SPECIAL INTERVIEW: LIVE
by Peridot Tears
Summary: Full summary inside. Crack. Crossovers: Naruto, chapters 3-6; Harry Potter, chapters 13-19; Warrior and FMA, chapters 22-28 !COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**ATTENTION GA'HOOLE LOVERS**

PT: Hi there everyone! This is a fanfic were you send in questions to ask Ga'Hoole characters! I'm not really funny but sometimes I try to be funny and it gets irritating at times. It might happen in this fic. I'm not plagiarizing DracoAries because I came up with this idea before I read her fanfictions. I do this with book characters, not Naruto. I still love Naruto! Coryn here will explain the rest.

Coryn: Hi! I will host this show with my partner and uncle, Soren!

Soren: Hi! 'Lemme call my mate in. PELLI!

(Pelli flies in)

Soren: Do the disclaimer!

Pelli: Guardians of Ga'Hoole belongs to Glaux forever!

Coryn: So that's it for now! Hoping to go on with the next chapter and get some questions! Bye!

Pelli: Glauxspeed!

Soren: Wait a minute, that's it?!

Coryn: NO DUH!

Soren: But the rest of the band hasn't come in yet! This is barely a page!

Coryn: Well we have no questions yet! LIVE WITH IT!!

Soren: No!

Coryn: Why you little…

Soren jumps Coryn and the two start fighting.

Pelli(Leaning forward towards the camera): Er…BYE!


	2. Chapter 2

PT: Aloha! Konnichi Wa! Hola! Hi! Bonjour! Here's another chapter of the special interviews! Here we have Nyra, Pelli, Coryn, Soren, Gylfie, Twilight, Digger aaaaaannnnnnnd Otulissa!

Nyra, Pelli, Coryn, Soren, Gylfie, Twilight, Digger and Otulissa: HI!

PT: Yosh! Everyone's here! Now here I have a little box of 3 coals! I will have one random owl here pluck out a coal. If the coal is an A coal, "Ezyl's Girl"'s question will go. If it's a B coal, then "Adderstar of Valorclan"'s question will go. If the coal is the bonk coal, then "Nyra's Hater"'s question goes. Understand? Good. No? Oh well…

Nyra: Wait! Nyra's Hater?!?

PT: Live with it! I don't like you either! You've lasted for almost the whole series! When will you die?!

Nyra(seething): Hey! No filthy blue owl or a stupid little owl holding a coal will ever get me! I am Nyra, GENERAL MAM OF THE PURE ONES!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The Band and Coryn glare at her)

PT: What is wrong with you?

Pelli: Are you done yet?

(Nyra stares)

PT (chuckling nervously): Oooooookkkkkkkkaayyyyyyyyyyy…Er…Soren! Pick the first coal.

Soren salutes and does so.

Soren: Adderstar of Valorclan first!

Otulissa: Cool. BUBO!

(Bubo comes in and takes the coal)

PT: Okay! Adderstar of Valorclan right? I saw your profile. I love Warriors too! I was thinking of writing a fanfic about Firestar and Leafpool or something…

Digger: Ummm…

PT: Oh, right. Errr…here's the question:

_**I have a question, more for K Lasky than anybody else, but I guess I could see what you guys think. Why is it that, before the Band came to Ga'Hoole, it seemed like nobody believed that the great tree was real? I mean, after the Band arrived, it seemed like it wasn't just a legend anymore, and everyone knew about it, and everyone was talking about it like, 'hey the great gahoole tree beat the pure ones again' 'really. that's great. Hey look, a mouse!' That doesn't make sense!**_

"…"

Otulissa: There is a point.

PT: I'll answer that, as Kathryn Lasky's not here. I think that after the Band made it here in the tree, Ezylryb was caught, right? Well, Kludd probably knew that since Soren made it from being pushed out of his nest, that he would go to Ga'Hoole because of all those stories Soren believed and thought _What if there really is a Ga'Hoole tree? We've caught an old Whiskered Screech after all and there's something about him… _So after he met up with Ga'Hoole owls and after a lot of fighting them, it was a little obvious that the Ga'Hoole tree existed. It became clearer when Saint Aggie's got involved, so owls heard about it. News seem to travel fast in the owl world. I hope this was a clear explanation.

Otulissa(miffed): I was supposed to answer that.

Coryn: Live with it. You can be nerdy sometimes, you know. You memorized a whole letter!

(Otulissa gives him an evil death glare. Nyra looks interested.)

PT: Next question! Pick one out Coryn!

(Coryn salutes and does so. He's been taking too many lessons from Soren.)

Coryn: Bonk!

Otulissa: Random!

Nyra: Where's that fat, filthy Horn Owl?

(Bubo comes in and takes the bonk coal, ignoring Nyra.)

Twilight: Shut up Monster Mam.

(Nyra glares)

Gylfie: Here it is:

_**So is it true that Pelli has been cheating on Soren with Coryn?**_

"…"

PT: NANI!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Pelli: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Soren: Pelli! Coryn!  
Pelli: I'm not! Honest!

Coryn: Eheheheh…

(Both sweat)

(Soren glares)

Soren: You better not jump me again…

Coryn: Hey no fair! I was on crack!

Gylfie: You just admitted it! You are on crack!

Soren: You ALMOST DAMN FRINKIN KILLED ME!

Digger: Guys. Guys…

Pelli: Soren!

Otulissa (quoting from Family Guy): And that's why children, we don't do crack.

"…"

Pelli: I'm not cheating on Soren!!!!!

PT (nonchalantly): We'll just use that as an answer.

Soren growls.

PT: All we have left is-

Nyra: I'm gonna kill Nyra Hater!

PT: Man, you are such a hater! Nyra Hater changed her name to 'Inglantine Owl Fantasy Forum'!

Digger: Here it is:

_**Ok, I have a question for you and for Nyra. **_

This your question, in the begining it said something about Naruto. is this story going to be a mix of GoG and Naruto?

Nyra's question: Did you really like Kludd, or did you just want his power.

PT: Wow! A question for me! YOSH! I am a total Naru-tard and I'm famous for it, as well as the fact I'm nerdy because I'm infatuated with reading and books. Plus, at school, I fit in but I'm weird….

Nyra: GET TO THE POINT SO I CAN KILL ALREADY!

PT: SHEESH! Alright already! Okay, I am really itching to put Naruto in here. So, all right. I'll put Naruto in here if I get questions for Naruto characters. I'll wait though, for the next chapter because this time, I'm gonna wait until I get at least 5 questions for this story. Of course I will put Naruto in here too! Oh, by the way, I have 3 fanfics for Naruto. One is my brother's, which I revised the best I can. It's short, real short. Another is my oneshot. It's about Deidara. It's really short, but not as short as my brother's story. I am also working on a fic called Tears. In it, Naruto starts when he's currently chasing Sasuke. I don't think anyone read it yet though. There's also a Xiaolin Showdown fic for anyone who loves Xiaolin Showdown so-

Soren: Stop adding random things!

PT: ALRIGHT! SHEESH! Nyra! Answer your question!

Nyra: None of your business why I was interested in Kludd.

Otulissa: If I may disturb, I found something in Saint Aggie's. You've apparently left it behind…

(A little pink book with 'Nyra's Diary' written on it in a wreath of hearts and flowers.)

Nyra: Hey!

She goes for Otulissa, but…

Coryn: Wow Gylfie, in all the time I've known you, you didn't seem the time to jump evil monster mams.

Otulissa: Alright, here's the entry:

_**Kludd is a handsome guy. I love his third head! It's so aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh… Sometimes I drool at him when no one's looking. So powerful, dark, handsome, evil… Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……………………………….**_

PT:Huh?

Twilight: Third head?

Pelli: So what? It's not like it matters. The question is answered. She wanted him for his power and she was interested.

PT: Desperate!

Pelli:Wha?!?!!?!?!??!?!

Bash, Blythe and Bell tumble out from a clump of moss they were hiding behind.

Bell: Hi Mum!

Bash: What's crack?

Blythe: Da cursed! Frinkin!

Digger: You were here the whole time?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

Pelli: PERIDOT! I thought you assured me that you would make sure my chicks won't sneak in for this interview! I knew they'd hear curses! I'm gonna bitchslap you to next Saturday!!!!!!

Bash,Blythe and Bell: BITCHSLAP!!!!!!!!!

Pelli gets real mad and grabs battle claws. She advances on PT.

PT (sweating): Errrrrrrr…

Digger (seriously): And that is why, children, this fic is rated T.

Twilight (leaning towards camera): Bye!

(Squeals of pain are heard in the background before the camera shuts down.)

Camera turns on again.

PT: Sheesh! I said I'm sorry!

Pelli: Hmph!

PT: Dawww…I'm so sawy…

Camera whirrs. PT notices.

PT: Huh?

Gylfie: I just found another review.

PT: Oh. What happened to Ny-

PT sees.

PT: Oh…

Soren: Here it is:

_**Here's a question for Twilight:**_

_**What are you, a rocker who listens to hardcore nu metal or an emo muffin who listens to wussy crud?**_

"…"

Bell: Okaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy…

Pelli knocks the chicks out and carries them to another hollow.

Soren: Twilight?

"…"

Twilight: EXCUSE ME!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

"…"

Twilight goes into a fit and sings some other song at the same time:

_**My life is spiraling downward.  
I couldn't get enough money to go to the  
Blood Red Romance and Suffocate me dry concert.  
It sucks 'cause they play some of my favorite songs  
like "Stab My Heart Because I Love You" and  
"Rip Apart My Soul" and of course,  
"Stabby Rip Stab Stab".  
And it doesn't help that I couldn't  
get my hair to do that flippy thing.  
Like that guy from that band can do.  
Some days you know... **_

'I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be  
You'd be non-conforming too if  
you looked just like me  
I have paint on my nails and make-up on my face  
I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs  
'Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag  
I call it freedom of expression,  
most just call me a fag  
'Cause our dudes look like chicks,  
and our chicks look like dykes  
'Cause emo is one step below transvestite!

Stop my breathing and slit my throat  
I must be emo  
I don't jump around when I go to shows  
I must be emo

I'm dark, and sensitive with low self-esteem  
The way I dress makes every day feel like Halloween  
I have no real problems but I like to make believe  
I stole my sister's mascara now  
I'm grounded for a week.  
Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies  
I can't get through a Hawthorne  
Heights album without sobbing  
Girls keep breaking up with me,  
it's never any fun.  
They say they already have a pussy,  
they don't need another one

Stop my breathing and slit my throat  
I must be emo  
I don't jump around when I go to shows  
I must be emo  
Dye in my hair and polish on my toes  
I must be emo  
I play guitar and write suicide notes  
I must be emo

My life is just a black abyss,  
you know, it's so dark.  
And it's suffocating me.  
Grabbing hold of me and tightening its grip,  
tighter than a pair of  
my little sister's jeans...  
which look great on me by the way.

When I get depressed I cut my  
wrists in every direction  
Hearing songs about getting  
dumped give me an erection  
I write in a live journal and  
wear thick rimmed glasses  
I tell my friends I bleed black  
and cry during classes  
I'm just a bad, cheap, imitation of goth,  
You can read me "Catcher in the  
Rye", and watch me jack off.  
I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life  
If I said I like girls, I'd only be half right!

I look like I'm dead and dress like a homo  
I must be emo  
Screw XBox, i play old school Nintendo  
I must be emo  
I like to whine and hit my parentals  
I must be emo  
Me and my friends all look like clones  
I must be emo

My parents just don't get me, you know.  
They think I'm gay just because  
they saw me kiss a guy.  
Well, a couple guys. But I mean, it's the 2000's.  
Can't 2 ... or 4 dudes make-out with  
each other without being gay?  
I mean, chicks dig that kind of thing anyways.  
I don't know diary,  
sometimes I think you're the only one that gets me,  
you're my best friend...  
I feel like tacos!

PT: That song's not for this mood but OMFG.

Soren: I'll go with emo muffin who listens to wussy crud.

PT: I don't own the song.

(glances at the reviews)

PT: 'Dead Promises', eh? That's actually a real good question for Twilight.

PT: Well, see ya.

Before the camera turns off, PT jumps Coryn just for the heck of it.


	3. Chapter 3

PT: Hi everyone! Welcome back to our special interviews! Today we have a special guest

that's staying here just for the heck of it!

Naruto: Hi!

PT: He's only staying here for a few chapters, so if anyone who loves anime and watches 'Naruto' can send in a few questions! We might have a lot of guests so keep watch please! He'll be staying for three chapters so…yeah…

Naruto: I would stay for more, but I'm getting stronger to be Hokage someday! I'm learning under the Ero-Sennin!!!!!!

"…"

PT: Do you know how that sounds?

"…"

PT: Let me translate: _I'm getting stronger to be fire shadow someday. I am learning under Perverted Hermit._

"…"

PT(bored):

_**I knew an egg by the name of Steve**_

_**Laid by a moo cow, I believe**_

_**Wore pants, suspenders and a tie**_

_**Only washed his face on the fifth of July**_

_**Once Steve took a nap in a frying pan…**_

… _**And woke up next to sausages!**_

_**Steve the egg!**_

_**Steve the egg!**_

_**How do you wear pants if you got no legs?**_

_**Steve the egg!**_

_**Steve the egg!**_

_**He woke up next to sausages!**_

_**Steve the egg!**_

_**Steve the egg!**_

_**How do you wear pants if you got no legs?**_

_**Steve the egg!**_

_**Steve the egg!**_

_**He woke up next to sausages!**_

Naruto: Alright already!!!

PT: Hater…

Naruto: Who's comin'?

PT: Nyra! The Band! Coryn!

"…"

5 minutes later…

5 more minutes later…

3 hours later…

Band and Nyra: Hi everybody!

Naruto: Man! You're LATE!

Coryn: Dawwwwwwww…I'm _so_ sawy…

PT: Hey! That's my line!

Coryn: I'm sssssoooooo-

(PT jumps Coryn)

Nyra: Get on with it already!!!!!!

Soren: Right! Since PT and Coryn are very unstable at the moment, I'll host the show in alphabetical order by the reviewers' names!

Gylfie: First up is britiyb!

Digger (reading from a piece of paper):

_**Question for Soren and Gylfie**_

Well... first of all I'm only read the first book, so this question is from when you two were in St. Aggies

Soren's guestion: Did you like Gylfie while you were in St Aggies?

Gylfie's question: Did you like Soren while you were in St Aggies?

"…"

Gylfie: Soren was just nice…and stupid at the same time.

Soren (turning red): Gylfie ate a dictionary.

Digger: That doesn't seem to answer the question.

Naruto: Does anyone notice I'm still here!?!?!?

Nyra: Shut up.

Naruto: Why you! (makes hand sign) Sexy no Jutsu!

Subtitles: If you watch, read or have any connection on Naruto, you know what this means.

Nyra (nosebleeding): That's more handsome than Kludd's third head!

(Nyra jumps Naruto just for…yeah…)

Digger: Soren?

Gylfie: Mmmm?

Soren: It's just…I have Pelli idiots!

Pelli (coming in): What did I hear?!!??!!?

Soren: Oh Glaux…save me…

PT (done): He likes Gylfie.

(PT swings camera away from Soren and Pelli)

PT: Where were we?

Naruto (looking over Digger's shoulder):

_**Ih8Bush**_: _**I have a question for Nyra when Cornyn was an owlet did he have emotional isuses?**_

PT (looking at Coryn on the floor of the hollow): I wonder…

Nyra: Of course he did for cryin' out loud! He cried all the time and asked for a centipede or water! I took care of him!

PT: That is called child abuse!

(jumps Nyra)

Digger (sighing): Forget alphabetical order…

PT: (grabs paper from Digger) Another one from Dead Promises!

_**As of now, here are the only questions I have for the gang:**_

Was this story's random craziness inspired by Bobobo or something?

and also

Can Kludd sing the song "Macarron Chacarron" by "El Chombo" just for fun? 

PT: Speaking of Dead Promises, I haven't seen Twilight.

Gylfie: He couldn't come.

Digger: He's very unstable at the moment.

Gylfie: Keeps muttering about his sister's pants.

"…"

PT: Sister…?

Digger: Exactly…

PT: By the way, I have nothing against emo because I acted like one before and they're still human. That song was pretty good…

Naruto: Sasuke's an emo! Sasuke's pale! Sasuke's dark! He likes to stay in the dark and wet…

PT: The image you just put in my head…

Naruto sweat drops.

PT: Well, onto the story! The random craziness wasn't inspired by Bobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobo…

Digger: How many Bo's are there exactly?

PT: I don't know, but anyway. Bobobobobobobobobobobobobobobobo…

Naruto: You only watch my show. It's the only anime you ever watched.

PT: True, but I did watch Shaman King, Yu-Gi-Oh and Spider Riders before.

Naruto: All gay.

PT: Don't use that word in front of me! I finished watching Spider Riders and Yu-Gi-Oh! I only a watched a little Shaman King! I liked One Piece too! I finished watching all my favorites! I only watch Naruto and iCarly now!

Naruto: Don't forget Drake and Josh, Ned's Declassified and Danny Phantom.

PT: Right. Now…

Naruto: Xiaolin Showdown was one of your favorites too! You're done watching it but you still love it!

PT (growling): Your point?

Naruto opens his mouth to answer, but PT jumps him.

Digger: Errrrr…yeah. Kludd's dead. How's he gonna sing Chacarron?

Gylfie: Easy. NARUTO!!!

Naruto comes up, barely conscious.

Naruto: I heard what you said.

(Makes hand seal)

There's smoke and it clears.

Kludd: Hi!

Coryn: Sing Chacarron!

Kludd (Nonchalantly.Naruto goes up behind him in a bikini to dance):

_**No puedo creerlooo que en la red, alguien se tomó la molestia de escuchar detenidamente la rola de Regeton-Chacarron Macarron y disque escribió su letra**_

La rola de Regeton - Chacarron macarron y la disque letra aquí

ooohuuu yehaaa ... sea.. sou.. jhonn macarron.. yeah macarron nooon  
Chacarron, Chacaron, Chacarron, Chacarron, ualuealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus, alsualsualualauusualulus  
Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron, Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron Chacarron, n', aliluliron, Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron

ualuealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus alsualsualualauusualulus   
ualuealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus alsualsualualauusualulus  
Chacarron, Chacarron, Chacarron, Chacarron, ualuealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus, alsualsualualauusualulus

Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron,, Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron, Chacarron, n', Chacarron,, aliluliron, Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron 

aluealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus, alsualsualualauusualulus ...ualuealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus, alsualsualualauusualulus  
Chacarron, Chacarro  
Chacarron, Chacarro  
Chacarron, Chacarro  
Dududadede dudadade do guduguda dubu Chacarron  
Bana blue  
Macarrón...   
Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron,, Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron, aluealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus alsualsualualauusualulus ...ualuealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus alsualsualualauusualulus   
Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron, Chacarron Chacarron, n', Chacarron, aliluliron, Chacarron, Chacarron  
Chacarron, Chacarron   
Chacarron, Chacarron,,  
ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus, alsualsualualauusualulus ...ualuealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus,,, alsualsualualauusualulus  
Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron,, Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron Chacarron, n, Chacarron, aliluliron, Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron  
ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus, alsualsualualauusualulus ...ualuealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus alsualsualualauusualulus Dududadede dudadadedo guduguda dubu Chacarron  
Bana blueendubu tu

Macarrón is a ro 

Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron,, Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron, aluealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus alsualsualualauusualulus ...ualuealuealeuale ualuelaelaellalea, alsualsualualauusualulus alsualsualualauusualulus 

Chacarron, Chacarron, aliluliron, Chacarron, Chacarron, n', Chacarron, aliluliron, Chacarron, Chacarron

PT: Dude…that was creepy.

Gylfie: Awkward.

Nyra: KLUDDY! You and your third head are back!

Kludd disappears.

Coryn: Awkward…

Nyra: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PT: That's all the questions! Now we can all jump each other freely!

Naruto: On three!

(Everyone takes position.)

Naruto: Sho…

Digger: Dos…

PT: THREE!!!!

Camera shuts down.


	4. Chapter 4

PT: Hi! Welcome back to our very special interviews! Today we have more Naruto characters at the request of the reviewers! Plus, I'd like to add that the Naruto characters are staying for only a couple more chapters. Their last chapter will be Chapter 5! Then, we'll go back to our regular round of asking questions for Guardians of Ga'Hoole! Plus, reviewers can send in other books, movies, anime, manga, cartoons or TV shows in which have characters they want to ask questions and I'll decide from which I will get a guest! I'll declare it in some future chapter so…yeah…

Naruto: Get on with-

Twilight: HELL YEAH!!!!!!

Gylfie: Okaaaaaaayyyyy…

Soren: Erm..yes well…why don't we introduce who's here…

Digger: Okay. Today we have…behold! The Band! The Naruto guests! Coryn!

"…"

Digger: Are you beholding it?

PT: iCarly rip-off…

"…"

Gylfie: Let's get on with it…

Twilight: YEA! I VANNA FOOK YA BVOOD!!!!!

"…"

Subtitles: Twilight was never really right after singing 'I Must Be Emo'.

PT: Okay! First question from Inglantine!

Digger: Inglantine?

PT: Yeah. You know the one who first reviewed with the name Nyra's Hater?

Nyra (coming in eating a dry caterpillar): Huh?

"…"

Soren: You stole Ezylryb's caterpillar you BITCH!!!!

(Soren jumps Nyra)

Coryn: You notice we're always jumping each other?

"…"

PT: Um…so here's the question:

_**HAHAHA!! can you bring Kiba on? and Akamaru? here's the question for Naruto:  
do you know Hinata likes you?**_

Kiba: That's why we're here!

PT: No need to ask! Just send in a question for a character for these few chapters. Only Naruto characters for now. Just send in a question for a Naruto character and then we'll bring the character on! Still, the last chapter we'll do that on is chapter 5. Then, our guests will leave. For now, they're staying at the Ga'Hoole tree.

Kiba: Akamaru loves peeing on the trees! Espscially in spirals!

(Coryn smacks Kiba)

Coryn: You peed on me idiot!

Kiba: Don't you mean Akamaru peed on you?

"…"

PT:…………………Eeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr…Naruto…you…?

Naruto: Hinata likes me? Huh?

PT (shaking her head): I cannot believe you never noticed…baka…

Naruto: That can't be true!

PT smacks him over his head

Digger (reading from paper): Question 2 from britiyb:

_**For Naruto:**_

Did you know...  
Sasuke is more:  
handsome  
cuter  
hotter  
and better

Than you

The only thing you're better at is being funny.

Do you like Hinata?

Now for Gylfie:

When and Why did you eat a dictionary.

Digger you're cute!

For P.T.:  
Since you like the show Naruto so much, can you get another person to guest on this fic?

This is from my sister who can't log in at the moment...

To Naruto:

WILL YOU STOP SAYING BELIEVE IT ALREADY? Oh, and I want to know why you're so obsessed with finding Sasuke. I'm not big on yaoi, but that kiss in the first few eps gets us fans thinking...

Naruto: NANI?!!?!? What's so great about Sasuke?!?!?! He's an emo bastard!

PT: Cool it Naruto. Not everyone's a Sasuke fangirl…You and your dad have fangirls too. In fact, since your dad's so popular, my friend's brother calls him sexy.

"…"

Naruto: Who is my dad?

PT: If you bother to find out…

Naruto: How?!?!?!

PT: OH MY FRINKIN GOD!!! IT'S SO OBVIOUS! WHAT KIND OF IDIOT DOESN'T KNOW!?!?!??!?!?

Naruto: Uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………

PT smacks him

Gylfie: At least he's funny. He's such a knuckleheaded idiot.

"…"

Digger: You watch the Others' stuff?

Gylfie: You should try it. Naruto's dad is hot. So's Sasuke's brother, but he looks like a girl. His eyes are so feminine.

Naruto: Who's my frinkin father!?!?!?!?!

PT: Find out yourself! You must be stupider than I thought! It's so damn easy! Have you ever thought of going into Hokage Office to double check!?!?!?! Or Kakashi's room!?!?!?!?!?

Naruto: ...Good point…

PT smacks him.

Gylfie: Okay…I'd like to say that I never ate a dictionary in the series…

Soren: You still ate a dictionary yesterday! I saw you!

Gylfie smacks him.

PT: Anyway, like I said, you just ask the questions for Naruto characters and I'll bring them in. So let's answer britiyb's sister's question.

Naruto: I stopped saying 'Believe it'! I stopped around the Chuunin exams!

PT: Wow…you actually know when you stopped saying it…You still say 'dattedbayo'!

Naruto: I do not…dattebayo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gylfie smacks him.

Naruto: Plus, I'm not obsessed with Sasuke in anyway! It's Sakura-chan's that's cool!

PT: You do know who you had your first kiss with, don't you?

"…"

PT: Anyway, here's the question from Adderstar of Valorclan. I know you hate Naruto. I've seriously got no problem with that. My oldest friend thinks it's gay. I used to hate it too…

Naruto: Until you watched the first episode and ended up crying…

PT: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PT jumps him

Gylfie: Eeeerrrrrr…here's the review:

_**Q for Naruto: What's with the whiskers? You look like a blonde otter! And your fashion sense sucks! You look like Kenny McCormick from South Park! You know, the one that dies in every episode! And this is coming from someone with no sense of fashion at all! That's sad...  
Q for PT: can I come on the show and beat up Naruto with my KITTYCAT KUNG FUR skills? (Shrek Puss in Boots eyes) Please?  
Q for Ezylryb: Um, your one of my fave characters and everything, but I have to say that as a big brother, you kind of screwed up. I mean, I know Ifghar's proposal was kind of... not good, but that's no reason to yell at him! Just talk to him calmly, ask him where he got the idea, and explain to him why it's not a good idea. Great StarClan, don't call him treasonous and steal his battle claws!**_

PT: Sure you can beat him up. Only…in the next chapter. I don't know how you can come on the show and beat him up.

Naruto: Those whisker marks are…

PT: Kyuubi. It's because of the Kyuubi sealed in you. Plus, you really do look like Kenny. To me, you look like an otter sometimes when I really think of it.

"…"

Coryn: How's Ezylryb's supposed to hear this?

Ezylryb: I'm right here.

Soren: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ghost!

Ezylryb: I'm a scroom idiot. Plus, I'll just say Ifghar's an idiot okay?

Disappears

Gylfie: What's Starclan?

PT: It's from the Warriors series. It's about cats that live in the wild in four clans and train to be warriors and medicine cats. Starclan are their dead warrior ancestors. I'd tell you more, but that would spoil the series. I can tell you that you must read Firestar's Quest though. It's a special. I read all the books, even the manga! (Puffs out chest proudly)

"…"

Gylfie: Creepy…

Soren: Oooookaaaaaaaaayyyy…

Coryn: Next question is from ezyl's girl:

_**Whoa...kinda funny but also simultaneously weird. Why did you keep jumping people?**_

Question for Coryn: What does the word "emo" mean for you?

PT: There's a point. Why do we keep jumping people?

"…"

PT: Well…all I can say is…we've been promoted to slapping each other!

"…"

Coryn: To answer my question, I'll say that for me, emo means pale, sad dudes who do a flippy thing with their black hair and cut themselves…

PT: They wear cute clothes.

"…"

Coryn: Creepy…

Twilight: OH YEAH! LAST QUESTION! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PT: Man! Never do that again!

"…"

PT: This one's from Dead Promises:

_**Har har har! That was flipun hilarioos!  
I mean, it's cool naruto can hardcore freestyle rap!XD  
Thanks, now I have two more questions:**_

Simon, If you weren't going to last squat after one (or three counting the scroom encounters) chapters in "The Siege", what was the point of putting a picture of you on the last part of the book?

Nyroc, How do you feel about the fact that your mother is on the cover of "Playbird" magazine?(I bet you didn't know! XD)

That's all, great chapter btw!

PT: That's what I wondered. Now come to think of it, I think Simon was significant as to warn Soren about his brother or something.

Simon: What she said.

PT:AUGH! WILL YOU FRINKIN SCROOMS QUIT POPPING UP ALREADY!!!!!!!!!! SIMEON! Sim-Me-ON!!!!!!!

Simon disappears

Coryn: Huh?

Twilight: SIMEON!?!??!?!

PT: I have a classmate named Simon. He honestly has no life and he enjoys pissing me off. I'm serious! He comes up and disses me for no reason! Ever since we found out that his real name's Simeon, no one let the matter drop! It's wearing off now, though…

Coryn: You like him?

PT smacks him.

Soren: Anyway, Coryn, how do you feel about the fact that your mother, Nyra, is on the cover of the Playbird magazine?

"…"

PT: I don't get it. She's beautiful, powerful and sings well but she's a complete bitch. I once showed a classmate the owl pictures in the back of The Siege and out of all the owls, he said that Nyra was the most weird looking.

"…"

Coryn: MY MOTHER?!?!?!?!!??! ON THE PLAYBIRD MAGAZINE?!?!?!!??!?!

Soren: Yeah. Here.

Soren gives Coryn the Playbird magazine

"…"

(The magazine's cover has Nyra, posing seductively on one leg)

Coryn blasts off with a nosebleed.

Naruto (gasping): A new record!

Kiba smacks him for no reason at all.

PT: We're done!

Digger: Great!

Twilight: THEN LET US SMACK TILL WE SMACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"…"

Soren: Yes! Let's!!!!!

Everyone runs around and smacks each other.

The camera shuts down.


	5. Chapter 5

PT: Yo! Welcome back to our oh so special interviews! Today, we all have something to tell you! I did a little planning on our schedule and I will say this: This is your last chance to send in questions for the Naruto characters. They will answer questions in the next chapter and in they'll be gone by Chapter 7. Then, you can all suggest anime, books and movies or whatever. Then we, the owls and I, will choose one of those anime-

Coryn: You know, why don't you do an example of the choosing?

"…"

PT: Okay… Let's say ezyl's girl inquires me to bring characters from Yu-Gi-Oh. Then Adderstar of Valorclan asks that I bring in characters from Warriors. Then maybe…Dead Promises will ask for Ed, Edd and Eddy. Then Ih8Bush asks for characters from…Princess of Thieves…

Digger: Princess of…

PT: My granpa made me watch it. It was good.

Gylfie: But you're only twelve years old!

PT: I'm technically 13! Besides, I watched it when I was 8. I watched a lot of adult movies.

Naruto: You're weird that way.

PT smacks him.

PT: So anyway, say I choose Warriors. Then I'll bring in Warriors characters, like Brambleclaw, Princess, Smudge, Hattie, Ravenpaw, Barley, Brooke, Icekit, Ashfur…

Coryn: We get the point!

PT: Right. So we'll announce if we decide on something.

Kiba: I didn't get any questions!

Coryn smacks him.

Sakura: So anyway! Let's introduce who's here!

Gylfie: The Band! No Twilight this time because he's highly unstable! Coryn! Nyra! Gemma!

Naruto: Naruto! Sakura! Kiba! Akamaru! Kakashi-sensei!

Sakura: You said your name first!

Naruto: Naruto very glad.

Sakura smacks him.

"…"

Digger: Er… First review from ezyl's girl!

_**Wow...I finally logged on.**_

Okay, that was the best chapter yet! I want to appear on SPECIAL INTERVIEW: LIVE!Please? Can I say: "Omigod! They killed Naruto!" at appropriate intervals?

Question for Soren: Who do you think is the most sexiest-looking bird on Playbird magazine?

PT: Thanks. Sure you can. Just one second! SOREN!

Soren's munching on caterpillars.

Soren: Yeah?

PT: Who's the sexiest bird on Playbird magazine?

Soren: After careful decision, I chose Nyra.

"…"

Coryn: NANI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????

"…"

Coryn:

_**Do you like waffles?**_

_**Yeah we like waffles!**_

_**Do you like pancakes?**_

_**Yeah we like pancakes!**_

_**Do you like French toast?**_

_**Yeah we like French toast!**_

_**Do-do-do-do! Can't wait to get a mouthful!**_

_**WAFFLES!**_

_**WAFF…!**_

PT smacks him.

PT: Shut up before I blow your ass-cheeks off! I'm not having you end up like Twilight!

Coryn: Rush Hour rip-off…

PT smacks him.

PT: Anyway, come on in ezyl's girl! We're calling you Connie! I read your profile! I read everyone's profile!

Connie: Hi!

Naruto: You're a stalker.

PT smacks him.

Connie: Omigod! They killed Naruto!

Kiba: Er…next review?

Digger: Yeah. From Ih8Bush:

_**Digger what did in that hole like we don't know already bowchica wow wow with soren's dauters(can't spell)?  
Nyra do you know what that tatoo on cornyn's butt says?  
Coryn why are you such a ?**_

"…"

Digger: You…can't spell?

PT: Don't avoid the question baka! What did you do in that hole the other day with the three B's!?!?!?!?

Soren smacks him.

PT: Michael Jackson's human too, but say he's a pedophile so I can insult you. HAHAHA! Digger's Michael Jackson!

Digger smacks PT.

PT, Digger and Soren smack each other.

Nyra: Uhh… Well, the tattoo on Coryn's ass says 'I like nuts!'.

Coryn: Mommy! You're embarrassing me in front of my friends!

PT: XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN RIP-OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a school trip tomorrow!

Coryn: Huh?

PT: Tomorrow, I have a field trip to a play. We're going on a bus. As soon as people start singing, we're gonna start singing Steve the Egg!

Coryn: We didn't ask.

PT smacks him.

Naruto: Well it's true! Dattebayo!

PT jumps him.

Connie: OMIGOD! THEY KILLED NARUTO!

Naruto: I'm alive!

PT: DIE! DIE! DIE!

"…"

Kiba: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory rip-off…

Coryn: I'm not a !

PT smacks him.

PT: Yes you are! I saw you the other day! You were…

Long beep comes on.

"…"

Gylfie: Errr… Next from Adderstar of Valorclan:

_**Aaww I wanna smack Naruto. I also want to smack Gemma and that Masked Owl female from the Journey.  
Anyway...  
Coryn: Is there a special female in your heart? IS THERE?  
Twilight: Dude, your mom is hella cool. Huhuhuhuh, yer name is Cassius.  
Digger: What happened to your feelings for Sylvana?  
PT: Who is your favorite character? Who is your least favorite? My favorite was whatsername...Struma. Strix Struma. She was hella cool.**_

Gemma: …

PT: That's why she's here. Anyway, COME ON IN ADDERSTAR!!!!!!!

Adderstar: Hi!

Adderstar smacks Gemma.

Gemma: Blasphemy!

Adderstar smacks again. Gemma's unconscious.

PT: Well, now you can beat up Naruto.

Adderstar: Yippee!

Naruto: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Camera swings away from the two. Squeaks of pain are heard and there are violent sounds.

Connie: OMIGOD! THEY KILLED NARUTO!

Digger: I'm going out with Sylvana now okay?

Coryn: Kalo's cute.

PT: I've never really decided on my favorite character. I like Cody, his mom, Fengo, Namara, Lutta, Grank, the Band, Ezylryb, Mrs. P, the Chaw of Chaws, Coryn, Uglamore, Siv, Svenka, Anka, Rolf, Sven, Hoole and some other characters. I actually kind of like Ygrik. I also like Theo and Phillip. Don't forget Kalo and her family. Strix Strumajen is a bitch, no offense to anyone. I mean, YOU DON'T KILL AN IMPOSTER WITH NO EXPLANATION!!!!!!! Lutta's death was so sad. I feel sorry for her. I also hate Dewlap. So that's my answer.

Coryn: Anyway, let's see if Twilight's stable now. TWILIGHT!

Twilight comes in, sane at last.

Twilight: Huh?

Coryn: This is your question:

_**Twilight: Dude, your mom is hella cool. Huhuhuhuh, yer name is Cassius.  
**_

"…"

Twilight: YOU DO NOT FANCY MY MOTHER!

PT: Isn't Cassius the name of someone who helped Brutus and some other guys assassinate Julius Ceasar?

"…"

Twilight faints.

PT: …Whoa…

Kiba: Um… leave him?

PT: Kiba, you're my wife.

"…"

PT: Next question from…Inglantine!

_**HAHAHA!! LOL!!**_

here's a question for everybody on the show:  
have yuo ever been to the zoo?

PT: Oh yeah!

Nyra: What's a zoi?

Coryn: Zoo, you primitive idiot.

Nyra: What?

"…"

PT: Do you know what it is?

Coryn: No…

Digger: You can see animals there!

Naruto: They're creepy!

Kiba: Akamaru had a great time there!

Sakura: It stank!

Kakashi: We had to clean up after the animals once. It was a mission.

Kiba: The elephants were hard!

Gylfie: …

"…"

PT (freaked out): Next question from Dead Promises:

_**Har har har, poor Coryn!  
I bet he's scarred now! Anyway, I have another question:  
Acording to the comic I found on deviantart, is it true that Kludd and Soren would prefer to go to starbucks than continue their mortal sibling rivalry? Just wondering!  
Funny chapter**_!

Coryn shivers and faints dead away.

Soren: …Any mention of that incident in the last chapter, he's definitely scarred…

PT: Thanks. Anyway, the comic, Soren…?

Soren: Kludd's an asshole okay!?!?!??!!? I hate Starbucks!

PT: … So do I but Kludd loved it.

Coryn: I like it.

PT: Like father, like son.

Coryn faints again.

Soren: I VANNA FOOK CLOD'S BVOOD!

PT smacks him.

PT: Don't do that. Anyway, that's this chapter.

Camera swings.

Adderstar (cheerfully): Bye!

Connie: OMIGOD! THEY KILLED NARUTO!

"…"

PT (Prodding Naruto with her foot. It's censored.): He's not dead.

"…"

Adderstar: He might as well be dead.

PT nods.

Kakashi: Anyway, let's get some lunch. That milkberry tart is good.

"…"

Kakashi: What?

Everyone conscious: WHEN DID YOU EAT?!?!?! REMOVE YOUR MASK AT ONCE!!!!!!!

Camera turns off.


	6. Chapter 6

PT: Hi everyone! WELCOME!

Coryn: Shut up.

"…"

PT slaps Coryn.

PT: Anyway, let's talk about high schools!

Coryn: Why?

PT: We're waiting for the others to finish dinner and come in! Besides, I finally started to think about high schools. I'm only in 7th grade but my mom won't let me go to the school everyone else is going to.

Coryn: What is it?

PT: Why would I tell? It'll reveal where I live and I don't trust anyone.

"…"

Coryn: What are you planning to attend?

PT: Maybe Bronx Science.

Coryn: I thought you wanted to go to Hunter.

PT: I did because I want to be a writer, but my fifth grade Statewide Test grade wasn't good enough. I couldn't take the test last year.

Coryn: Why Bronx Science though?

PT: They teach French, Japanese and Latin there. I'm going to learn those! I'm working on Japanese already!

"…"

Coryn: What else?

PT: There's English Literature.

Coryn: But you already write like Thomas Jefferson.

PT: Shut up. I'm like him but for different reasons. Besides, there's always more to learn.

Coryn: Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh… How was your field trip?

PT: It was great! We watched 1776 and it was boring sometimes but funny! John Adams is obnoxious and disliked! John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence first! I remember seeing his signature in my textbook! Thomas Jefferson was a book freak and quiet like me! He was also creepily tall!

"…"

PT: I liked the end. Everyone signed the Declaration of Independence one by one and came to the edge of the stage. My friend said that was a lot of people. Plus, my other friend flirted with the actress who played Abigail Adams! New York kept abstaining! The people acted like idiots! One guy was way too buoyant! His name's Richard Henry Lee!

Everyone else enters.

Coryn (relieved): Hi everyone!

PT: Hi guys! What took you so long?

Naruto (coughing): Milkberry tart… Mask…

PT: Oh… I fangirl your dad sometimes.

"…"

Naruto: STOP DOING THAT!!!!!!

PT: XP

"…"

Kiba: Errrrrr… Maybe we should introduce who's here?

Sakura: Sakura! Kiba! Akamaru! Kakashi-sensei! Ebisu-san! Naruto.

Naruto: Hey! You said the Closet Pervert's name first.

Sakura: Ebisu-san is better than you!

PT: Urm… Guys? This is getting real offensive because my nickname at school is Closet Pervert.

Naruto: YOU NAMED YOURSELF AFTER THE CLOSET PERVERT!??!!?

PT: I liked it. Besides, a lot of my friends have nicknames. There's Cookie, Gram-Gram, Pillsbury Dough Boy…

Kiba: Huh?

PT: Pillsbury Dough Boy knows he's fat. I don't see why anyone would care. It doesn't matter to me. He's nice. Once, someone in my class was like, "Who wants chocolate?" and he went, "Oh! Me! I'm a fat boy!"

"…"

PT: Plus, on the school trip, I was listening to the Akatsuki Sailor Song on my cell phone because I recorded it. I sang along and my friend said "Leave the Akatsuki alone." Plus, later, I saw 'Tobi' written on the back of a seat. Then, I told her and she said "Tobi's a good boy. Leave him alone."

PT cracks up.

"…"

Coryn: Is that like, a punch line or something?

PT: Yup! We have a ton at school!

"…"

Otulissa: Maybe we should introduce the owls?

Digger: Bow chica wow wow.

"…"

Soren: Shut up Digger! I know what you're thinking!

Digger: Tobi's a good boy.

"…"

PT: Uh… The Band! Coryn! Mrs. P! Nyra! Otulissa!

Otulissa: Errr… First question:

_**LOL, that was the funniest chapter yet!  
How'd you know I like EEnE anyway? Ah well, here's a question  
For Naruto:  
Did you ever teach that sexy ninjutsu to beavis and butthead? they'd pay you alot if you did!  
Now here's one for Kludd:  
Since you're an emo now, can you sing the song "feel" by Robbie Williams for me?  
And here's the last one for Nyra:  
What do you think sucked more? Rambo or alien vs. predator:requiem? (better yet, which one did you think was more violent?) and if you havent seen the movie, here's another question: Do you like buttered toast?  
Anyway, good to see an update!  
C U soon!**_

-DP

PT: Oh! Dead Promises!

Coryn: You fancy him!

PT smacks him.

PT: Leave Dead Promises alone.

Coryn: You-

PT: He's 16! I'm 12! Now can you shut up?

"…"

PT: Arigatou gozaimasu.

"…"

PT: You notice that a lot of people on are 16.

"…"

PT: Anyway, Naruto…?

Naruto: Of course I'd teach the Sexy Jutsu! If I get payed!

PT: You've been hanging out with Jiraiya for too long.

"…"

Ebisu: Such insolence…

PT: Shut up.

Naruto: I suppose you want me to summon Kludd again?

Otulissa: WAIT! Look:

_**My bad, that emo question was meant for Twilight (cause I know Kludd's a heavy metal rocker! Hell yeah!)**_

PT: Oh right… Dead Promises reviewed twice.

Sakura: HELL YEAH!

PT: Yea. Nay.

"…"

PT: What? It's from the play.

Twilight: You're obsessed with it.

PT: They pronounced 'Yea' as 'Yay'.

"…"

Twilight: No one asked.

"…"

PT: Sing 'Feel'.

Twilight: No way! I-

Twilight starts grinning like an idiot.

Twilight:

_**Come on hold my hand,  
I wanna contact the living.  
Not sure I understand,  
This role I've been given.**_

I sit and talk to god  
And he just laughs at my plans,  
My head speaks a language, I don't understand.

I just wanna feel real love,  
Feel the home that I live in.  
'cause I got too much life,  
Running through my veins, going to waste.

I don't wanna die,  
But I ain't keen on living either.  
Before I fall in love,  
I'm preparing to leave her.  
I scare myself to death,  
That's why I keep on running.  
Before I've arrived, I can see myself coming.

I just wanna feel real love,  
Feel the home that I live in.  
'cause I got too much life,  
Running through my veins, going to waste.

And I need to feel, real love  
And a life ever after.  
I cannot get enough.

I just wanna feel real love,  
Feel the home that I live in,  
I got too much love,  
Running through my veins, going to waste.

_**  
I just wanna feel real love,  
In a life ever after  
There's a hole in my soul,  
You can see it in my face, it's a real big place.**_

_**  
Come and hold my hand,  
I wanna contact the living,  
Not sure I understand,  
This role I've been given**_

Not sure I understand.  
Not sure I understand.  
Not sure I understand.  
Not sure I understand.

PT: Beautiful song… T/-\T

Coryn: You're abusing Itachi faces.

Naruto smacks him.

PT smacks Naruto.

PT: Guess what everyone! I have uploaded a new Naruto oneshot!

Kiba: We're not here to advertise your stories.

PT (pouting): Awwww… I just uploaded on my Warriors fic…

Kiba smacks PT.

PT: You're still my wife!

Kiba: OKAY PT! YOU, FEMALE WRITER! ME, MALE SHINOBI!

PT: YOU, STILL MY WIFE!!

"…"

PT: NYRA! YOU ANSWER QUESTION!

Nyra: … I've never watched either of them, but buttered toast is good!

"…"

Kakashi: True enough. It's good. Especially if you have it with milkberry tart.

"…"

Naruto jumps and attempts to take his mask off. Kakashi dodges.

Kakashi: Now, Naruto. What have we discussed about jumping people!

Naruto: I-uh-I… I'm on high!

"…"

PT (quoting from school): Don't eat yellow snow.

"…"

Digger: Quack is whack.

PT slaps him.

PT: _Crack_ is whack idiot!

Nyra: SHUT UP!!! Next question is from Adderstar of Valorclan:

_**WHOOHOO KEEP THE CHAPPIES COMING!  
Q for Nyra: Girl, what is it that you see in Kludd? He's way younger than you, so that counts as seduction of a minor, and he's an fratricidal psychopath with half a face and a huge ego.  
Q for Soren: Everyone seems to think you'd go good with Gylfie, you know, pairing-wise. What are your thoughts on this?  
Q for Gylfie: Everyone seems to think you'd go good with Soren, you know, pairing-wise. What are your thoughts on this?  
Hooray I got to beat up naruto! (sees naruto fans glaring) err... right now would probably be a good time to start RUNNING LIKE HECK!  
A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-H-H-H-H!**_

PT turns red.

Naruto: Haha!

Kiba smacks him.

PT: Your dad is real good-looking.

"…"

Naruto: STOP THAT!

Naruto is covered in scars and bruises.

PT: You're lucky you're alive at all. Last week, you had to be censored when you got beat up.

"…"

Naruto: All you people are mean!

PT smacks Naruto.

Naruto faints.

Nyra: Kludd had a cool third head! He was way too young but who cares?

PT: He's got a huge ego like Omi from Xiaolin Showdown and half a face like Brightheart from Warriors. Only, who cares? Kludd's so scared of showing himself, he wore a mask! He named himself Metal Beak! At least Brightheart was brave!

Nyra: Stupid Brightheart…

PT smacks her.

PT: Leave everyone alone.

"…"

PT: Kludd was a phsyco. I hated him.

"…"

PT: I still hate him. Now, Soren…Gylfie?

"…"

PT: I think it's cute, but what do you think?

Soren: I HAVE A MATE!

Gylfie: I'd like to stay single, thanks.

Pelli comes in with a battle claw.

Pelli: Did I hear something?

Soren: WHY?!!? WHY ALWAYS TIMES LIKE THIS?!?!!?

Camera swings away. Soren is screaming.

Gylfie: So that's what we think about the pairings!

"…"

Gylfie: URM! Next question! It's from Ih8Bush:

_**is Nyra a big fat owlet abuser  
coryn did you know that if swich y and n in your name it spells corny  
soren what is the square root of 1  
Nyra why are you a bitch**_

Nyra: I only took care of Coryn!

PT: Yeah. He was whiny and you did stuff to him. We can all see that.

"…"

PT: You are an abuser. You killed the Rogue Smith of-

Nyra slaps her.

Nyra: Shut up or I'll beat your Japanese ass back to Tokyo!

PT: I'm Chinese, baka!

Nyra: Why do you speak so much Japanese then!?!??!

PT: I'm learning it!

"…"

PT: Hey Coryn, should we call you Corny now?

Corny: …

Corny faints.

Gylfie: What's the square root of 1?

"…"

Soren: I have…no idea.

Otulissa: I can't believe you idiots have no idea what it is!

PT: What is it?

Otulissa: The square root of 1 is the square root of 1! NO DUH!

"…"

PT: Good point…

Mrs. P: Well done, dear…

Soren sulks.

PT: Nyra, your turn.

Nyra: I'M NOT A BITCH!

PT: DIE THEN! DIE! DIE! DIE!

Otulissa: It's still ripping off Charlie-

PT: -The Unicorn! Hey Charlie! We going to Candy Mountainnnnnn. Candy Mountain Charlie…

Soren: Shun the non-believer! Shunnnnnn… Shunnnnnnn… Shunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-nuh. Yeah…

PT smacks him.

PT: Since when did you go on Youtube?!!??!

"…"

Mrs. P: Ur… Here's the next question from britiyb:

_**OMG! OMG! OMG!**_

I just finished the first book!

for Soren: did you like Mrs. P. riding on your back?

for Digger: why did you faint alot when you met Soren, Gylfie and Twilight?

for P.T.: Could you get some characters from Inuyasha (if you do, can you put me on the show so I can kick Inuyasha's butt?) or from Pichi Pichi Pitch

and even though she's not on the show, Mrs P.:what is it like to be blind?

PT: Great! I still remember how I felt when I finished the first book!

Corny: Well, you live only two blocks from the smaller library and the larger library is downtown. The smaller library is has all the Guardians of Ga'Hoole books.

PT: So?

Corny: It's easy for you to read the books!

PT: I still see no point in mentioning that. Besides, the books are sometimes hard to find.

"…"

PT: Anyway, Soren…?

Soren: I didn't mind Mrs. P on my back at all. It wasn't bad.

Digger: Why did I faint?

Twilight: You very weird and delicate.

"…"

PT: Digger was strong enough to fight baka. Anyway, I'll consider Inuyasha.

Soren: You don't watch it.

PT: I know some people who do. I'll just ask Shalopi…

Kakashi: Another nickname?

PT: Yup. Anyway, Mrs. P?

Mrs. P: The question is, what's it like to see?

PT: Good point…

Sakura: Next question from ezyl's girl:

_**hahaha! Thank's for letting me on the show. Can we really invite someone from Yu Gi Oh? If we could, I chose Zombie Boy (aka Bonz, seriously what kind of name is BONZ?), or maybe Evil Marik.**_

Question for Twilight: ARe you an assassin? If so, can I higher you to murder Coryn for me? He's a bitch

Corny: Hey!

PT: We'll get to that! Anyway, I'll think about Yu-Gi-Oh. It was my first anime and favorite show! Plus, what the hell!!?!?!??! Bonz was always creepy. It'll be fun to toy with Evil Marik. Hmmm… I'll think about it.

Twilight: I'm not an assassin. I only killed once!

PT: You sure about that?

"…"

Corny: How am I a bitch?!?!?!

Otulissa: Hey, I just noticed, did something happen to your review filter?

PT: Yeah. I disabled it.

"…"

Mrs. P: Now, now Coryn.

Corny: I just noticed something… PT! YOUR STORY IS CALLING ME CORNY!!!

"…"

PT: Perhaps we should make it Horny then.

Corny/Horny: HEY!

PT: XP I saw you doing-

Long beep comes again.

Ebisu: What kind of scandalous dance is that!??!!??!?!?!?!

Otulissa: Next review from Inglantine:

_**Still funny, can you bring characters from Lucky Star? if you can, I want Kona, Yuki, Kagami, Tsakasa, Yui, and Akira.**_

here's Coryn's question: if you could be someone else, who would you be?

PT: I'll think about it. I've never heard of Lucky Star either, but I have anime loving friends so I'll ask around. Besides, I've only found out about Bleach last summer. My friend loved it. I'm planning to read the manga.

Naruto: Hey!

PT: Shut up.

"…"

PT: Anyway, Horny-

Corny/Horny: I'd like to be a ninja okay?!

"…"

Gylfie: Why?

Corny/Horny: So I could beat someone up! Like PT!  
Ebisu: Such barbarity!

"…"

PT: I… Uh… Er… I need to go to the bathroom!

PT runs off.

Kiba: Weird…

Naruto: We're done.

PT comes in.

PT: I accidentally went into the…boys' bathroom…

"…"

Sakura: Anyway, we Naruto characters are leaving now! We won't be here anymore!

Kakashi: I'm going to miss milkberry tart.

Twilight: Bye!

Ebisu: We might make a cameo in-

PT: Shut up! That's for the last chapter in this story!

"…"

Mrs. P: When is the last chapter anyway?

PT: I have no idea.

"…"

PT: Well! Our guests are going home now!

Naruto characters: BYE!

Soren: Glauxspeed!

PT waves.

Owls: Bye!

Camera shuts down.


	7. Chapter 7

PT: WELCOME! I'd like to say that it has gotten quiet since the Naruto characters left…

Horny: Thank God.

Soren smacks him.

Gylfie: Shut up!

"…"

PT: So we're back to questions! Today, we're going to pick the questions out of a ceramic bowl…

Soren: That you used for smoking pot earlier.

PT smacks him.

PT: I'm 12 idiot! How can I smoke pot?!?!?!?!

"…"

PT: Anyways, I'll introduce who's here. The Band! Twilight's unstable once again so he has to stay in his hollow! Horny!

Horny: STOP THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"…"

PT: I know who you like. Ka-

Horny: SHUT UP!

PT: L-

Horny: NO!

PT: Kal-

Horny: STOP THAT!

PT: Kalo.

Horny: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PT: XP

"…"

PT: Isn't it fun torturing you?

Horny:

_**So if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together, just to sing we love you  
And if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together just for you**_

Racing all around the seven seas  
Chasing all the girls and making robberies  
'Causing panic everywhere they go  
Party-hardy on Titanic

Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing  
Drinking, drinking 'till the ship is sinking  
Gambling, stealing, lots of sex-appealing  
Come, let's sing the sailor-song

So if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together, just to sing we love you  
And if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together just for you

_**Sailorman, you really turn me on-**_

PT smacks Horny.

PT: No way! I'm not having another unstable being in this tree!

"…"

PT: Er…

Horny: I know your real name!

PT: OH NO! DON'T YOU DARE!

Horny: DE-

PT: NO!

Horny: M-

PT: DON'T YOU DARE!

Horny: DEMI!

PT: I HATE YOU!

"…"

PT: Well, look on the bright side. No one knows what town I live in. Or school I attend. No one knows anything about me except my name and age. First name. Ha!

Gylfie (pointing out the obvious): Isn't Demi a rare name? I mean, you are the only Demi in your school.

"…"

PT: I HATE YOU!

"…"

PT: One day, everyone will know about me! That's right! When I become a writer, look for books on the public shelves! I will use the pen name Peridot Dygs! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Horny: You're talking to yourself again. You must be really weird to do that.

Subtitles: PT used to talk to herself in elementary school.

"…"

PT: Damn, I hate you.

"…"

Horny: HAHA! You're name is revealed.

PT smacks him.

PT:

_**Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
'Cause I got you babe  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
'Cause I got you babe  
'Cause we gonna fight  
Oh yes we gonna fight  
Believe we gonna fight  
We gonna fight  
Fight for our right to love yeah  
Nobody wanna see us together  
But it don't matter no  
'Cause I got you**_

Nobody wanna see us together  
Nobody thought we'd last forever  
I feel 'em hopin' and prayin'  
Things between us don't get better  
Men steady comin' after you  
Women steady comin' after me  
Seem like everybody wanna go for self  
And don't wanna respect boundaries

Soren smacks PT.

Horny: I thought you didn't want another unstable being in this tree.

PT: My friends call me moon unit.

"…"

Gylfie: We're ripping off a lot these days! Earlier in this chapter, we ripped off Warriors and now we're ripping off Garfield! WHAT NEXT!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?

"…"

Soren: Gylfie, calm down.

PT (shaking out of it): I thought you two didn't like the pairings for you two.

"…"

Pelli comes in with a battle claw. You know the drill.

Pelli: You know the drill.

Camera swings away from Pelli and Soren.

Soren: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I DON'T WANNA DIE! I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"…"

PT: What the hell is wrong with you?

"…"

PT: Errrr… Guess what people! I've recently updated some-

Horny: WHAT DID WE SAY ABOUT ADVERTISING YOUR FICS!??!?!?!?!??!?!

"…"

PT clears throat.

PT (nervously): OKAY! Here's a question we will pick randomly from the hole Digger did something in with the Three B's…

Digger screeches.

Digger:

_**Oh say, can you se-**_

PT smacks him.

PT: We're not here to sing the American national anthem!

"…"

Gylfie: Aaaaaaaannnnnnyway, here's the first question.

Gylfie picks out a review.

Gylfie: First review from ezyl's girl. Oh, she reviewed twice this time:

_**I'm not 16, I'm 13!**_

Farewell, Naruto characters!

I never thought of a good question for them...oh well.

When you started to call Corny Horny, I spat water onto the computer screen.

Horny: (reading over Gylfie's shoulder): Here's the second review:

_**And I wanted to add, Do you and Corny/Horny live on the same block or something? How come he knows all about your school?**_

"…"

PT: Wow, I've never thought that I'd make someone laugh that hard. If you don't count the time I was talking about Family Matters in front of my friend and he spat his milk out.

"…"

Gylfie: Family Matters?

Horny: Milk?

PT: You must have a real seductive image in your head, Horny, you pervert.

"…"

Gylfie: Family Matters?

PT (imitating Steve Urkel): Did I do that?

"…"

PT: That used to be one of my favorite shows, okay?

Horny: Oh yeah! I loved it! I watched the last episode that was aired!

PT: I hate you. I watched a lot of episodes but I doubt I watched what could have filled in 5 seasons. I did a little research and I confirmed that I started watching when Steve was first introduced. Well, the first episode I watched was when Steve and Carl became pilot buddies, then when Carl was in the hospital and the robber he wasn't able to catch was trying to kill him.

"…"

Gylfie: Can we just start answering questions already?!?!?! We've already taken up 6 pages!

"…"

Digger: … Racdrops anyone?

"…"

PT smacks Digger.

PT: Okay, I'd like to say that Horny and I-

Horny tries to jump PT. One of Pelli's battle claws hit him.

PT: -Don't live anywhere near each other, but we certainly… Good point. Horny, have you been stalking me?!?!?!?!?!

"…"

Horny: I was only trying to bang on your dog!

"…"

PT screeches and flies into a rage. She starts attacking Horny. The camera swings away.

Horny (screaming in a distance): But I was on high!

PT: Don't get high, idiot! Don't eat yellow snow! You pervert! Crack is whack! I saw you doing-

Long beep comes on again.

Pelli (done): Okay, next review.

Pelli picks out a piece of paper from the hole.

Gylfie: What happened to Soren…?

It's censored.

Gylfie: DAMN YOU CENSOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"…"

Digger: Er… (takes paper from Pelli). Next is from Dead Promises:

_**dARN THAT WAS FUNNY!(sniff, beautiful, Twilight!)  
Poor Coryn! I guess this is what happens when  
Katheryn's not there to decide your destiny  
(lol, Naruto dad fangilr, that cracked me up!)  
I didn't know you watched Charlie the unicorn, that's hilarious!  
Well, this is the funniest chapter yet! Sorry about  
The whole college thing thought, I plan to take Japanes this  
Summer!XD  
I didn't want to add a question, but what the heck, here's a try:  
Nyra, If there was a scary anime character you'd like to team up with, which of the following would it be?:**_

a)Gaara from Naruto  
b)Marik from Yugioh  
c)Envy from Full Metal Alchemist  
d)Ozai from Avatar, The Last Airbender

(Better yet, in YOUR opinion, who do you think is...what's the word, hotter?XD)

That's all, cool chapter once more!

-DP

PT: Alright then, let's call Nyra in.

PT flips open her cell phone and dials. Nyra picks up.

Nyra (on the other end): 'Lo?

PT: We need you on the set.

Nyra: PT? I can't come now. I'm posing for the Playbird magazine.

In the background on Nyra's end of the line: (Wolf whistle) Keep it goin' Nyra baby! Keep strippin'!

"…"

PT: …

Horny: Um…PT? Did Nyra say anything? You seem awfully…quiet…

PT: Please come in? Pppppppppllllllllleeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssse?

"…"

PT: If you don't, I'll tell everyone what happened that night when-

Nyra: Alright! Alright already! That's blackmail!

PT: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nyra hangs up.

PT: By the way, while we're waiting for the supposedly lovely, supposedly sexy Barn Owl…

Digger makes a noise.

PT: Can I ask what happens in the movie, Flinch? Why was Gina Gershon chloroformed anyway? It seemed real freaky. I was like "O.o".

"…"

Digger: I thought you'd say something more important.

PT: It is! The scene was like 'OMFG. This makes no sense'.

Digger: You found it on Youtube?

PT: Yup! I was just randomly fooling around, typing in random names and clicking on a random video.

Horny: Weird…

PT smacks him.

Nyra comes in.

Nyra: Alright everyone! Why did you call me!?!??!?!?!?!?!

Horny sweat drops for no reason.

Pelli: Hi bitch.

Nyra: Whah?

"…"

Pelli: You got a question from Dead Promises.

Nyra: Oh, the guy who brought Kludd and his third head back?

"…"

Pelli: … Errrr… Here's the question:

_**Nyra, If there was a scary anime character you'd like to team up with, which of the following would it be?:**_

a)Gaara from Naruto  
b)Marik from Yugioh  
c)Envy from Full Metal Alchemist  
d)Ozai from Avatar, The Last Airbender

(Better yet, in YOUR opinion, who do you think is...what's the word, hotter?XD)

PT: Oh yeah, I watched Naruto, Yu-Gi-Oh and Avatar, The Last Airbender.

Nyra: HAHA! I watched all of them, Full Metal Alchemist too!

"…"

PT restrains herself. She turns rrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllly red.

Nyra: I'd team up with Marik, but Gaara's hotter! His beautiful red hair and chest, Marik's supreme evile-ness…

PT: Johnny Test rip-off…

Nyra: … Gaara has a beautiful tenth head!

"…"

Digger: Nyra! I love the Playbird magazine, so I have to show you something today!

"…"

Digger gets on one knee and takes a box out of thin air.

Digger: Will you-

"…"

Digger: …Marry me?

Digger opens the box. There's a silver ring with twenty miniature heads around it.

"…"

Nyra: …

Digger: YES! SHE SAID YES! THE SUPER-HOT, SEXY, SEDUCTIVE NYRA IS MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

"…"

PT: Now that's what I call DESPERATE.

Horny: YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO MY MOTHER! TELL ME YOU'RE NOT!!!

Digger: NYRA IS MY HUSBAND AT LAST!!!!!!!!

"…"

Horny faints. Nyra faints.

Digger: OH! MY POOR, DEAR, SUPER-HOT, SEXY, SEDUCTIVE HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!

"…"

Digger carries Nyra into a private hollow to do…something…

Pelli: Huh, that bitch deserves it. At least it's not the three B's.

PT: Bow chica wow wow.

"…"

PT: Errrrrrrr… ahem, next review from…(picks out piece of paper) Inglantine:

_**YAY!! MORE FUNNYNESS!**_

Q for Soren: do you ever notice anyone watching you? looks around

PT faints.

Soren (coming to): Oooooooookaaaaaaaayyyyy… Bow chica wow wow.

"…"

Pelli: Come on! Answer the question!

Soren: I never notice anyone watching me…

Pelli: You're too stupid to.

Soren: But… I'M BEING STALKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"…"

Soren hides behind Pelli.

Soren: HOLD ME!

"…"

Pelli: No…

"…"

Soren (whiny): But why…????????????

Pelli: You're an idiot…

Soren: But we're mates!

Pelli: I married you because I hate you.

"…"

PT (coming to): Dude, that makes no sense…

"…"

PT: ANYWAY! WE'RE DONE WITH THE QUESTIONS!

"…"

Digger comes in with Nyra. Nyra is in a black groom's tuxedo and Digger's in a… wedding gown…

Everyone conscious: OO

"…"

Digger (tipsy): WELCOME! SAY HI TO MY NEW HUSBAND! WE'RE MARRIED AND EXPECTING CHICKS! JUNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOW CHICA WOW WOW!

Wedding music turns on.

"…"

Everyone besides the new 'husband' and 'wife' fall down and faint.

Digger: WOW! THEY MUST BE SO TOUCHED BY MY NEW HUSBAND!


	8. Chapter 8

Digger: Oh, hey everyone. I'm going to host this chapter because PT said I have to. So I will!

Twilight: Hi everyone! I'm back to normal!

Ebisu: That's splen-

PT: GET OUT!!!!!!!

PT kicks Ebisu out.

PT: Sorry about that. I don't know why he's here. Anyway, yes, today, the Band, Pelli, the three B's, Striga, Horny and I will be on the shoe.

Digger: You said 'shoe' instead of 'show'.

"..."

PT: Okay, just shut up and let Horny host the show then.

Soren: Oh no.

PT: Okay! Now, we haven't been getting many reviews and that's sad...

Pelli: Everyone's got their own lives.

PT: But we only got three reviews this week and the last!

"..."

Pelli: So?

PT: If we don't get enough questions, we'll have to close the show down!

"..."

Pelli: So?

"..."

PT: Okay, just shut up. Anyway, first review from Adderstar of Valorclan:

_**Heheheh.  
I know a girl named Demi. She goes to my kung fu class, and the teacher pronounces her name "Dee-mee". Heh, Chinese people are awesome.**_

PT: Oh cool. I'm Chinese too. I think my mom would really love to hear that. So-

"..."

Horny: Huh?

PT: KUNG FU!?!?!?

"..."

PT: I WANT TO LEARN KUNG FU AND JUJITSU AND I HEAR SOMEONE GOES TO A KUNG FU CLASS!?!?!? THE CRUELTY OF THE WORLD! THE DARKNESS OF THIS PLANET! THE TREACHORY OF THAT EARTH!!!!!!!!

"..."

Striga: Um, girl, you need to chill for once.

PT: Shut it, Orlando.

"..."

Striga shuts up.

Pelli: You know, that wasn't really a question.

PT: What's your point?

"..."

PT: Okay! I have written a new Cirque du Freak fanfic and updated on Jaypaw's Quest with probably the best chapter simply because I satisfied readers and it was fun to write-

Horny: You know, this running gag on you advertising your fanfics isn't really great anymore.

"..."

Soren: So...moving on. So, ezyl's girl reviewed twice:

_**Well, ya never kno actually. There was a guy in my old school. He was 11 and he got high on crack a lot. **_

Abusive parents. You know the drill.

Poor guy.

OMFG Digger why the hell did you do that? Ur not real. What did you do with the real Digger?

What has become of the Digger we knew and loved (okay, omit the 2nd part)? This IS UNACCEPTABLE!

I watched the first episode of Avatar The Last Airbender. What's the deal with the girl's weird spaz out?

Demi (don't worry, Connie is the only name in my school of 800 people), you know you did sort of reveal where you come from. You omitted the entire US beneath the point of Concord, California, by announcing "Don't eat yellow snow."

It doesn't snow down there. 

PT: ...Here's more:

**_Oh and (a few) other notes... _**

Just finished Exile.

Striga: Do you subscribe to Playbird? How the hell did you and Nyra hook up so quickly in Exile?

HornyPorny: You don't deserve to be king. You don't deserve Kalo, either. What the hell is wrong with you? You got moon-blinked, didn't you?

Bell: And what was wrong with you? Do older owls turn you on or something? Nice heroics, tho, saving you mother.

Pelli: You go girl! I mean, owl.

PT: Why were you guys singing random songs?

Twilight: Your last chant in Exile was extremely lame. Make up a new one about Nyra.

Digger: Why twenty heads? Why not seven thousand?

Cleve (send him on the show,please?): WHY? WHY? YOU RUINED MY PLOT LINE YOU BITCH! NOW ITS AU, GLAUXDAMMIT! YOU DON'T DESERVE OTULISSA! READ MY FANFIC!

[Okay, are you done ranting now?

I think my Yami side just came out...oh no.

[What do you think you're trying to prove?

Don't mind the other side. She's just crazy.

[Hey, at least I don't mind crush people...

Okay, shuddup.

End of review! 

"..."

PT: Whoa...

Digger (blinking): Did what?

PT: Um...you did something with Nyra in the last chapter.

Digger???

"..."

Digger: Then how do I not remember a thing?

"..."

Gylfie: Huh?

"..."

PT (candle coming up): Oh yeah! Now I get it! Maybe... One sec...

PT rushes off.

Striga: Sometimes, I can never understand her.

There's a scream. PT runs back in.

PT: I KNEW IT! DIGGER! YOU DRANK THE WHOLE SUPPLY OF SAKE IN THE TREE!

"..."

Gylfie: Are you talking about the sake you had for the Naruto characters? You kept it behind the scenes since chapter two.

PT: Yup. I thought the amount of sake was decreasing.

Digger: Sake!?!?!!??!!? I thought it was water!

PT: Well apparently, you thought wrong, man.

Digger: EEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

"..."

PT: Okay... Anyway, yeah, why did that girl spazz out so much?

"..."

PT: Anyway, yeah, you're right, I don't live in that part of the country. I'm from New York.

"..."

Gylfie: You still live there.

"..."

PT: Okay, okay. Anyway, let me read this again.

PT reads again.

"..."

Gylfie: Er...you okay?

"..."

PT: NANI!?!?!??!?! CHARNA'S GUTS!

Gylfie: CHARNA'S GUTS!?!?!??! WHAT KIND OF SICK PERSON ARE YOU!??!!?

"..."

PT: EXILE CAME OUT GLAUXDAMMIT! I DIDN'T KNOW! I STILL CAN'T READ IT!

PT goes into a corner to sulk and curse.

Digger: Gylfie, you know that you just ripped off Xiaolin Showdown again, right?

"..."

PT falls down.

Digger: You guys, I think she's dead.

Everyone besides Digger: YAY!

Everyone drinks sake for a while.

Striga: Anyway, I'll answer my question. Yes, I subscribe to Playbird magazine, but I don't think she's my favorite. My favorite is...Pelli!

Pelli: Oooohhhh yeah...

Pelli realizes that Soren is there.

Pelli: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!

"..."

The camera swings away.

"..."

Horny: Why do people call me gross things like that?!?!?!?!

Digger (too much sake, again...): Hey beautiful Porny.

Porny: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"..."

Twilight (in a Cliffhanger tune from Between the Lions): AND THAT'S WHY HE'S DON'T DESERVE TO BE KING!

"..."

Subtitles: In serious need of a grammer teacher.

Twilight: Hey, I'm so good now, I can pursue a career in singing.

"..."

Gylfie: No...we shouldn't. After all, we all need another unstable being in this tree.

Subtitles: Note the sarcasm.

Bell: OK! My question!

Bash: Why does everything happen to you?

Blythe: I know. We're important too!

Bell: Uhhh... Too bad suckers?

Blythe: YOU MEANIE!!!!!!

Bell: Anyway, I guess so. For the question I mean.

Other B's: WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Pelli: Oh, yeah. Thanks for the compliment!

Everyone stares at Soren. It's censored...again.

PT comes to.

PT: Who's question are we up to?

Porny: Yours, baka.

PT smacks him.

PT: Oh, yeah... I guess we just sing random songs out of the blue because...

"..."

PT: Good point...

Twilight: I just chant okay? I be an owl and paid for it?

"..."

PT: Your bad grammer and punctuation is really getting to me.

"..."

PT: So Digger, what do you say about the heads?

Digger: Heads?

PT: When you proposed Nyra last week, you gave her a ring with miniature heads on it.

"..."

Digger: I HATE HEADS!!!!

PT (mumbling): Because you have such an empty one...

PT: Okay, we'll bring Cleve in. CLEVE!

Cleve: I HEARD YOU! I DON'T WANNA DIE! PWEASE!

"..."

PT: You know, you can just say sorry.

Cleve: Daaaaaawwwww, I'm so sawy...

PT leaves the hollow to smack Cleve.

PT: I love Yu-Gi-Oh! Anyway, keep suggesting anime, books and stuff if you want! I'll decide any day now!

Digger: Aren't you supposed to be smacking someone?

PT: Oh yeah...

PT leaves.

Twilight: Anyway, the next chap-

Striga shoves him.

Striga: NO! ME! I'M GOING TO ANNOUNCE IT! NEXT CHAPTER, WE'LL BE APART SO WE'RE GOING TO DO THE SHOW IN A CHAT ROOM! OH YEAH! WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER NEXT WEEK!

Camera shuts down.


	9. Chapter 9

**_SPECIAL INTERVIEW: LIVE CHATROOM_**

_Closet Pervert has logged on_

_Guy from Orphan School of Tough Learning has logged on_

_Porny has logged on_

_Ezyl's Guy has logged on_

_The Tiny Walking Dictionary has logged on_

_Sake Guy has logged on_

_Ezyl's Guy's Girl has logged on_

_Peaceful Spotty Owl has logged on_

_Snow Rose's Descendant has logged on_

Closet Pervert: Hi everyone! Welcome back to SPECIAL INTERVIEW: LIVE!

Ezyl's Guy: If I could, I'd smack you.

Closet Pervert: Shut up, Soren.

Ezyl's Guy: How'd you know it was me?

Closet Pervert: You were declared Ezylryb's son, baka.

Ezyl's Guy: MEANY LALA! You ceppie?

Closet Pervert: Huh? Is your English that bad? Spell apple.

Ezyl's Guy: jkdouekjrairkrpjkjhgggnpsopdlkenfefdfadispipooqsjbmv

Closet Pervert: ...

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: It's me, Pelli!

Closet Pervert: ... I's PT...

Sake Guy: Hi! I'm Digger!

Guy From Orphan School of Tough Learning: I'm

Porny: Hi Twilight. I'm Porny.

Peaceful Spotty Owl: Ewwwwww!!!!!! It's you! It's really you!

The Tiny Walking Dictionary: Do you ever bother to shut up, Cleve?

Snow Rose's Descendant: Hi Gylfie.

The Tiny Walking Dictionary: Hi Madame Plonk.

Ezyl's Guy: Boy Gylfie. You sure have a way with snowy owls, especially with the Snow Rose's descendants.

Closet Pervert: Yeah, you got along with the Rogue Smith of Silverveil quite well.

_"..." Please stand by..._

Closet Pervert: Huh?

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: She's dead, baka.

Closet Pervert: Oh yeah...

_Ezyl's Guy's Girl has logged off_

_Ezyl's Guy's Girl has logged on_

Closet Pervert: Hey! Why'd you smack me!?!?!?

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: Just shut up and I'll copy and paste the review from ezyl's girl. She reviewed three times:

_**[That was the most boring, uninformative chapter I have ever - **_

Shut it, you.

Alright! Let me on the show again! PLEASE? I want to murder Cleve with a pencil sharpener. And let me have some sake too.

I'm learning Japanese!

[And that's why I'M not...

(points at tree) Korewa nihongodenandoimasuka?

Question for Pelli: When did you start on PLaybird?

[Was Soren unsatisfying or something?

Did you go to Kludd for answers?

[Now that's just gross...

I'm just advertising my fics! 

Closet Pervert: ...

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: _**Did you hear? I'm starting a crackfic community. **_

PT is an invited staff. 

Closet Pervert: Oh really? Cool! I'll join! I love crackfics!

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: So, answer the first two reviews first people.

Closet Pervert: Okay, well, I've already answered the crackfic community review. So, sure you can come on and beat up Cleve!

Peaceful Spotty Owl: NO!

Closet Pervert: Too late!

_Ezyl's Girl has logged on_

Peaceful Spotty Owl: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! NOT THE PENCIL SHARPENER!!!!!!!! NNNNNNNNNNOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Peaceful Spotty Owl's end has witnessed an error. Logging out. Microphone is being fixed on Ezyl's Girl side._

Closet Pervert: Ow, you can hear the violent noise from here, even.

Porny: That's because there's a microphone on, baka.

Closet Pervert: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. So Pelli, when did you start on Playbird?

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: I started after Nyra did. Soren did get boring.

Ezyl's Guy: AH! WHY!? WHY DO YOU BEAT ME UP ALL THE TIME!?!? THEN, I COULD BEAT YOU UP FOR CHEATING ON ME!

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! LIFE AIN'T FAIR BAKA!

Closet Pervert: By the way, what does 'Korewa nihongodenandoimasuka' mean?

Guy From Orphan School of Tough Learning: Haha! You don't know!

Closet Pervert: I'll smack you later. Start running.

_Guy from Orphan School of Tough Learning has logged off_

Closet Pervert: I've got to read Purest Pelli sometime! I'm advertising my own fics! I've updated on

_Closet Pervert's end has witnessed an error. Logging out. Microphone is being fixed._

Porny: I think Demi's being punched by her dog.

Sake Guy: ...

The Tiny Walking Dictionary: Here's a review from Adderstar of Valorclan:

_**Cleve: Do you like Otulissa (starts giggling like a nerd)  
Madame Plonk: Do you like Doc finebeak (continues giggling like a nerd)  
(Flippy from Happy tree friends comes in and smacks adderstar)  
Flippy: SHUT UP!  
Me: Hey, what are you doing here? This is GoGh, not HTF!  
Flippy: Eh...LOOK! A DISTRACTION! (runs off)  
I heart Happy TRee Friends.  
PT: You ever seen happy tree friends? (starts laughing evilly)**_

_Closet Pervert has logged on_

Closet Pervert: I'm back.

_Peaceful Spotty Owl has logged on_

Peaceful Spotty Owl: NOT THE PENCIL SHARPENER!!!!!!!!!!!

Sake Guy: Oh yeah, I've got to give ezyl's girl sake.

Closet Pervert: I'll do it. I don't trust you. I'm not logging off though.

Peaceful Spotty Owl: So what if I like Otulissa? She's got an awsome head.

Ezyl's Guy: ...

Snow Rose's Descendant: Doc Finebeak or Bubo... Doc Finebeak or Bubo...

Closet Pervert: Hi everyone! I'm Demi's brother, Henry! I'm using her account! So ha! Plonk is hitting on two owls!

_Microphone is being fixed._

Closet Pervert: That's violent noise you just heard. My idiot brother. I'll kill him later. Remember, he has a way with girls. He's a real playboy. He has an eye mostly for one girl named

_Microphone is being fixed._

Sake Guy: I think she's fighting her brother.

Closet Pervert: Ow... Anyway, I've never watched Happy Tree Friends in my life... T/-\T

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: Still abusing.

Sake Guy: Next review from I-Heart-Werewolves:

_**WHAT? EXILE CAME OUT? Why didn't I know that? Why wasn't I informed? I have to read it, I HAVE to! I should... I should go get that book now vfgteysuhbs iogaef n has a spasm GAH! Ok, I think I'm good now. Since you aren't gettin' too many reviews lately, I shall provide a question! A marvelous question! Once I think of one... I don't think I'm capable of thought at the moment. Sorry. I hate Pelli. That was random, but I REAALLY DO HATE HER! I WANT HER TO DIE! I WANT HER DEAD! mafia voice "Pelli sleeps wit da fishes." See, how awesome does that sound?**_

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: I love fish! So ha! I'll sleep with the fish and eat them the next day!

Closet Pervert: How do I put this...

Sake Guy: Cool. Pelli sleeps wit da fishes. Awsome!

Porny: I hate Pelli, but she's supposed to be my aunt, so I have to pretend to like her.

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: What was that?

Porny: I like you so much Auntie! It's not like I want you dead and I'm pretending to like you because you're my aunt!

Closet Pervert: Smacks forehead

Closet Pervert: I found Exile in the bookstore. I read it a little and I'm waiting for it to show up in the library. The library always seems to have the newest book in time. Porny, you need some romance in your life. I actually found some funny parts in the book. Twilight's obsessed in Punkie Night.

_Guy from Orphan School of Tough Learning has logged on_

Guy from Orphan School of Tough Learning: PUNKIE NIGHT!

Porny: Punkie Night is officially banned from the tree forever!

Guy from Orphan School of Tough Learning: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Porny: I love torturing you with that lie. XP

_Guy from Orphan School of Tough Learning has logged off_

Porny: Next review from Dead Promises:

_**Hee, this one was funny  
Especially with the 3 b's part, FU-NNY!!  
Anyhow, I dont think I'll be asking questions anymore (since I've lost my curiousity), so here's my last one: **_

Digger, is it true that you and Kludd do fanservice for Harry Potter owls only? (including S&M?XD)

That's all, bye!

-D to the P 

Sake Guy: I DO! I'VE SENT A BUNCH OF FERRETS TO MALFOY ONCE! IT TORTURED THE HELL OUTTA HIM! THEN I SENT MAD-EYE MOODY!

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: I wonder...

Closet Pervert: Bye Dead Promises! It was great knowing you!

Ezyl's Guy: Next review from Inglantine:

_**can you bring in charries from Avatar? **_

q for Coryn: how does it feel to be king? and sing 'I just can't wait to be king.' 

Closet Pervert: I'll consider Avatar.

Porny: It's cool being king!

_Microphone is being fixed on Porny's side._

Porny:

_**I'm gonna be a mighty king  
So enemies beware!**_

_**Well, I've never seen a king of beasts  
With quite so little hair**_

_**I'm gonna be the mane event  
Like no king was before  
I'm brushing up on looking down  
I'm working on my ROAR**_

_**Thus far, a rather uninspiring thing**_

_**Oh, I just can't wait to be king!  
You've rather a long way to go, young master,  
if you think...**_

_**No one saying do this Now when I said that, I-  
No one saying be there  
What I meant was...  
No one saying stop that  
Look, what you don't realize...  
No one saying see here  
Now see here!**_

_**Free to run around all day  
Well, that's definitely out...  
Free to do it all my way!**_

_**I think it's time that you and I  
Arranged a heart to heart**_

_**Kings don't need advice  
From little hornbills for a start**_

_**If this is where the monarchy is headed  
Count me out!  
Out of service, out of Africa  
I wouldn't hang about  
This child is getting wildly out of wing**_

_**Oh, I just can't wait to be king!**_

_**Everybody look left  
Everybody look right  
Everywhere you look I'm  
Standing in the spotlight!**_

_**Not yet!**_

_**Let every creature go for broke and sing  
Let's hear it in the herd and on the wing  
It's gonna be King Simba's finest fling**_

_**Oh, I just can't wait to be king!  
Oh, I just can't wait to be king!  
Oh, I just can't waaaaaait ... to be king!**_

Closet Pervert: Wow, you sang all the parts at once.

_Porny has logged off_

Closet Pervert: I wonder where he's going. Probably to woo Kalo.

_Porny has logged on_

Porny: You take that back!

Closet Pervert: XP

Ezyl's Guy: Next review from Ih8Bush. Oh, he's back:

_**there's a girl at my school who says she shots barn owl what should I do to her?**_

Closet Pervert: CALL THE LOONEY BIN! Oh, wait, hang on a sec. My dog needs to go to the bathroom.

Sake Guy: I say, alert the authorities.

Ezyl's Guy: NO! CALL THE LOONEY BIN FOR GLAUX'S SAKE!

Porny: THROW EMBERS AT HER AND THEN CALL THE LOONEY BIN!

Closet Pervert: I'm back! If we're still on Ih8Bush's question, then I suggest talking it over with her.

Porny: NO! LOONEY BIN!

Closet Pervert: And the genie from Aladdin was set free so he could marry and have little babies.

Porny: ...

Closet Pervert: What? I heard it from the teacher in a classroom today, during afternoon class.

Sake Guy: It's Saturday.

Closet Pervert: I ATTEND FRINKIN WEEKEND SCHOOL ON SATURDAYS GLAUXDAMMIT! I THOUGHT TODAY WAS FRIDAY! I WAS STAYING AFTER SCHOOL TODAY TO FINISH HOMEWORK!

Sake Guy: You ditched all your weekend homework again?

Closet Pervert: HAI!

Sake Guy: Any other news we didn't ask for?

Closet Pervert: It snowed two days ago! I've been doing hanstands on it on the lawn! I was barefoot and wore only a shirt and pants! That's the most snow I've seen in a long time!

Sake Guy: ... Err... Next review from Gar-Gar

Closet: That's my idiot brother. Gar-Gar's my idiot brother. I'd cuss him here, but apparently, he's reading this fic now. If he reads the cusses, he'll tell our mom and my life will be over.

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: Really? I've got to read his fics at some point!

Closet Pervert: Don't. They're the worse fics ever. You might just kill yourself. They're worse than the Naruto German opening.

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: Oh yeah, I remember! NaRUto! Belieeeeeevve...

Closet Pervert: Sheesh, when the chant came up, they said something about a ninja clan. WHAT NINJA CLAN!??!!? Naruto's not from a clan!

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: He may be from an Uzumaki clan.

Porny: THAT'S A THEORY!

Closet Pervert: They call Sasuke 'Sa-soo-kay'! Sheesh, it's 'Sasgay'!

Ezyl's Guy's Girl: Very gay. People pair him up with Naruto.

Closet Pervert: I've got to read another one of those sometime. I've read lots of yaoi. I've read Orochimaru and Minato, Sakumo and Minato, Kakashi and Iruka, Gai and Kakashi, Sasuke and Naruto and Kakashi and Naruto. If you count Harry Potter, I've read Scorpius and Albus Severus. Oh, and I've read Genma, Raido and Hayate

Tiny Walking Dictionary: Guys, Gar-Gar's review!

Closet Pervert:

_**This was funny. Chapter is good. How many chapters will you make? How will you ... ahem never mind. I liked you when you smacked some owls**_

Tiny Walking Dictionary: Your bro is weird.

Closet Pervert: I know. On Parent Teacher Conference Night at my school, Flubber Toy observed him and told me that he's more hyperactive and weird than me. He said he could see how. Family genes. XD

Tiny Walking Dictionary: Weird...

Closet Pervert: HEY HENRY! I'LL MAKE MANY CHAPTERS AND SHUT UP ABOUT SMACKING OWLS!

_Gar-Gar has logged on_

Gar-Gar: Hi Demi! I got my own account!

Closet Pervert: HENRY! YOU BONKURA!

_Gar-Gar has logged off_

Closet Pervert: Once this is over, that gaki's a dead man...boy...

Porny: Next review from ezyl's girl:

**_[I've seen Happy Tree Friends. It's ridiculously gory, but I think its kind of cruel. _**

NANI!?  
DID I JUST HEAR SOMETHING NICE COME OUT OF MY YAMI?

[You heard wrong. I like knives...they make me feel all tingly inside...

Okay. Anyway, one more thing to add. Can you make Twilight sing "Rockstar" by Nickelback? Except make all the references owlish (ie the Playboy references, make them Playbird etcs?).

ek. Making too many requests.

[Maybe I should take over...

No! You! Back in your box!

BTW have you considered my C2 offer? 

Closet Pervert: Wow, I've developed an alter ego a few weeks ago. It's the complete opposite of me. The ego always wears glasses. It's a guy. He hates books, anime and manga, especially Naruto. He is a sissy. He hates writing. He hates the outdoors. He also wears bright, flashy clothing, especially pink. OH THE HORROR! Plus, he wears neat, orderly clothes, is fat, tanned in the winter, pale in the summer and has short, straight, light hair.

Porny: Okay, so you're telling me that you don't have glasses and you are emo.

Closet Pervert: I don't wear my glasses anymore out of choice and I'm always wearing black or dark blue.

Porny: EEEEEEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Closet Pervert: Augh! Alright, would you like to join the Anti-Smoking Society?

Porny: Sure.

Closet Pervert: Congrats, you are officially an ass. You are part of the ASS and you are one yourself!

Porny: Someday, bitch.

Closet Pervert: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey, ezyl's girl, you're not making too many requests. Don't worry.

_Guy from Orphan School of Tough Learning has logged on_

Guy from Orphan School of Tough Learning: I must sing!

_Microphone is being fixed on Guy From Orphan School of Tough Learning's side_

Guy from Orphan School of Tough Learning:

_**I'm through with standing in line  
To trees we'll never get in  
It's like the bottom of the ninth  
And I'm never gonna win  
This life hasn't turned out  
Quite the way I want it to be **_

Tell me what you want

I want a brand new tree  
On an episode of Cribs  
And a bathroom I can play baseball in  
And a king size pond big enough  
For ten plus me

So what you need?

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit  
And a big black jet with a hollow in it  
Gonna join the mile high club  
At thirty-seven thousand feet 

_**Been there, done that**_

**_I want a new tour bus full of old guitars  
My own star on Silverveil Boulevard  
Somewhere between Hoole and  
Theo is fine for me_**

**_So how you gonna do it?_**

**_I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame  
I'd even cut my down and change my name_**

**_'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars  
And live in hilltop trees driving fifteen cars  
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap  
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat  
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars  
In the VIP with the movie stars  
Every gold Burrowing owl's  
Gonna wind up there  
Every Playbird bunny  
With her bleach blond hair_**

**_Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar  
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar_**

**_I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels  
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes  
Sign a couple autographs  
So I can eat my meals for free  
I'll have the quesadilla, ha, ha  
I'm gonna dress my ass  
With the latest fashion  
Get a front door key to the Playbird mansion  
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to  
Blow my money for me  
So how you gonna do it?  
I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame  
I'd even cut my down and change my name_**

**_And we'll hide out in the private rooms  
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who  
They'll get you anything with that evil smile  
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial, well_**

**_Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar_**

**_I'm gonna sing those songs  
That offend the censors  
Gonna pop my pills from a pez dispenser_**

**_I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs  
lip sync 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong_**

**_And we'll hide out in the private rooms  
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who  
They'll get you anything with that evil smile  
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial_**

**_Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar  
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar  
_**

Closet Pervert: You scare me Twilight.

_Guy from Orphan School of Tough Learning has logged off_

Closet Pervert: Yay! How do you work in a C2?

Porny: You don't know baka?

Closet Pervert: Do you?

Porny: No...

Closet Pervert: Start running.

_Porny has logged off_

_Closet Pervert has logged off_

_Ezyl's Guy has logged off_

_The Tiny Walking Dictionary has logged on_

_Sake Guy has logged off_

_Ezyl's Guy's Girl has logged off_

_Peaceful Spotty Owl has logged off_

Snow Rose's Descendant: Bye! We'll be in the tree next week!

_Snow Rose's Descendant has logged off_


	10. Emergency Message!

Dear everyone,

There's not much time. I can't go on the internet anymore. If I come back, I'll private message to you if you want. Tell me in a review. My mom's so annoying!

Till then,

PT


	11. Chapter 10

PT: WELCOME TO GLAMOURA!

Porny: Not really.

PT smacks Porny.

Soren: We should do something new. Smacking each other is getting old.

"…"

PT and Pelli crack evil grins.

Soren (nervously): HUH?

PT and Pelli start slapping Soren.

PT and Pelli: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soren: NO! STOP SLAPPIN' ME!

Camera swings away.

Digger: Er… Ahem, today we have the Band, Pelli and Nyra.

Nyra: Our chick too.

Nyra lifts her wing. A little owl doll sewn together with leather.

PT comes up and sweatdrops.

PT: We just ripped off BoBoBoBoBoBoBoBo.

Nyra: You said an extra Bo.

PT: I did not say 'extra Bo'!

"…"

Digger: PT has high density. Plus, it is very _high._

"…"

PT smacks Digger.

PT: Anyway, sorry for our delay. I've managed to sneak back on the computer. HMPH! I NEVER GIVE UP! I'd like to thank everyone for their reviews and support of our fanfic. If I ever get delayed again, know this: I never leave a job unfinished! EVER! Anyway . . .

Nyra: Anyway, enough with your speech . . .

PT: I have a dream.

"…"

PT attempts to smack Nyra. They start playing tag.

"…"

Porny: Awkward silence.

"…"

Porny: SOMEBODY SAY SOMETHING!

PT: Sure, I'm writing GoGH crackfic called Playbird for the C2 I have joined, Crackfics Galore.

"…"

Pelli: Demi . . .

PT: Hai?

Pelli: Start . . . running.

PT: …

PT runs off, screaming like a little girl.

Porny: Er . . . first review?

Digger: From ezyl's girl:

_**[That was kinda weird...**_

Yami, I've seriously had enough of your stupid comments. Shut up before I before surgical removal with a chainsaw!

[Wow...didn't know you had it in you...

I have a new favorite Anime! Prince of Tennis...sure, the guys are all kinda GAY...prancing around and playing tennis, but they're SO CUTE! (Especially Eiji Kikumaru, he was crying over toothpaste...

[I'm suggesting that you shut up too sweatdrop

Ahem...I have a brother too. He's really annoying. Luckily he's four and can't bug me on FFN.

Question for Twilight: Sing "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles!

PT: And . . .

_**I read some of your brother's stories.**_

[OMG! I LOVE THEM!

She's being sarcastic.

[NO, REALLY? They're TRULY TERRIBLE, EVEN WHEN THEY'RE CRACKS...

Well, I wouldn't really say THAT...but I guess the swearing's kinda gone...overboard.

[TO SAY THE LEAST...

sweatdrop Shut up, Yami...

"…"

PT: OH! OH! MY ALTER EGO IS COMING OUT TOO! It says: I hate books. Books in half. Books on fire. Naruto is canceled. Masashi Kishimoto died. The internet was destroyed five seconds ago. If this was your dog, it'd be dead.

"…"

PT: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! GREAT STARCLAN! GREAT GLAUX! BY THE BLACK BLOOD OF HARNOAN OAN! CHARNA'S GUTS! RACDROPS! GREAT GHOST OF DASHI! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"…"

Porny: Oooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy . . .

"…"

Pelli: OMIGOSH! AN AWKWARD SILENCE!

"…"

Pelli: I don't see how Kikumaru is cute.

Porny: He's adorable!

"…"

Soren: Now I see how you're called Porny, my dear nephew.

"…"

Gylfie: He cried over . . . toothpaste?

"…"

PT: My brother's four years my junior . . . Or is he? Or is he not? Or is he? Or is he not? Or is he? Or is he not? Or is he? Or is he not?

Twilight: Alright shut up.

PT: I hate my brother. Plus, his stories suck. He's recently written a Bleach fic. I refused to upload it for him and he blackmailed me. That little . . . Here's the sucky story:

_**DIE OR ELSE ZANGETSU**_

_**One day Ichigo and Rukia came outside to talk to Orihime. But then a hollow came. But the hollow said 'I will your Zangetsu today. Ichigo was staring at the hollow because it was talking. I came by and I touched him but then……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………... **_

''…'' ''…'' _**Ichigo fell down. So then I took his sword but is was too heavy for me. I told the hollow to not break his sword. Then I shouted ''**__**ZANGETSU**__** in his ear. Ichigoed standed up and then fainted.**_

PT: Hm, he must have deleted the rest.

"…"

PT: Anyway Twilight! You're singing –

Twilight:

_**Head under water,**_

_**And they tell me to breathe easy for a while.**_

_**The breathing gets harder, even I know that.**_

_**You made room for me but it's too soon to see,**_

_**If I'm happy in your hands.**_

_**I'm unusually hard to hold on to.**_

_**Blank stares at blank pages.**_

_**No easy way to say this.**_

_**You mean well, but you make this hard on me.**_

_**I'm not gonna write you a love song,**_

_**'Cause you asked for it,**_

_**'Cause you need one, you see.**_

_**I'm not gonna write you a love song,**_

_**'Cause you tell me it's, **_

_**Make or breaking this.**_

_**If you're on your way,**_

_**I'm not gonna write you to stay.**_

_**If all you have is leaving,**_

_**I'm gonna need a better reason to write you a love song today.**_

_**Today.**_

_**I learned the hard way,**_

_**That they all say things you want to hear.**_

_**My heavy heart sinks deep down under you,**_

_**And your twisted words, your help just hurts.**_

_**You are not what I thought you were.**_

_**Hello to high and dry.**_

_**Convinced me to please you.**_

_**Made me think that I need this too.**_

_**I'm trying to let you hear me as I am.**_

_**I'm not gonna write you a love song,**_

_**'Cause you asked for it,**_

_**'Cause you need one, you see.**_

_**I'm not gonna write you a love song,**_

_**'Cause you tell me it's, **_

_**Make or breaking this.**_

_**If you're on your way,**_

_**I'm not gonna write you to stay.**_

_**If all you have is leaving,**_

_**I'm gonna need a better reason to write you a love song today.**_

_**Promise me you'll leave the light on,**_

_**To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone.**_

_**'Cause I believe there's a way you can love me because I say,**_

_**I won't write you a love song,**_

_**'Cause you asked for it,**_

_**'Cause you need one you see.**_

_**I'm not gonna write you a love song,**_

_**'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this.**_

_**Is that why you wanted a love song,**_

_**'Cause you asked for it,**_

_**'Cause you need one you see.**_

_**I'm not gonna write you a love song,**_

_**'Cause you tell me it's make or breaking this.**_

_**If you're on your way,**_

_**I'm not gonna write you to stay.**_

_**If your heart is nowhere in it,**_

_**I don't want it for a minute.**_

_**Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that there's a reason to,**_

_**Write you a love song today.**_

_**Today.**_

"…"

PT: Dude, you sing real badly. It was flat.

Twilight: I'M A SINGER! YAY! DATTEBAYO!

"…"

PT: I never thought an owl would scare me this way.

"…"

Digger: What d'ya wanna do?

PT: Kill you?

Digger: I mean aside from that.

Twilight: . . . Gylf, this song is dedicated to you.

"…"

Gylfie: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Twilight: Gylf.

"…"

PT: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone else: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PT: THANKS EVERYONE! I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW! Next review from Adderstar of Valoclan. Oh heheh. I'm writing a Warriors fic and I'm using the first part of her name for an OC cat. It's going to be Adderpaw, an apprentice. If that's okay with her.

"…"

Everyone else: STOP ADVERTISING YOUR FICS!

PT: EY! EY! THAT'S MY SECOND BEST FANFIC!

"…"

PT: Er . . . Anyway, here's her review:

_**Twilight: Have you ever played Guitar Hero I? If you have, have you beaten "Through the Fire and Flames" on Expert mode? If you haven't, I dont care. Neither have I. Also, can you sing "Through the Fire and Flames"? It's by Dragonforce. :) Dragonforce rules.**_

Otulissa: You're smart, right? Well, then. You should play Portal! Also, have you played Myst? I don't think even you could finish that game.

PT: You will only get this if you know what Portal is. THE CAKE IS A LIE! do you like cake?

Twilight: No, I've never played it. What's Guitar Hero?

PT: Just sing, baka.

Twilight:

_**On a cold winter morning, in the time before the light,  
In flames of death's eternal reign, we ride towards the fight.  
When the darkness has fallen down, and the times are tough all right.  
The sound of evil laughter falls around the world tonight.**_

Fighting hard, fighting on for the steel, through the wastelands evermore,   
The scattered souls will feel the hell, bodies wasted on the shore.  
On the blackest plains in Hell's domain, we watch them as they go,  
Through fire and pain, and once again we know...

So now we're flying we're free, we're free before the thunderstorm,  
On towards the wilderness, our quest carries on.  
Far beyond the sundown, far beyond the moonlight,  
Deep inside our hearts and all our souls...

So far away we wait for the day,  
For the lives all so wasted and gone;  
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days-  
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

As the red day is dawning, and the lightning cracks the sky,  
They'll raise their hands to the heavens above with resentment in their eyes.  
Running back through the midmorning light, there's a burning in my heart;  
We're banished from a time in a fallen land, to a life beyond the stars.

In your darkest dreams see to believe, our destiny is time,  
And endlessly we'll all be free tonight...!

And on the wings of a dream, so far beyond reality;  
All alone in desperation, now the time has gone.   
Lost inside you'll never find, lost within my own mind,  
Day after day this misery must go on!

So far away we wait for the day,  
For the lives all so wasted and gone,  
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days,  
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

Now here we stand with their blood on our hands,  
We fought so hard now can we understand  
Ill break the seal of this curse if i possibly can  
For freedom of every man!

So far away we wait for the day,  
For the lives all so wasted and gone,  
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days,   
Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

PT: Oh crap, you just ruined the song with your yowling.

"…"

PT: WELL! LET'S SEE THE OH SO GREAT OTULISSA ANSWER THE QUESTION!

"…"

Otulissa (nervously): I've played Myst and . . .

Gylfie: What?

Otulissa: I was beaten on the first level.

"…"

PT: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! SO THAT'S YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS!? YOU CAN'T EVEN GET THROUGH ONE LEVEL OF A VIDEO GAME!?!?!??! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

Otulissa smacks PT.

PT: YOU'RE MORE PATHETIC THAN ME! Oh . . . wait, that came out wrong.

Digger: Rip-off.

PT: Okay, I've never played Portal and the only video games I've heard of are Final Fantasy, the Sonic stuff, some other random things based on anime, manga, movies and books but that's all. I've never played video games in my life, just a few times. I used to play them more when I was still a toddler but the only way to play video games now is at Circuit City.

Otulissa: Man, you suck.

PT: Shut up, Miss I Can't Even Pass Through The First Level Of A Video Game.

Otulissa smacks PT.

PT: Anyway, I read a little about Portal. WHO WOULD GO THROUGH ALL THAT FOR CAKE ANYWAY?!!?!? THAT'S STUPID!

Porny: Me like cake.

Soren: Me going to shove a spoon down your throat if you don't shut up.

"…"

PT: Anyway, next review from Ih8Bush. Yeah, I hate Bush too. HE'S STARTED A WAR BECAUSE HE LOVES OIL! HOLY SHIT, THAT'S STUPID!!!!!!!!

Gylfie: Vote for Obama.

Otulissa: Hillary.

PT: Alright, here's a warning to all you racists out there: If Obama becomes president, don't you dare assassinate him. He came to our country in a time of need. I'll not stand it if he's killed just because he was brave enough to try to help our country in spite of the slander his race has to bear. Who cares if he's black? I'm mainland Chinese myself and I've had to face tons of racism for it. FUCK YOU, JOHN LIU! FUCK ALL THE REST OF YOU PEOPLE WHO ARE RACISTS FOR NO GOOD REASON! I mean, I have a friend who feels hostile to Mandarin people. It's because they're mostly snobby jerks in her life. Yet, she's nice to me, because she pushed aside the fact that I'm Mandarin. She says I'm not snobby in that sense. Well, I grew up without caring about anything to do with racism so yeah . . . Besides, I didn't even know there were two kinds of Chinese until sometime in late elementary school. It was just Chinese to me. Whatever, so I HATE racism. My own race hates the Japanese. Well, mostly the older ones but we kids don't have anything to hold. Sure, they did many evil things in the past, the Chinese too, but they're learning from their mistakes. Look at my grandparents; my grandpa lived during WW2 and he was in the army. I don't know much, but he was living that time and he scorns racism. I have a Japanese friend and we used to be close. We almost had the same birthday. Growing up drove us apart, though. Geez, in my hometown, there's a constant racism war. Plus, I met a Chinese guy working in a nearby Chinese restaurant. He had worked in Japan for two years and he knew Japanese.

Otulissa: Must you give a long, serious speech for every chapter?

PT: RACISM DISGUSTS ME!

Gylfie: We know, but the questions . . .?

PT: By the way, why do Canadians and Americans . . . act not very nice to each other?

Otulissa: Beats me, but you have relatives there. Your new cousin has a huge forehead.

PT: True.

Twilight: BODDA BABABA! I'M LOVING IT! THE GREAT OTULISSA NOT KNOWING! YAY!

"…"

Otulissa smacks Twilight.

PT: Here's the review:

_**hey Nyra did do thwe "worm" with the muffin man  
oh and the records I'M A GIRL**_

"…"

PT: Oops, sorry.

Nyra: I didn't do –

Twilight: I saw you! You were –

Long beep comes on.

Pelli: How did you happen to see it then?

"…"

Twilight: NEXT QUESTION! NEXT QUESTION!

PT: Oooooooooooooooooo. A new reviewer, Alex Romanov. Hi! Here are his two reviews:

_**Lol this is a funny FF, and i have a question for all the owls, Why dont you use guns? I mean battle claws are cool and all but with a gun you dont have to even get close! also i think you should replace slapping people with another running gag like like kicking them in the crotch! And do you know if i could guest star? I need to use my new toy! pulls out huge gattling gun, and...evil voice if you do not comply with all my wishes i will vaporise the great tree with my orbiting Ion Cannon Satillite! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

(p.s. you should have Command and Conquer Characters guest star)

_**Also I have another question, why do you insist on calling coryn porny? (or whatever your calling him now) and do you know otulissa is on the cover of Playbird magazine, and is cheating with Coryn?  
Also i have nukes aimed at the tree and a army of Apocalypse Tanks at Cape Glaux if my demands in my last thing are not met.**_

PT: Arigatou gozaimasu.

Subtitles: Thank you (formal).

"…"

Twilight: What are guns?

Pelli: I like eggs.

Twilight kicks Pelli from behind.

"…"

Porny peaks out at the outside.

Porny: OMIFRINKINGOSH! WE'RE UNDER SEIGE!

Pelli: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! ONLY EGGS CAN SAVE ME NOW!

Twilight: Here's a grenade.

Pelli mishears and takes it.

Pelli: Okay, a green egg.

Pelli goes into another hollow to eat it.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone stares at Twilight.

Twilight: What? I had to get rid of her!

Porny: Pelli sleeps wit da fishes.

"…"

Porny: Yay! She's dead! . . . I mean – er . . .

Gylfie: How about 'Oh no, my dear aunt is dead?'

Porny: Thanks. OH NO! MY SORT OF DEAR, REALLY STUPID AUNT IS DEAD!

"…"

PT: Coryn is called Porny because he's horny and porny. Thousands of eyewitnesses have seen him doing things such as 'prancing about in a skirt on the lawn' and –

Long beep comes on.

PT: Otulissa is on Playbird? OMG! LEMME SEE!

Soren hands her the latest issue. Otulissa is midway through stripping on the cover.

Everyone besides Soren and Otulissa: O/.\O

Otulissa: Tha – That's – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Otulissa faints.

PT: Let Alex in! LET ALEX IN!

Alex comes in. He shoots . . . a dry caterpillar.

Soren: NO! NOT THE DRY THINGY!

Everyone else: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"…"

Alex leaves.

PT: Awkward. Aaaaaaaaaaanyway, here's a new review from Inglantine, who has changed her name to Narutoboylover212:

_**lol! roflol! okay, be4 i die, Kludd, do u still have your three heads?**_

Nyra: YES, BUT THEY'RE DEAD! THANK THE STUPID, CERTAIN GIANT GRAY OWL FOR KILLING OFF KLUDD AND HISS THREE HEADS!

Twilight: Shut up, you cretin.

Porny: Are you a snake, mum?

"…"

PT: Er . . . Here's to I-Heart-Werewolves! Here:

_**NO! starts sobbing Why, Why, WHY:'(**_

PT: Oh, this was about my note about no internet connection. Well, never fear, coz I never leave something like this undone! EVER! Even if it takes to break house rules! Don't worry! I might to be able to update back on schedule sometime next week! It's my other fics that need worrying about, though. I've missed updating on my Darren Shan Saga story.

Porny: Oh yeah, that thing about demons –

PT: That would be Demonata, smart one. The Darren Shan Saga is about vampires.

Porny: Oh . . .

PT: Last review . . . OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Anonymous! Here it is:

_**Hi PT,  
I read your guardians of ga'hoole interview fan fic.  
I never saw the characters in the way I see them now...  
Anyway, I loved the fic! Please continue it!  
BTW if you continue it, can you bring some HARRY POTTER characters? If you do, PWESE bring in Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and their kids. Thx in advance!**_

PT: I'll never leave a fic lingering without a completion! Arigatou gozaimasu.

PT bows.

PT: Plus, I'll consider everyone's votes. Oh yeah! By the way, it's late and the weather's awful outside. The wind's still howling like it's retarded or something.

Soren: Retarded wind . . .?

PT: Don't ask.

Otulissa waves.

Otulissa: Bye everyone! Expect us at some point next week!

Otulissa turns around and kicks Twilight.

The camera shuts down.


	12. Chapter 11

PT: In this unlimited world --

Porny: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

PT: STFU.

Porny: Huh?

PT: PWND!

"..."

PT: I'm praying for someone to review my Sarah Dessen fanfic!

"..."

PT: Hey! You're supposed to yell at me!

"..."

PT: Pfft. Fine, ignore me.

"..."

Porny: We are gathered here today to ANSWER QUESTIONS! TODAY, WE HAVE THE BAND, OTULISSA, SOREN, NYRA AND ME!

PT: QUIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"..."

PT: Dum-Dum want to speak.

Porny: Oh, great. Now you're jacking off Night At The Museum. Second of all, you stretched the page. Don't do that.

PT: Oh, by the way, people, most of the cracks in this story are inspiration from real life from mostly experience with my friends or exactly the same things.

Nyra: That's nice, deary.

"..."

PT: I'm gonna ignore that. Oh, by the way, I've taken an interest in Death Note.

"..."

PT: What?

Otulissa: Nothing . . .

PT: Anyway! Here's the review from Adderstar of Valorclan:

_**Sure you can use the name. What's the fic title? I WANNA READ IT! **_

_**Request for Twilight to sing: "DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?" I think the video's on if you haven't seen it. Also known as the Waffle Song**_

PT: Oh, thanks. The fic is called Jaypaw's Quest. There are spoilers for Firestar's Quest. The fic is kinda pathetic at first, but I think it improves along the way.

Porny: Oh great. Now someone actually wants a fic advertisement. I'm leaving.

Porny holes up in a random hole.

PT: Hey Twilight! I love the Waffle Song! Sing it!

Twilight:

**_DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?_**

**_YEAH WE LIKE WAFFLES!_**

**_DO YOU LIKE PANCAKES?_**

**_YEAH WE LIKE PANCAKES!_**

**_DO YOU LIKE FRENCH TOAST?_**

**_YEAH WE LIKE FRENCH TOAST!_**

**_DODODODO CAN'T WAIT TO GET A MOUTHFUL!_**

**_WAFFLES!_**

**_WAFFLES!_**

**_WAFFLES!_**

**_WAFFLES!_**

**_DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?_**

**_YEAH WE LIKE WAFFLES!_**

**_DO YOU LIKE PANCAKES?_**

**_YEAH WE LIKE PANCAKES!_**

**_DO YOU LIKE FRENCH TOAST?_**

**_YEAH WE LIKE FRENCH TOAST!_**

**_DODODODO CAN'T WAIT TO GET A MOUTHFUL!_**

PT: YOU JUST HAD TO SCREAM THE SONG OUT, DIDYA!?

Twilight: YUP!

PT: Oh, my bro's here, let him say something!

Henry comes in.

Henry: Hi there!As you see I like games and going to school.Uhhhh...never mind.Well my rival is next.

PT: Shuddup. That really was him, because his literature sucks.tgcrf Hey! Henry! Don't you pre6fvfrtgvxcfgtdxexfdrxcf fdjhbndshw STOP UHJDVW BCF3G4FTRT STOP PRESSINvfefaA on the KEYBOARD!

Henry:Sorry thats not true and my rival is annoying.

PT:gxwtbgjbyrfhkuvfchrejhvehunrvehurhcrelhbevglnhcncvnvbWHAT!!!!!!!

PT: HEY! YOUR5T DG6GFNJ7FMB CAN'T WRBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB WRITE THAT THING ABOVE UNDER MY NAME!b cHBYBHY

PT seethes.

PT: STOP PRESSING THE KEYS WHILE I TYPE!

Henry leaves.

PT: I swear, that gaki is so . . .

Porny: HERE'S TO EZYL'S GIRL!

**_Kore wa...kore wa...wow. This chapter had so many references! Does LittleKuriboh write this show or something?  
JK.  
[Hn. PT, for once, you've gone overboard. And you should be honored that Connie is actually COMPARING you to LK. _**

_**YAMI! STOP IT! I'll...I'll rip out your esophagus and feed it to you if you don't...**_

_**[There we go again...**_

_**Can't think of any questions at the moment. Just wanted to write a review.**_

_**OH YEAH! That was some speech you gave. I agree to racism. Just because I'm Asian and skipped a grade in math, people automatically think I have abusive asian parents (which I don't, BTW).**_

_**[More like ASS-ian...**_

_**SHUT THE FUCK UP, YAMI.**_

_**[Hey, there's no need for that kinda language...**_

PT: Yeah, shut up Yami. OH! My alter ego's saying something! He says: Ganging up, eh?

"..."

PT: SHUT THE FUCK UP, EGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"..."

Otulissa: Tsk, tsk. Talking to yourself again?

"..."

PT kicks Otulissa.

Soren: Narutoboylover212:

_**alright, gives box this is for Otulissa, it is the easyest game ever! she should be able to beat level 1. aand my q for Otulissa: how many books do you read a week?**_

Otulissa: Okay! I'll play!

Otulissa sits down and starts playing.

PT: By the way, Otulissa, how many books do you read a week? I need a more challenging reader rival.

Otulissa: 2,000

"..."

PT: Er . . . Excuse me for a moment.

PT leaves for the library, muttering about reading more books.

Nyra: Next question from I-Heart-Werewolves:

_**COOL! You used my mafia line::wipes away tear:: Thank you, thank you so much, I wanna thank my parents and my cat and- Oh wait, this isn't the grammys... oops... um... HEY! Ya know how people ask you to bring characters from other stuff as guest thingermerbobbers? Well, why don't you do that with... THE LOST BOYS! And you're probably all like "Who's that?" They're vampires, very cool and awesome and HOTT vampires at that! They're from a movie called 'The Lost Boys' ::nods wisely:: It's a movie from 1987 ::nods wisely again:: It would be awesome if you brought them in, if you don't know who they are then... :gasp: BRING IN SOME SLASHERS! Everyone watches slasher movies, right?? Preferably Michael Myers, Freddy Kruger, Jason Voorhees and, maybe, Candyman... Cause they're the bestest! I'd laugh if you'd never heard of ANYONE I'm talking about right now :P But then I'd also be sad cause you wouldn't bring them in... :( And now I'm ranting... I ALWAYS DO THAT::slaps self:: STOP IT! STOP IT! BAD GIRL! NO HORROR MOVIES! But I just rented a whole bunch! THAT'S TOO BAD YOUNG LADY! But me... NO BUTS! GO TO YOUR ROOM! But I have to finish this review! And I'm already in my room! ... ::cough:: Um... anyway... OH! Make Twilight sing something! Everyone makes Twilight sing stuff so why not me::gasp:: Have him sing... Beat It by Michael Jackson! That's one of my favourite songs! No wait! He should sing... Barney's On Fire by Weird Al Yankovic! That's ALSO one of my favourite songs! XD This is probably the longest review I've ever written :P Seriously, I write SHORT reviews... Here comes security! (Alright I'm leaving you stupid, fat security guard! Unhand me! GAH! HI-YAH!::beats up fat security guard::) OK, took care of him, but I should go now... FINALLY! XP TOODLES!**_

Nyra: Oh, PT likes Beat It. Thriller scares her, but she likes Beat It. Oh, by the way, Demi has a crush on a guy in her class. She's only recently started liking him and she's still damning her hormones. He's this Italian dude who's got long hair. He's famous for it. He doesn't like his name, so everyone calls him by his initials. He's --

PT pokes her head in.

PT: My name's not Demi or PT, it's Temari.

Gylfie: Demi?

PT: What?

"..."

PT leaves.

Twilight:

_**They told him don't you ever come around here  
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear  
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear  
So beat it, just beat it **_

_**You better run, you better do what you can  
Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man  
You wanna be tough, better do what you can  
So beat it, but you wanna be bad**_

_**Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it  
Just beat it, beat it**_

_**They're out to get you, better leave while you can  
Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man  
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can  
So beat it, just beat it**_

_**You have to show them that you're really not scared  
You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare  
They'll kick you, then they beat you,  
Then they'll tell you it's fair  
So beat it, but you wanna be bad**_

_**Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right**_

_**Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right**_

_**Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Beat it, beat it, beat it**_

_**Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right**_

_**Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right**_

_**Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right  
Just beat it, beat it  
Beat it, beat it, beat it**_

_**Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right**_

_**Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right**_

_**Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight  
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right**_

_**Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it  
No one wants to be defeated  
Just beat it, beat it  
Beat it, beat it, beat it**_

PT pokes head in.

PT: SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO READ HERE!

Twilight: BEAT IT!

PT: I've only heard of one of the slashers. Cool suggestions! Yes, the mafia line's yours.

PT kicks Twilight and leaves.

Twilight: Ow . . .

"..."

Gylfie: Kill him, kill him, Kill him, kill him, Kill him, kill him . . .

Twilight:

_**Happened one day in the studio**_

**_Dancing around in a dosey do._**

**_The purple monstrosity was waving his arms_**

**_We were falling bacon to his evil charm_**

_**He brushed against a candle and he started to smoke**_

_**  
And now we're all laughing at the dinosaur joke**_

_**Oh boy, Barney's on fire!  
**_

_**It's what we've always desired  
**_

_**We'll watch the flames get higher  
**_

_**Just don't try to put him out**_

**_Purple fur was flying ashes everywhere_**

**_And all of the kids just continued to stare_**

**_The guy inside the suit, he started to yell_**

**_We probably should've helped him but what the hell_**

**_He threw himself violently against the wall_**

**_He fell to his knees and he tried to crawl away_**

_**Oh Boy, Barney's on fire!  
**_

_**This is our secret desire  
**_

_**We'll help the flames burn brighter  
**_

_**But don´t you try to put him out**_

Barney appears.

Barney:_** I love you...you love me**_

Barney screams.

Twilight:

**_Oh boy, Barney's on fire!_**

**_This is what we've always desired_**

**_Won't you help us fan the flames higher_**

**_And you better not try to put him out_**

_**Barney's no longer ignited  
**_

_**We're feeling somewhat slighted  
**_

_**He's laying in a heap on the floor  
**_

_**We poked him with a stick cause we had to be sure he was dead**_

"..."

PT pokes head in.

PT: Okay, why does everyone think it's cold in Canada all the time? Why do people think they're always saying 'eh' and why so people think they're crazy about hockey, maple syrup and everything else?

"..."

Otulissa (not looking up from her game): I've no idea.

PT: It gets creepily hot in the summer and I've been there once in the winter. All the other times, summer. In the winter, it was warm and my rabbit survived it.

Otulissa: WAIT! YOU HAVE A PET RABBIT?!?!

PT: Used to. I've no idea what happened to it. It lived in Canada only.

Video Game: KO. You lose. Care to try again?

Otulissa: DAMMIT! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO JUMP THE LUMP!

"..."

Otulissa: It was curvy, there were two and -

PT: Shuddup. Get back to your game.

Otulissa starts playing again.

PT goes back to the library.

Twilight: Here's the next question from the Alex Romanov:

Hey anothe nice chapter and heres some more questions and comments!

**_WHY DID YOU MAKE ME SHOOT A CR DRIED UP HALF EATEN CATERPILLER THAT DIGGER PEEDED ON?  
Activates angry Soren shield  
And PT, about everyone seeing Coryn dressed up as a girl? I dont think you disguied as Coryn with your Skirt on counts, AND FOR GLAUX SAKE STOP PUTTING CRACK AND Hullicinogenic(misspelled) DRUGS IN CORYN"S MILKBERRY TEA!  
Ahem  
And Otulissa, come by my house some time and I might be able to help you with your "Condition"(referring to the fact that she sucks at video games).  
After finding out that Otulissa was on playbird i did a little more research and it turns out that Gylfie was supposed to be on the cover of Playbird, they had her strip and everything but they refused to put her on the cover after they found out she ate a dictionary, I took the the liberty to attach the pictures to this message. Well thats it for now but i would like to remind you that my army is still at Cape Glaux and V3 long range ballistic missile launchers have been added to there ranks so it would be in your best intrest to to get me mad, and just for the heck of it-  
fires a missile at Ezylryb's old hollow  
The missle should hit when you read this message SEEYA!!  
This message will self destruct in 5, 4, 3_**

Twilight: GAH!

Twilight throws the message out of the hollow. It hits the missle and . . .

Soren: Ezylryb's hollow is saved!

Otulissa: Whuh?

"..."

Digger: You little game nerd.

Otulissa keeps on playing.

Digger: You know, there are still troops.

"..."

PT comes in.

PT: Okay, you can come in again if you want.

"..."

PT: By the way, Digger peed on the caterpillar?

Digger: Uh . . . Er . . . No . . .

"..."

PT: Lying through your teeth, my little Digger.

"..."

PT: By the way, the manager of Crackfics Galore . . . Well, her Yami side said something about Digger prancing about on the front lawn in a skirt. I would never wear skirts, blouses and/or dresses. Ew!

Digger: EW! IT'S YOU! IT'S REALLY YOU!

"..."

PT: I hate Led Zeppelin.

"..."

PT: No offence to anyone.

Otulissa: Huh?

"..."

PT: Okay, Otulissa, you -

Otulissa: NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I WAS BEATEN ON THE SECOND LEVEL! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

"..."

PT: As I was saying, go over to Alex Romanov's house. He can help you with video games.

Otulissa: Okay!

Otulissa rushes out.

"..."

PT: You think she's gonna dump Cleve, now?

"..."

Porny and Digger: Leave the members alone.

PT: HYPOCRITES! YOU BOTH DID -

Veeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryy long beep comes on.

"..."

Nyra: Ew.

PT: Plus, Porny, I thought you were in the hole.

"..."

PT: Gah! Okay, let's say I didn't drug Porny.

"..."

Everyone stares suspiciously.

PT: Ahem . . . Gylfie . . . You're part of Playbird.

"..."

Gylfie: Hmph! Abysmal alibi in making me look abysmal!

"..."

Soren: Here's the latest issue.

Holds up new Playbird. Nyra and Otulissa on the cover. PT flips through pages. Finds a picture of Gylfie in The Hall of Shame section.

"..."

Gylfie faints.

"..."

PT: Er . . . GOTTA GO NOW! BYE!

PT races out with a nosebleed.

"..."

Porny: Aren't awkward silences just awesome?

"..."

Porny: I love you all.

"..."

Porny: Hello.

"..."

Porny: WOOT!

"..."

Porny: . . .

"..."

Porny: Here's the next review from Ih8Bush:

_**Otulissa how can you play Myst it's like Star Wars on LSD or somthing Specking of Star War Who in the group likes it**_

Porny: I hate it.

Twilight: I LUV IT!

Nyra: BADA BABABA! I'M -

Soren: LUVIN' IT!

"..."

Otulissa: Hmm . . . I love every game I play.

PT: GET OUT!

PT kicks Otulissa out of the tree.

Twilight: BEAT IT!

Twilight kicks PT into the library.

Pelli suddenly appears.

Pelli: Hope you will like next week's chapter! Demi has decided on the new guests! BYE!

Soren: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AREN'T YOU DEAD?!!?

Pelli: I heart green eggs.

"..."

Camera shuts down.


	13. Chapter 12

Porny is all alone dancing in the Great Hollow.

Porny: I've been working on the railroad! All the long, long day! I've been working on the railroad and--

PT comes out holding a video recorder.

PT: Man, this'll be great on Youtube!

"..."

Porny: You don't have a Youtube account.

PT: I signed up! HAHA! Oh, by the way, watch the Youtube vid called MS74 703. That's my class, on our trip to the play. Like, OMG! There're all my classmates. My classmate, Jelani, commented on the vid and then I commented! My name is cannisterkid!

Porny: I thought that was Connie's.

PT: Well, I added 'kid' to the end. Connie's is cannister. I was kind of desperately typing in names and none of them worked. I just typed in cannisterkid and it was available. So then, when I got in, I thought I could change the name, but I was wrong, dammit.

Porny: HAHA!

PT: Hm, there were more members from my school than I thought. Anyway! I might just post you on Youtube!  
Porny: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Owls come in.

PT: By the way, people! It's March, so I start going to the smaller library now! Hip, hip!

"..."

PT: AHEM. Well, today we have the Band! Our little Porny! Otulissa! Nyra! Pelli! The three B's! Hooray!

"..."

Digger: Aren't awkward silences just plain awesome?

"..."

Digger: I've been--

PT kicks Digger.  
PT: Anyway, first question is from Alex Romanov:

**_And yet, another great chapter.  
In case anyone wants to know i put a chip in Otulissa's brain to make her better at games and also for -cough-mind control-cough-...any way from what i hear Digger's been "playing" with the three Bs again if you know what i mean, and i learned  
that PT is afraid of the dark -kekekekeke-. And did you know that Ezylrib want out with Otulissa even though she was much younger then him? And my army is gettig bored so i gave them some fireworks  
-lauches 20 V3 missles at the great tree-  
they should be ariving when you get this message-kekekekekekek-  
Seeya later!  
-makes Otulissa make out with PT--kekekekekeke-  
-this message will make Pelli fart in 5-4-3-2-1.5-  
OH and before i go you should have characters from Tsubasa guest star, well bye!  
-1-_**

Otulissa and PT are making out.

Pelli is farting.

Pelli: AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!

Throws grenades out the hollow.

Pelli: NO! MY GREEN EGGS!

"..."

Twilight: Good news.

Soren: The Great Tree is saved!

Pelli sobs.

Pelli: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, my green eggs, nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

"..."

Porny: Ooooooooooooooo, fireworks in the sky.

PT: OMG! A smiling, talking lion!  
Points at a TV screen that suddenly appeared. It's playing 'Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe'. Aslan is coming out of the tent.

"..."

PT: Oh, by the way, last Saturday, there was a lesson in a class about bravery. This one kid talked about tripping over a tree root once when he tried to punch someone. Plus, there was a discussion about Michael Jackson.

"..."

PT: Will you believe what they said!? They were like: People found out there's something wrong with Michael because he turned his face white. After he did that, people thought he was a little wrong. He also touched little boys. Only, he got off because he was famous. If someone else who was not famous touched little boys, they would be guilty.

"..."

Porny: Okkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy...

PT: By the way, I was going to the nearby public pool and I saw my classmate! I was like "HI BRANDON!" and I ran away.

"..."

Porny: Weirdo.

PT: HI PORNY!!

PT runs away.

"..."

Soren: HEY! Doesn't anyone care that Digger's been PLAYING with my daughters!?

"..."

Soren puts on a pink, frilly tutu and starts dancing and singing a song from '1776'.

Soren:

_**Is anybody there?**_

_**Does anybody care!?**_

Twilight (whispering to Gylfie): Not really.

Soren:

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

Twilight (whispering to Gylfie again): What DOES he see?

Soren:

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

**_Does anybody see what I see?_**

Porny: SHUT THE HELL UP! WE DON'T CARE! YOU WASTED THE PAGE TOO!!

Digger jumps up and hugs Soren. He rips the tutu and cuddles.

Digger: Oh yeah...

"..."

Subtitles: And people figured that Digger was a little wrong in the head because he touched little girls and big boys...owls...

Porny: Er... Hang on, please stand by.

Giant screen comes up.

Giant screen disappears.

PT: Let me tell you, this kid in my class found a dead squirrel and he kept on poking it with a stick and blood bubbles came out of its nose and mouth every time. Plus, he mentioned his grandpa was 'a little stupid in the head and took a walk at 3 AM every day'. I found a dead pigeon today and I could see the whites of its eyes--

Porny: Ahem.

PT: OH! RIGHT, THE REVIEWS! Oh, by the way, where can I watch Liberty's Kids on the internet? I don't have cable anymore and there's nothing on Youtube.

"..."

PT: Also, I think I 'accidentally' spiked Digger's drink with sake again.

Porny: I'll ignore that. Here's to Narutoboylover121:

_**I LOVE THESE FANFICS!! give Otulissa this wii, and this Naruto game. q for Bell: how is it like having two sisters? I don't have any sibblings so I wanna see your opinion.**_

Bell: Well, they aren't the annoying kind, we usually just play together. We're actually okay with each other and we're really close.

PT: Bell, you're lucky. My disowned idiot of a bro is THE MOST ANNOYING STONE THAT EVER INVADED MY SHOE!!

Otulissa sits down and starts playing the Naruto game on the Wii.

PT: Er... Is anybody there?

"..."

Twilight: NO.

"..."

PT: Er... There was a perv in the locker room today?!

"..."

Nyra: Not asking.

Pelli: Er... Here's another review from ezyl's girl, who will not give me green eggs:

_**wow...this is getting randomer and randomer...  
I LIKE DEATH NOTE TOO! Light's really hot!Really? I think he's gay, what with him and L always snarling down eachother's backs...Oh, and did u kno that Connie's from Canada? She lives in Alber-Shuddup, Yami.Question for Gylfie: Could you swallow the encyclopedia next? I need something interesting for my crackfic.BTW, PT. Have you read my crackfic?There she goes, advertising her fics again...KIKUMARU BEAM!**_

Pelli: GIMME GREEN EGGS AND HAM!!

PT: No, girl, no one will give you green eggs and ham.

"..."

PT: For some reason, I like L a lot. Plus, Near's got a weird Japanese voice. Is he played by a girl?

"..."

Porny: I'M SOULJA BOY! SOULJA BOY IS A HOE! WAMME CRANK DAT, WAMME ROLL!!

PT kicks Porny in the crotch.

PT: SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHY ARE YOU RIPPING OFF MY SATURDAY CLASS?! GEEZ, HAVE YOU BEEN STALKING ME!?

PT eyes him suspiciously.

"..."

Porny jumps up and cuddles the dry, half-eaten-by-Nyra, peed-on-by-Digger, shot-by-Alex caterpillar.

"..."

Soren: Dude, that's just wrong.

"..."

Soren: Plain wrong.

PT: I didn't know that Connie's from Canada. Cool! I love Canadians! Just like how Ali loves Chinese people! LOL!

Gylfie swallows a random encyclopedia.

PT: HEY! THAT'S MY ONLY ENCYCLOPEDIA AND ONE OF MY BEST NON-CHAPTER BOOKS! YOU BITCH!!

Gylfie: Lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.

PT: DAMMIT! NOW YOU DO SOMETHING TO THE PAGE!!

"..."

Pelli: Ow, my ears, my beautiful ears.

PT: Ear SLITS, baka. By the way, we're studying that theoreum thing in math. We had to listen to some Simpson thing. Homer was talking real fast about some isosceles triangle and some other guy's like "That's a RIGHT triangle, you idiot!" and Homer's like "DOH!"

"..."

Bash: Are you okay, Grandma?

Blythe (to Bash): Are you okay for asking that question?

PT: By the way, that crackfic was FUNNY! Bulldozer, lawl.

B's: Huh?

PT: Lol.

B's: ??

Soren: Here's from Adderstar of Valorclan:

_**Hey, Twilight, have you ever tried writing, i dunno, classical music instead of raps?AOV's alter ego, Cthulhu: BLASPHEMY! BLASPHEMY BLASPHEMY BLASPHEMY!SHUT UP, CTHULHU! Hey, wait a minute, you're not my alter ego, you're my Happy Tree Friends villain-OC! GET OUT OF THIS REVIEW!Cthulhu: MAKE ME!Me: SECURITY!(Cthulhu is tackled by a group of angry Happy Tree Friends characters)Wow! Sorry about that. Gylfie, do you know the word for "fear of houses or being in a house"?**_

PT: Hey, Twilight, what's classical music?

Twilight: I don't know. I'm an emo nu muffin and a heavy metal rocker, 'member? I'm more emo too.

PT: ...Well, that answers our question, my Sasuke-wannabe friend.

Twilight: ??

PT: Kakashi's hair defies gravity.

"..."

PT: IRISH SODA BREAD!

Subtitles: Ever since a party at school had a classmate bring in Irish soda bread, PT's been obsessed.

Twilight: I'll write classical music right now!

Twilight sits down and starts writing.

PT: Wow.

Gylfie: Domatophobia.

PT: Wowie. Happy Tree must be really riding these days.

"..."

Soren: I'll not ask.

PT: Here, from ezyl's girl:

_**Oh, and, did u kno that there's this odd-pairing fanfic writer for anime, called "peridot scarves"? I really like her EijiTomo pairing for Prince of u kno wut u said here is rather random...Udusai, Yami!**_

PT: Damn, I'll translate for myself later. Peridot scarves? Weird... RANDOMNESS OF THE WORLD ROCKS MINE! Now, Gar-Gar:

_**tou are to blame!**_

"..."

Soren: For what?

PT: Last, chapter, he pressed my keyboard. I'll kick his ass. HAHA! HE GOT A TYPO! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Soren: Where is Digger anyway?

PT: In the looney bin, surrounded by rubber.

Soren: THAT GIRL BELONGS TO THE LOONEY BIN!!

"..."

PT: Er...here's a last review from Anonymous:

_**I have some Qs that need answering!  
Twilight:Can you sing the Barney song?  
Gyfie:What does an encyclopedia taste like?  
Nyra:Did you give Kludd some sort of love potion?  
Pelli:What do green eggs taste like?  
Coryn:hands him drugs that he ordered When are you going to give me the Ember of Hoole in exchange?  
Soren:Did you know that Pelli was on Playbird magasine for 146 issues in a row? And how do you feel about that?**_

Twilight: First of all, here's my classical music!

Twilight:

**_Emo is cool_**

**_Obey your parents and follow your dreams_**

**_Nyra's hot_**

Nyra kicks Twilight.

Nyra: WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!

Twilight:

**_I love you, you love me_**

**_We're best friends and family_**

**_With a great, big hug and a kiss from me to you_**

Twilight tries to hug Nyra. Nyra kicks him. Twilight faints.

Nyra: I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

Twilight and Nyra:

**_Won't you say you love me too!_**

Nyra: Are you sure you don't want to come out of the closet?

PT: Dude, we've ripped off the kill Barney stuff on Youtube.

Nyra: Oh well.

Gylfie: An encyclopedia tastes like the rice they serve at PT's school.

PT: Whoa.

Nyra: I just borrowed some potion from Harry Potter on owl post! I still have it.

PT: Where is it?

Nyra: NOT AVAILABLE!!

"..."

Pelli: Green eggs taste like candy.

"..."

Porny: Drugs... Beautiful drugs. I might hand to ember at some point.

Porny mails it.

"..."

Soren: You just did something that stupid?

PT: Is that really a surprise?

Soren: Wait...

Takes out Playbird.

Soren: OMFG! PELLI! YOU'RE IN IT! ACCORDING TO THE HALL OF FAME, YOU'VE BEEN IN IT 146 ISSUES IN A ROW!

Soren faints with a nosebleed. The blood starts to destroy the camera.

PT: We're going to starr Harry Potter! Till next week!

Camera breaks.


	14. Chapter 13

PT: Hmmm... What to say, what to say... Oh yeah! WE NEED MORE REVIEWS, PEOPLE!! WE ONLY GOT TWO THIS WEEK!!

Porny: Er... Can we get to the reviews already?

PT: Hai, here we are! We have the Band! Porny! Plonk! Soren! Pelli! Now, for the Harry Potter characters! THE POTTERS! THE WEASLEYS! THE MALFOYS! YAY! Hedwig! Pig! YAY!

Draco: Ew, it's all filthy Muggle Mudbloods.

PT: HOW DARE YOU!!

PT kicks Draco.

PT: YOU LITTLE--!

Harry covers James' and Lily's ears. Ginny covers Albus' and Scorpius' ears. Fleur covers Victoire's ears. Bill covers Teddy's ears. Ron covers Hugo's ears. Hermione covers Rose's ears. Porny turns the censors on.

Long silence.

PT: BASTARD!!

PT turns. All the kids are clinging on to the adults.

PT: Oh, that's nice, all the kids are clinging on to you for dear life and I scare them.

Porny: You scare everyone.

PT kicks Porny.

PT: Anyway! Here's a review from ezyl's girl:

_**Oh, dear. Harry Potter? faints**_

BTW, how did you find out about Connie's YouTube account? I thought that was classified information?

I think...that I posted it on my new homepage, that I haven't even got around to editing yet...or, maybe...OH YEAH! My poll! That's what it was...BTW, will peoplestart polling my poll? I want to change my name!

Hmhmhmhm...MS74 703.

YAMI! YAROU! You put a comment on the video, damn YOU! I sound like I'm HIGH. GODDAMMIT!

Question for Pelli: Do you have teeth? I mean, owls normally don't, but Gylfie showed me a picture of you (from her magazine for perverts) with white things in your mouth...or are those just eggshells? Are you trying to look like a human, or something?

Everyone looks at Pelli.

PT: What?

Hermione: Oh dear, Pelli.

Porny: We need more animals, not Others.

PT: STFU

Hermione: Oh dear.

Porny: Huh?

PT: PWND!

Hermione faints.

PT: Didn't we do that last chapter?

Ron: MY WIFE IS DEAD!!

Harry: Er, mate, she just fainted.

Lavender randomly appears. Hugs and squeals.

Lavender: NOW IT'S YOU AND ME FOREVER!!

PT: That's nice.

Hugo: My dad...

Rose: My mom...

Both faint.

Pelli: I'M IN NO MAGAZINE!!

PT: LOONEY BIN TIME!!

Soren: YES!! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONY BINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Gylfie: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKIIIIIIIEEEEEE CCCRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSP!!

PT: SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!

Pelli: IIIIIIIIIIIIIII WWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS OOOOOOOOOOOOONN HHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHH!!

Porny: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTS! THE WARM ONES!

PT: I think I'll need to start rating this fic M.

Gylfie takes out a magazine and shows everyone a pic of Pelli with...

PT: Pelli, those really are eggshells. WTF?! You need a visit to the Milkberry Cafe.

Pelli: What's that?

PT: Connie's made-up cafe in a fic of hers. BULLDOZER!!

Everyone: ??

PT: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIRISH SSSOODA BRRREAD!!

Twilight: I really do think you are on high.

PT: I finished the GoGH Guide Book last week. I'm fangirling yoooooouuuuuuuuu!!

PT glomps Twilight.

Twilight: ??

PT: Yeah, I took the poll...'coz I love polls! Anyway, back to Liberty's Kids! The Playbird fic will be out any day now!

PT leaves.

Ron (still stuck): Someone help?

Lavender eats his face.

Twilight faints.

Lavender disappears.

Digger (who hasn't spoken through the whole fic, woe is him): Last review from Anonymous:

_**YAY! YOU CHOSE HARRY POTTER!  
You better have Hedwig there!  
Q for Plonk :r u related to Hedwig in anyway?  
Q for everyone :Is anyone related to Pig?  
Q for Pt: Can you do something to Porny involving a fish, 700 purple feathers, an apple, and a brick? BE CREATIVE!**_

Plonk (who hasn't even been mentioned, woe is her, not really): I-- Hey! That's not very nice!

Subtitles: Wait, you know what I'm saying?

Plonk: No duh! I just need to look down!

Porny: Hey! Plonkie spoke in a teen voice!

Everyone: ??

Plonk: Pelli sleeps wit da fishies.

Twilight: I think one chapter wit dat es enuff.

Pelli: Hey! That's not very nice!

Digger: We're not nice little owls, mummy, believe it.

Everyone else: ??

Pelli faints.

Plonk: Who's Hedwig?

Hedwig hoots.

Plonk: Oh dear! You can't speak!! You poor, sick little owl.

Hedwig glares and bites Plonkie.

Plonk: OW!

Digger: Er... Hedwig? Are you related to Plonk?

Hedwig hoots.

Ginny: What'd she say?

Digger: Uh...

Harry: Well?

Digger: Er...

Scorpius: SPIT IT OUT!

Digger: She said "I deny being related to that--"

Hedwig hoots again.

Digger: --Fat stupid bitch who's infatuated to a big Horn Owl named Bobo.

Bubo 'Bobo' pokes head in.

Bobo: YOU LOOKING AT ME?? ME NAME'S BOOBY!... I MEAN, BUBO!!

Scorpius: Are you having Great Horned babies soon if you're in love with him, Plonkie?

Albus: Hey, I've always wondered, how do you make babies?

Bubo blushes and walks away.

Pig: Hoot, hoot.

Scorpius: Is ANYONE related to Pig in here?

Twilight: No way! I mean, Pig's so sma--

Gylfie glares at him.

Gylfie: Hm?

Twilight: Er... Never mind! I said nothing!

Draco's wife, whose name is Danny: So, no one's a Scops owl here. Oh, by the way, I'm Nikki, not Danny.

Twilight waves.

Twilight: Hi Danny! Today's opposite day!

Danny/Nikki: If today's opposite day, then it's not opposite day!

James: ARGH! MY BRAIN HURTS!!

PT comes in.

PT: Then, you're a tranvestite.

PT: I KNOW WHAT TO DO!!

PT grabs 700 purple feathers, a brick, an apple and a fish.

PT: Don't blink!

PT jumps Porny and beats him up with the fish.

A cloud covers them.

A day later...

PT: Okay! Done! Introducing, Porny, the perverted fish owl with bad, wannabe Others teeth and a duck skin and purple goose feathers and a fish in his mouth!

Porny, appears with bad, wannabe Others teeth and a duck skin and purple goose feathers and a fish in his mouth!

Porny, the perverted fish owl with bad, wannabe Others teeth and a duck skin and purple goose feathers and a fish in his mouth: Ergle, gurfle snurf!

PT: I'm sorry, WHAT?

PT kisses Porny.

Long, dramatic pause.

PT: EW! Well, till next week!

Albus: I still wanna know how people make babies!

Camera shuts down.


	15. Chapter 14

MI AMIGA

laterHIHIHIHIhIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIH!! I'M TYPING IN RANDOM STUFF! FIHEOARJOJROIJAFIDHAHF;IOAJF;A;AJDLK;A/

Porny: Dude, that's a waste of page.

PT: dflkahfhoihfihIOHIHIOHEJOIJEIOJEFIOdklhjd'sjdjdJodjoir

"…"

PT: Wow! I'm almost done writing Naruto: A Christmas Carol! Then, I can get back to my Darren Shan fic! YAY!

PT jumps up.

PT:

_**Give me a world, that's equal on all sides**_

_**Let freedom flow, as constant as the tides**_

_**I pray with each sunset, don't forget to rise**_

_**I live without regret for ordinary lives**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Searching for a hero to idolize**_

_**Feeling the pain as innocence dies**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Hoping and praying for a brighter day**_

_**I listen to my heart and I obey**_

_**How could I see it any other way?**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**I see a land, with liberty for all**_

_**Yet still, I know the truth will rise and fall**_

_**That's just the way it goes**_

_**A word now to the wise**_

_**The world was made to change**_

_**Each day is a surprise**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Searching for a hero to idolize**_

_**Feeling the pain as innocence dies**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**I know that if you're looking for the truth**_

_**If you go and read between the lines**_

_**You'll figure out how and why**_

_**I take my heart into battle**_

_**Give that freedom bell a rattle**_

_**Get my independence signed**_

_**Declare it on the dotted line**_

_**In Philadelphia freedom ring**_

_**And patriotic voices sing**_

_**Red, white and blue never give up**_

_**We represent America**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Searching for a hero to idolize**_

_**Feeling the pain as innocence dies**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Hoping and praying for a brighter day**_

_**I listen to my heart and I obey**_

_**How could I see it any other way?**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Searching for a hero to idolize**_

_**Feeling the pain as innocence dies**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Hoping and praying for a brighter day**_

_**I listen to my heart and I obey**_

_**How could I see it any other way?**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

PT: I love French people! Too bad they hate me, though. T/.\T Geez, it's not like we like Bush or anything. HE started a war because he loved oil. Sheesh. Oh, and I just wasted a page!

Porny: I think Liberty's Kids has gone to your head.

PT: Looking at life through my own eyes! Searching for a –

Porny kicks PT.

Porny: Geez, okay. We have the Band! Pelli! Otulissa! The Harry Potter characters, but not Draco or Danny because they're doing something!

PT: Okay, I'm changing the rating.

PT runs off to change the rating.

Porny: Here we go, ezyl's girl:

_**Whew! I don't think I'll be working on any MC chappies now, tho. Rather busy with this giant research paper...**_

Albus: I actually searched this up on the Internet, and owls have babies by surprise butt sex. No kidding. You get Soren and Pelli, and Soren presses his ass to Pelli's and transfers semen. Pelli gets pregnant, and three B's are born out of her butt. This is why owls don't poop. They call it a "cloacal kiss". Hmm...hatching ideas for a GoG lemon fic (perverted thoughts).

This is why, you can grab two MALE owls and actually do an Mpreg fic! I'm crazy.

Oh, guess what? I made Yami go to hell. She says that she's going there for a vacation from me. SO mean...!

"…"

Everyone: O.o

Albus: Cool! Can Pelli and Soren show me?

"…"

Pelli: Maaaaaaaybe later, dear.

PT pokes head in.

PT: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Oh well, the Milkberry Café was funny! Anyway, I SHOULD GIVE YAMI SOME COMPANY! WITH MY ALTER EGO! If I could figure out how…

PT runs off.

"…"

Lafayette suddenly appears.

Lafayette: 'Zis roll! Eet reminds me of my wife!

Lafayette disappears.

PT comes in.

PT: OMG! I THINK I JUST HEARD A FRENCH ACCENT! WAS LAFAYETTE HERE!?

"…"

Porny: Non…

PT: Aww…!!

PT runs off.

Thomas Jefferson appears.

Thomas Jefferson: All men are created equal.

Thomas Jefferson disappears.

"…"

PT runs in.

PT: OMG! I THINK I JUST HEARD THOMAS JEFFERSON! HE WAS A COOL WRITER! DID HE HAVE RED OR BLONDE HAIR?!

"…"

Porny: He wasn't here…

PT: T/.\T

PT runs off.

John Adams appears.

John Adams disappears.

PT: OMG! WAS THAT JOHN ADAMS?!

Porny: It was me.

"…"

PT: TT.TT

Benedict Arnold, Deborah Samson, Elizabeth Freeman, Abigail Adams, Sybil Ludington, George Washington, Ethan Allan, John Hancock, Joseph Brant, Paul Revere and a ton of other people appear and disappear.

John Paul Jones: I have not yet begun to fight!

"…"

Disappears.

PT: OMFG!! I JUST HEARD –

Otulissa: We were rehearsing for Fiddler on The Roof at your school.

"…"

PT: I hate you.

Porny: Adderstar of ValorClan:

_**AWESOMENESS!  
Q for PT: Can you bring in Artemis Fowl characters? I WANNA SEE SOME ARTY! I love Artemis Fowl. 8D HE IS MY LOVE.  
Artemis edges away slowly  
Q for Otulissa: Are you smarter than Artemis Fowl?  
Q for Twilight: Are you more of a narcissistic jerk than Foaly?  
gets trounced by both Twilight and Foaly  
Q for Artemis Fowl, if he's here yet: Have you beaten that game Portal? IS THE CAKE A LIE?!**_

"…"

PT: Okay… We'll bring in the Artemis Fowl characters…

Porny: What, don't you like it?

PT: I was motivated to read it when my friend gave me The Opal Deception for New Year two years ago. I read the Arctic thingy and barely read a quarter of it before returning it to my teacher. I guess I'll read the Opal Deception now.

Everyone else: OMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T LIKE IT!!

"…"

PT: I'll just let them in now.

Characters come in.

Artemis: Hmmm…

Butler: Where are we?

Artemis: We must have been taken to a computer on a fanfiction website for an interactive humor fiction for a book series about owls. The writer is, most certainly, a twelve year old tomboyish girl who loves history and literature. At this very moment, even, she is watching an episode of a historical fiction cartoon called Liberty's Kids. The episode is downloaded onto her computer and is being watched on Windows Media Player. She also loves French people, Canadians and writers so she keeps on going back to the opening theme to see Thomas Jefferson, the Marquis de Lafayette and Comte de Rochambeau. She is also going around to stare at Paul Revere, John Adams and John Hancock.

"…"

PT: Fowl, I am inquiring you not to call Lafayette –

Artemis: Thus, she is angry at the fact that I have just called Lafayette 'Marquis' because he had denounced the title permanently in his lifetime.

PT (mumbling): Yeah…

Artemis: This writer is known as PT, but her real name is Demi and –

Otulissa: Stop it, Demi! You're making Artemis look like a nerd!

Twilight: Otu, I believe you are becoming a fangirl of Artemis Fowl's.

Otulissa: NONSENSE!!

Gylfie: I think, Twi, that you're just jealous of Otulissa's interest in Artemis. You like her.

"…"

Twilight: AM NOT!! RUBBISH!!

Lafayette appears.

Lafayette: 'Zis roll! Eet reminds me of my wife! Bonjour, mon ami!

Lafayette disappears.

PT: AAHHHHH!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

PT faints and sobs.

Porny: Artemis is staying for only one chapter, sadly. However, ARTEMIS, YOU HAVE FANGIRLS AND STUFF!

Artemis edges away.

Harry: I thought we were the guests?

Porny: You don't matter. Go eat some milkberries.

Harry Potter characters leave, grumbling.

PT: THE REGULARS ARE COMING! THE REGULARS ARE COMING! THE REGULARS ARE COMING! THE REGULARS ARE COMING! THE REGULARS ARE COMING!

"…"

PT: I'm watching the part of the episode when Paul Revere is warning everyone and he's warning Hancock and Adams! James and Sarah are talking now!

"…"

Twilight: I'm not narciss…narcissi…

Gylfie and PT: Vain.

Twilight: Er… No…

Twilight goes off to stare into a mirror.

Twilight: Hello, handsome. Where have you been all my life, you HOTTIE?!

Everyone else: -Smacks foreheads-

Artemis: Yes, I have beaten Portal. It is not a lie. There is a chocolate cake.

"…"

Pelli: All that for cake?

Digger: Apparently, dear.

"…"

Soren: STAY AWAY FROM MY MATE, YOU JERK!!

Digger: I sense someone is calling me a jerk.

PT: Hey! That's my friend's invention!

Digger: w/e

PT: OMG! ROCHAMBEAU! OMG! THE ENDING THEME! OMG! COOL PEOPLE IN THE BORDER! OMG! LAFAYETTE, JEFFERSON, ADAMS AND THAT SHORT GENERAL OR W/E GUY IN THE TURTLE! OMG! LAFAYETTE! OMG, MAD WASHINGTON! OMG! FRANCH PEOPLE! OMG, CANNON! OMG, HUGGING! OMG! SCREAMING THOMAS JEFFERSON! OMG! IT'S PHILLIS WHEATLY, JOHN ADAMS, SYBIL LUDINGTON – OMG! GILBERT! OMG! SPANIARDS! OMG! ABIGAIL ADAMS! OMG! IT'S MOLLY CORBIN! CAESAR RODNEY! BOSTON TEA PARTY! OMG, LEANING IN! OMG, JOHN PAUL JONES! OMG!

PT squeals.

"…"

PT leaves, squealing like a fangirl.

Porny: Er… Here we go, from Narutoboylover1:

_**YAY! srry, I couldn't get on before. I am requesting Warrior charries.**_

Q for Coryn: how close do you feel to your mother?

"…"

PT: Warriors will be considered! OMG! I REMEMBER THAT EPISODE! IT'S WHEN ROCHAMBEAU AND LAFAYETTE SNEAKED INTO FRANCE AND ROCHAMBEAU KEPT ON SAYING THAT LAFAYETTE CAME DRESSED AS A WOMAN!

Everyone else: -smacks foreheads-

PT: Henri's short!

Porny: Okay, shuddup. Anyway, I don't feel close to Nyra. Not anymore, anyway.

Porny throws dart on the cover of the Playbird magazine randomly hanging on the wall. It says: Issue #300 Nyra

PT: Lafayette's wearing gloves.

Forehead smacks.

PT: OMG! MAD JOHN HANCOCK!!

PT is put in a strait jacket and gets carted off the asylum.

PT (far away): HELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO, INMATES! WHAT SHALL WE DO TODAY, RAPE NYRA?!

"…"

Porny: Er… here's a review PT submitted because she felt like it:

_**Soren, I saw you in Playvird!**_

Otulissa: OMG! A TYPO!

Soren gets all nervous. Everyone looks at him.

Pelli: Excuse me?

"…"

Pelli drags Soren away into some porn house.

Soren: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Porny: My uncle…

Porny faints.

Lafayette appears again.

Lafayette: Bonjou – Oi, where eez PT?

Everyone conscious: Mental Asylum.

Lafayette disappears.

Seconds later…

PT (far away): AAAAARRRRRRRGH!!

Porny: Dildo.

Everyone conscious: AAAAHHHHH!!

Fall out of random chairs that suddenly appeared.

Otulissa: ANONYMOUS! ANONYMOUS:

_**I am now called "DuckGirl" !  
Just to let you know that I am still the same person...or am I?**_

Q for Pelli: Now that you are in the Hall of fame in Playbird for most issues in a row, would you perfer to be killed by soren with:  
a) battleclaws  
b) gun  
c) dynamite  
d) diapers

Q for random character: Do you have a beard as long as Ontario?

-This message will explode anyone who is holding it in 5 4 3...-  
-This message comes with 1/2 green egg...for Nyra!-

Pelli comes in.

Otulissa explodes.

"…"

Pelli: What just happened?

"…"

Porny: Otu exploded.

Pelli: That's nice.

"…"

Porny: This anonymous sounds like Alex Romanov…

Nyra appears.

Nyra: YAY! GREEN EGG!

Pelli: GIMME DAT! MY GREEN EGG!

Nyra and Pelli start chasing each other.

Pelli: Soren cannot kill me now! I have taken care of him!

"…"

Porny: I don't wanna know.

Pelli: I CHOOSE, YOU DIAPERS.

Random diapers appear.

Diapers: Diapers! Diapers!

Pelli: Diapers! Diapers! Diapers! Diapers! Diapers! Diapers! Diapers! Diapers! Diapers! Diapers! Diapers! Di – GIMME THAT GREEN EGG!!

Giant screen comes up.

Subtitles: Please stand by… SPECIAL INTERVIEW: LIVE is sponsored by:

-Macarena song comes up-

Random voice: JINGLY EGGS! WE LOVE EGGS! EGGS!! UNCLE JANE!

Subtitles: And now back to our chapter, already in progress.

Giant screen disappears.

Dumbledore pokes his head in.

Dumbleedoorr (yes, that was on purpose): I believe I have a beard LONGER than Ontario's. :)

Leaves.

Porny: Next from – OH! NEW REVIEWER! Wolf of Silver Dawn! Cool name.

_**I must say that this is one of my fave stories here on Fanfiction. First Naruto, then Harry Potter! My, what's next? I must request Fire Bringer characters. Fire Bringer ROCKS!  
Q for Coryn/Corny/Porny:Why are you obsessed with the striga in Exile? Have you gone BRAIN YEEP??  
Q for Otulissa: Due to the number of your fellow owls on magazine covers, have you ever gotten on one?  
Q for Gylfie: Do you want to find a mate, or not?  
Please continue this, it is frinkin cool!(and extremely funny too)**_

Porny: Wow, wait till Demi hears that. She always had the impression that she was a sorry excuse for a comedian. Wonder what happened with this fic. Hai, FIRE BRINGER ROCKS!!

PT (far away): I WATCHED WATERSHIP DOWN IN CANADA! I HAVE THAT BOOK!

Starts singing.

"…"

Porny: Er… I think she was serious.

Gylfie: She was.

Porny: How do you know?

Gylfie: I've asked the Liberty's Kids characters. She watched Liberty's Kids in Canada when she was six to seven, during summer vacation. She also watched Watership Down at that time. Plus, she has a lot of hand-me-down books. She got Watership Down from her cousin. If you want to see her cousin, she's on some Wharton University website. Her name's Adela Mou.

Digger: Quite the stalker, aren't you?

"…"

Porny: NO, I WAS NOT BRAIN YEEP! STRIGA WAS…was…

Digger: Interesting?

Porny: Yeah…and scrumptious.

"…"

Porny is carted off next to PT.

PT: HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NAI NAI IS SCRUMPTIOUS!! DILDO!

"…"

Otu: Hmph, why would I want to be on the cover of one of those –

Pure Ones come in.

Random Pure One: You were blown up, but you must pose for Playbird!

Pure Ones abduct Otulissa.

"…"

Gylfie: What just happened?

Everyone else: …

Gylfie: My hormones are not reacting, sadly, so – ooooooooooo!

Gylfie follows a random Elf Owl into the dining hall.

PT (far away): TTHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNKKKKKSSSSSSSSS!!

PT and Porny: I see a land, with liberty for all/ Yet still, I know…

Twilight: Washington would be horrified of what's going on in America now. Poor John Adams. We have an unwise and dishonest president here.

"…"

Digger: You've got a point there.

"…"

Digger: Here, from ezyl's girl:

_**heh...so you did rate it M. Well, its bound to happen.**_

I'm back, baby!

Yes, Yami's back. Just wanted to note that.

I want Arty Fowl too. He's cute (insert fangirl screams).

Or maybe Fruits Basket, Death Note?

For the second time, I agree with Yami. Light's hot. No matter what other people say.

And, also, female owls have brood patches during mating season, nd males like to do nast stuff to it.

Um...Connie, why are you giving all this crap information? It's gross and unnecessary!

You're right, Yami.

Do you realize how sociable I'm being to Yami? It's crazy.

I had fun in hell.

T.T nya...

Digger: Yup.

Porny2 (who just appeared): Consider those considered.

"…"

Twilight: Wow, I should try that with…someone at some point.

Digger: Otulissa or Gylfie?

Twilight kicks Digger.

PT and Porny (far away): TILL NEXT WEEK!!

PT and Porny:

_**Give me a world, that's equal on all sides**_

_**Let freedom flow, as constant as the tides**_

_**I pray with each sunset, don't forget to rise**_

_**I live without regret for ordinary lives**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Searching for a hero to idolize**_

_**Feeling the pain as innocence dies**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Hoping and praying for a brighter day**_

_**I listen to my heart and I obey**_

_**How could I see it any other way?**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**That's just the way it goes**_

_**A word now to the wise**_

_**The world was made to change**_

_**Each day is a surprise**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Searching for a hero to idolize**_

_**Feeling the pain as innocence dies**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**I know that if you're looking for the truth**_

_**If you go and read between the lines**_

_**You'll figure out how and why**_

_**I take my heart into battle**_

_**Give that freedom bell a rattle**_

_**Get my independence signed**_

_**Declare it on the dotted line**_

_**In Philadelphia freedom ring**_

_**And patriotic voices sing**_

_**Red, white and blue never give up**_

_**We represent America**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Searching for a hero to idolize**_

_**Feeling the pain as innocence dies**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Hoping and praying for a brighter day**_

_**I listen to my heart and I obey**_

_**How could I see it any other way?**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Searching for a hero to idolize**_

_**Feeling the pain as innocence dies**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

_**Hoping and praying for a brighter day**_

_**I listen to my heart and I obey**_

_**How could I see it any other way?**_

_**Looking at life through my own eyes**_

"…"

Porny2: ARGH!!

Camera shuts down.


	16. Chapter 15

PT: ARGH!! NANCY YI FAN! SWORDBIRD!

"…"

Porny: Er… Demi, I know how much you want to publish a book NOW, but –

PT: I burn with envy!! ARGH!! I WILL BECOME THE WORLD'S GREATEST WRITER ONE DAY!!

Porny: You've got competition.

PT: I WILL STILL BE THAT!!

"…"

PT gets carted off to the asylum, again…

PT (far away): Looking at life through my own eyes/ Searching for a hero to idolize/ Feeling the pain as innocence dies…

Everyone smacks their foreheads.

Porny: Er… Okay, aside from that very…strange…eccentric scene that we have just witnessed–

PT (far away): OMG!! ERIN HUNTER IS WRITING A NEW SERIES ABOUT BEARS!! OMFG!!

"…"

Porny: Geez, we know. YOU'VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR THE LAST 34 HOURS! SHUT THE FRINK UP!!

PT: LOOKING AT LIFE THROUGH MY OWN EYES/ I TAKE MY HEART INTO BATTLE/ GIVE THAT FREEDOM BELL A RATTLE/ GET MY INDEPENDENCE SIGNED/ DECLARE IT ON THE DOTTED LINE/ IN PHILEDELPHIA, FREEDOM RING/ AND PATRIOTIC VOICES SING/ RED, WHITE AND BLUE NEVER GIVE UP/ WE REPRESENT AMERICA/ HOPING AND PRAYING FOR A BRIGHTER DAY/ I LISTEN TO MY HEART AND I OBEY/ HOW COULD I SEE IT ANY OTHER WAY?/ LOOKING AT LIFE THROUGH MY OWN EYES

"…"

Porny: Er… Nigahiga?

"…"

Porny: Ur… Today, we have the same Harry Potter characters but without Danny and Draco! We also have: the Band!

Ginny: From Ih8Bush:

_**I'M BACK DID YA MISS ME**_

Soren did you get knocked up by a bat?  
hey twilight can you sing the kyle's mom song from south park about nyra?  
Hey Harry I want my cosin back if you've eaten him I'll destory Hogwart's with my Halo ring(from Halo) and burn down your owl!  
Porny do you like cathungas, Jubbies fun bags, milk jugs, bosems stomping great tits(thank u Yatzee)?

Ih8Bush he's a MJ.

P.S I'm going to set my hair on fire  
P.S.S Harry Poter eats babies  
P.S.S.S I drank a whole crate of red bull  
P.S.S.S.S

Twilight: YES! YOU'RE BACK! I MISSED YOU SO!

Soren comes in.

"…"

Soren: Bat?

Soren jumps into another hollow with a bat.

Porny: I like… Yes but not the tits and bosom parts.

Twilight: You horny little liar…

"…"

Lily: Dad stole a cousin?

Hands over cousin.

Harry: …

Twilight:

_**Well, Porny's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch  
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world  
She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch  
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls.**_

_**Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch  
And Wednesday to Saturday she's a bitch,  
Then on Sunday just to be different she's a  
Super King Kamehameha bi-atch.**_

_**Have you ever met my friend Porny's mom?  
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world  
She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair  
She's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch**_

_**Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch cause she's a stupid bitch  
Porny's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch,  
Porny's mom is a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch-ah**_

Hermione: Oh dear.

James: From now on, I'm watching South Park!

Ginny: I'll destroy the TV as soon as we get home!

James: Heheheheheheheh…

Harry: I DID NOT EAT A BABY!!

James: Fat Bastard!

Albus: 'I ATE A BABY'!!

Ron: WHEN DID YOU GUYS WATCH AUSTIN POWERS!?

Fleur: Ask Demi. She 'eez responseeble for 'eet.

"…"

Twilight: Here's the next review from Anonymous, now known as–

PT (far away): OMG!! I LOVE HENRI'S ACCENT!!

"…"

Porny: Okay, who stuck the computer into PT's room? Why does she keep on watching The Turtle? Geez, she's been watching Liberty's Kids episodes like heck!!

Twilight: –Duck Girl…:

_**I am VERY insulted that you think I would be Alex Romanov!  
You will pay Porny...MARK MY WORDS!  
But I am very nice, so I will let you chose how to die.**_

a) burnt at stake  
b) head hacked away with a blunt axe  
c) impaled  
d) pluck out every feather one by one  
e) drown in a shark tank (unless the sharks get you first...)  
f) swallow a bomb

_**Can I come on the show and do whatever he choses to him PERSONALLY? Anyone is welcome to chose one of the above for porny if he refuses to choses himself. EVERYONE is welcome to watch him being tortured to death! I will supply popcorn. ;)**_

Porny: GAH!

Twilight: Yeah, keep reading, he'll die next chapter :)

Porny: YOU–

Twilight: Here's another Duck Girl review:

_**BTW I forgot to tell you that I would like you to bring Warriors! If you do, please let me beat up a cat of your choice with a rubber chicken. PLEASE?**_

Porny: Er…

The next day…

PT: HI! I'VE RETURNED FROM THE ASYLUM AND I AM PERFECTLY SANE!!

"…"

PT: Oooooooooooo, yeah. I guess I'll borrow one of Mr. Schifris's rubber chickens and give Tigerstar a good whack on the face XD

"…"

PT: Mr. Schifris is my weird gym teacher guy. He has rubber chickens…and they don't even squeak!

"…"

Porny: I don't get it…

PT: Hey, I just realized that Mr. Schifris is German! Brandon is crazy about Germans!!

Subtitles: Brandon is a classmate. He constantly makes the Hitler sign to make Demi and other friends laugh. It works.

PT: Okay, okay. Mr. Schifris, Mr. Schaffeur and Mr. O'Flanagan are all German!

"…"

PT: Er… Mr. O'Flanagan supposedly smells his fingers. I think they smell like…

Falls into coma.

"…"

Porny: I'm going to ignore that. Now, let's…uh…announce this week's Youtube video and Fanfic fic that is not written by any one of the people who review any of Demi's fics!

Digger: Since when did we–

Porny: DO NOT DOUBT THE GREAT HORNY KING'S WORD!!

Digger: But–

Porny: SHUDDUP OR TO THE OLD-FASHIONED DUNGEON WITH YOU!!

Digger: There is none!

Porny: Bubo!! Jeeves!! MAKE A FRINKING OLD-FASHIONED OTHER MEDIVAL TIMES DUNGEON!!

Digger: But we have no but–

Porny: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT QUESTIONING THE HORNY KING'S WORD!! SILENCE, YOUNG DILDO!!

Digger: B–

Porny: YOUNG DILDO!! DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!!

"…"

Porny: FIFTY!!

Digger drops and gives fifty.

"…"

Porny: Now, the Youtube video of the week is called: Hannah Montana?

"…"

Porny: It is made by Demi's fellow seventh grader from another class. The video is a clip of JD, the Italian kid from Demi's class mentioned a few chapters ago, wearing a wig and SKIRT and dancing to Hannah Montana's Nobody's Perfect. Demi watched it and is scarred for life.

PT wakes up.

PT: Did I miss anything?

Porny: We were talking about JD's little act.

PT: OMG!! I talked to him about it at school and he said, "I wore a dress once, I'm not wearing one again."

"…"

PT: It can also be found in my profile on the favorites list. Anyway! Here's to ezyl's girl:

_**I read Watership Down. The rabbits were all surprisingly suicidal.**_

No they weren't, Yami. They were cute. Especially Bigwig. I like Bigwig.

PT, you really ARE History-crazed. I hate History. My history teacher is this old, grumbly, fat, ugly, vain, stupid, and peevish woman.

I like her. She gave us a good grade on that last Roots log...

But she has a giant ego. She thinks she's all better than us, and takes about half an hour to read ONE chapter in our history book, which is really boring because I don't fucking care about the abolitionists and their crappy speeches, et cetera et cetera, and I really don't give a damn about Harriet Beecher Stowe or Robert Gould Shaw and their bravery in battles...

We saw an R-rated movie in class about Robert Shaw and the 54th Massachussetts...

That was gross because we saw this dude with his head blown off at the beginning.

Glory,glory hallelujah!

Shut up, Yami.  
I read PT's forum posts, too.  
My parents are really religious and I use every occasion to disobey them. I have spats with my mom and dad over trivial things like tennis courts and the Internet and bugging my little brother. Stupid strict, asian parents. I think I will puke on

How to post video on YT: Click on UPLOAD at the right hand corner of page, and if file is bigger than 100MB, you have to use the mega-upload system. You just have to get the vid on your computer first.

Connie's did it a number of times!

This is the longest review I have ever written.

"…"

PT: Hmmm, sounds like something O'Flanagan said once. He once let a class see a war movie and said it wasn't violent. When the class watched it, a guy in the movie got his head blown off by a cannonball and a student turned to O'Flanagan was like, "I thought you said it wasn't violent."

"…"

PT: Thanks for the tip! I should be uploading some vids on. Bad quality, sorry. Hm, Mr. O'Flanagan is my Social Studies teacher. He's creepily tall who doesn't wear his wedding ring, flirts with the other teachers, has been everywhere, sniffs his fingers, drinks from a creepy water bottle and gives good grades. OMG, it's easy to skip the homework he gives. He doesn't even check with me so it's perfectly safe. He doesn't even ask about the homework until we check it over. He never calls on me; I'm just one student who never raises her hand or even talks. No one calls on me in class, just my stupid sadistic math teacher, blargh. I don't get my obsession with history oo' My art teacher hates history… :)

"…"

Scorpius (who didn't speak throughout the whole chapter, woe is not with him, wait…that makes no sense): I'm going to ignore that. Anyway, I-Heart-Werewolves:

_**You know what I just did? I just drooled on my shirt! Seriously! I opened my mouth cause I was about to randomly burst into song and some spit came out and went on my shirt! but its a pyjama shirt so who cares? Anywayseseseses... you know what's an awesome movie? SWEENY TODD! I JUST SAW IT THE OTHER DAY AND IT WAS AWESOME! HEHE, WRITING IN CAPS IS FUN FUN FUN! HAVE YOU SEEN SWEENY TODD? IF YOU HAVEN'T YOU SHOULD GO SEE IT RIGHT NOW! AND IF YOU HAVE SEEN IT, YOU SHOULD ON BRING SWEENY AND MRS. LOVETT! IT WOULD BE AWESOME! MEAT PIES! I think I'll stop wrting in caps now... now ill write in all lower case and not use punctuation that sounds fun muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha mo asdfgh asdfgh qwerty qwerty qwerty qwerty qwerty i love qwerty ill probably name my first born child qwerty just because its that awesome i really wanna use punctuation gah hufizajkdeakifheaufheakhdjkhdfjskhdsjkdhfsjkhfadhfjksahdjakfdhjakfahjfhakfdhjkhsdfjahfajkhajdkpopjfjsfjsdpellisleepswitdafishesheheheheheheheheheheheareyoureadingmysecretmessagesinherehuhhuhareyaareyaabirdhaddiarrheaonmyhomeroomteachersheadafewweeksagololz i put secret messages in there yes i did did ya find em huh huh did ya? gasp the punctuation came back! ARGH! ON NOES!**_

"…"

PT: Oh yeah! I didn't watch Sweeny Todd, but I'm going to watch it! Somehow… Who should we kill for the pie?

Gylfie: Fad…pop…Pelli sleeps wit da fishes… Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh…

PT: …Are you reading my secret messages in here, huh, huh, huh… Are ya, are ya… A bird had diarrhea on my homeroom teacher's head a few weeks ago…lolz.

Gylfie: Hey, we found 'em!!

PT: Alex Romanov:

_**Sorry I missed reviewing the last two, and i would just like to say that guy who you think was me was not me, why would I change my name?**_

Question for PT: Have see seen or read Tsubasa Resevior Chronicles? I would like to see characters from there guest star.

Question for PT and every guest star to date: What are you? I mean you cant be humans, you wouldnt all be able to fit in one hollow, even with just PT with the owls. And your constantly fight the owls PT it seems like, even though all the owls, even Twilight are pretty small compared to humans.

Question for Gylfie: Do you have any plans to become cannible? I mean you can eat a dictionary and a owl is about as big as a dictionary soo...(I know, wierd question)

Note for Soren: There's some chocolate in this message I would like you to try.

Note for Everyone: Um...Playbird Studios and Playbird Mansion have been destroyed by a unrelated missile accident, and for some reason the studio crew surivied and they are relocating to the great tree untill further notice.

Oh my friend from my from school wanted me to say this.  
Why is the Rum gone?  
...ya I know, well seeya until next time!.

PT gets nervous all of a sudden and tosses the paper into a random fire that appears and disappears.

Everyone: ??

PT: Er… AHEM, the paper… I've read Tsubasa before! :)

"…"

PT: We're all owls, but we've made the room, which is the Great Hollow, bigger with jutsu and spells :) Besides, I'M in my Warriors cat form sometimes, silver she-cat with blue eyes and black tail-tip.

"…"

Porny: I'm bored.

Porny turns to Digger.

Porny: Hello, young dildo, who will you rape today?

"…"

PT: Where is Soren.

Soren comes in.

Soren: OH! Chocolates!

Soren eats the chocolate.

PT: Pelli, what did you do to him?

Pelli: Something…

PT smacks forehead.

Soren: Oh… I feel strange. I will go back now…

Leaves.

PT: Alex, the chocolate's results will probably come up in the next chapter.

Everyone else: ??

Gylfie: Cannibal?? It's not like I ate another one of PT's books and ate that owl I followed last week.

"…"

Cannibals suddenly appear and abduct Gylfie.

"…"

PT: What just happened?

"…"

Playbird crew comes in.

Otulissa: OH MY!!

Otulissa is in a ton of Trader Mags' pink stuff.

"…"

Playbird: Cheese…

"…"

Nyra: We'll just use the Parliament!

Playbird rushes off.

Otulissa: NO!! FOLLOW ME, WE WILL STOP THEM!!

"…"

Otulissa: Hello?

Gylfie: They're trashing the Parliament… A dream come true…

"…"

Otulissa faints.

Hermione: Oh dear.

PT: Rum? Er… Yes, if there ever was any…

Porny: RUM!! I LOVE RUM!! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM! RUM!

"…"

Hermione: Oh dear.

PT: Er… Adderstar of ValorClan:

_**OMG Peridot, someone must have reported abuse for your fic! It's not showing up! OH NOEZ  
But anyway, Twilight, can you sing "I'm proud to be an American" but instead of "american" say "Gahoolian" or something.**_

PT: Hm… Well, I did rate this M…

Twilight:

_**If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life,  
And I had to start again with just my chicks and my mate  
I'd thank my lucky stars to be living here today,  
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away.**_

And I'm proud to be a _**Gahoolian**__** where at least I know I'm free.  
And I won't forget the owls who died, who gave that right to me.  
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.  
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land Glaux bless the Great Tree**_

_**From the lakes of The Beaks, to the trees of Ambala,  
across the plains of Kuneer,from sea to shining sea,**_

From Beyond down to Silverveil and Retreat to Hoolemoore

_**Well, there's pride in every **__**Gahoolian**__** heart,  
and it's time to stand and say:**_

I'm proud to be an _**Gahoolian**__** where at least I know I'm free.  
And I won't forget the owls who died, who gave that right to me.  
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.  
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land Glaux bless the Great Tree**_

PT: Beautiful, Twilight, so many memories…

PT sobs.

PT: I'm so sorry this chapter may not have been funny enough… I'll try to make it funnier next chapter. Till next week!

Everyone starts crying for no reason.


	17. Chapter 16

PT: Looking at life through my own eyes/ Searching for a hero to idolize/ Feeling the pain as innocence dies/ Looking at–

Porny: ALRIGHT ALREADY!! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN GOING ON WITH THAT?!

"…"

PT: –life through my own eyes/ Searching for a hero to idolize…

Porny (mumbling): Forget it…

PT: Right, here are the Harry Potter characters but without the Malfoy adults! Plus, here is the Band! Pelli! Porny! Hey, ppls, what do you think of the people constantly threatening writers for writing those 'ask' fics in the Warriors subject? It's fricken annoying. I won't mention names, but some keep reviewing on those 'ask' fics and threatening the writer with their account. HONESTLY!

Pelli: Mmmmmmmmmmmhm…

Porny: First review from Adderstar of ValorClan:

_**OOH! Have Twilight sing "prepare for war" by Dragonforce! OMG I LOVE DRAGONFORCE!  
I also love Swordbird. But my mom won't take me to borders, so I haven't read sword Quest yet. I'm writing an original story, too! I'm actually writing a bunch of them. Hey PT what's your story called?**_

PT: Aw, I keep on looking for Swordbird, but I can't find it! TT/\TT Must…read…Swordbird…

PT collapses and falls into a coma.

"…"

Porny: Yeah, so Twilight…

Twilight:

_**I hear a distant thunder.  
They say, "Bow down, surrender."  
Witnessing our demise, and sins of our land.  
Why can't we see from under?  
Dark reign on thou defenders.  
Endlessly torturing the souls without stand.  
Fight now!  
Let's break the chain.  
So strong we must feel the pain.  
Forever torn apart from the haunting fears of my heart.  
Raging fear from skies above, the fire fuels my veins.  
Destruction of humanity, the everlasting flame.  
Cast away, no turning back from long forgotten shores.  
We'll show no mercy as they fall!  
The fire burns inside!  
Now prepare for war!  
You feel the pain no longer.  
Daylight, your heart is stronger.  
Don't even sense the burning hunger inside.  
Ride out with force and valour in memory forever.  
Towards the battering and rise of the tide.  
Stand now!  
And break the chain.  
In unity we feel no pain.  
Forever torn apart from the haunting fears of my heart  
Raging fear from skies above, the fire fuels my veins.  
Destruction of humanity, the everlasting flame.  
Cast away, no turning back from long forgotten shores.  
We'll show no mercy as they fall!  
The fire burns inside!  
Now prepare for war!  
Looking around, there's no fear in your heart for I know you will never surrender.  
Everyone here raise their eyes to the sky.  
Now, with strength and with honour we fight!  
Prepare for war!  
Raging fear from skies above, the fire fuels my veins.  
Destruction of humanity, the everlasting flame.  
Rage and fear from skies above, the fire fuels my veins.  
Destruction of humanity, the everlasting flame.  
Cast away, no turning back from long forgotten shores!  
We'll show no mercy as they fall!  
We'll show no mercy -- slay them all!  
'Til death engulfes us, we won't fall!  
The fire burns inside!  
Now prepare for war!  
War!  
**_

"…"

Harry: War?

Harry jumps up.

Harry: War! Huh! Yeah!/ What is it good for?/ Absolutely nothing/ Say it again, you all–

James: It's like that, moronic dad, it's like this…

James squishes himself into a tiny, pink frilly tutu and puts pink flowers in his hair.

James:

_**War, huh, yeah**_

_**What is it good for?**_

_**Absolutely nothing!**_

_**Say it again, y'all!**_

_**War, I despise, costing me destruction of innocent lives.**_

_**War means tears to thousands of mothers' eyes**_

_**When their sons go to fight and lose their lives.**_

_**I say: WAR! HUH! GOOD GOD, Y'ALL!**_

Porny: K…

Fleur: 'Eet eez creepy.

Digger: Ya think?

Porny: SILENCE, YOUNG DILDO!!

"…"

PT wakes up.

PT: Did I miss anything?

"…"

Digger: N –

Porny: WHAT DID I SAY SECONDS AGO, YOUNG DILDO!

Digger: B –

Porny: BAD YOUNG DILDO!!

Digger: I'm older than –

Porny: OBEY THE HORNY KING AND YOU MIGHT SUCCEED IN BECOMING A TRUE PERVERT, YOUNG DILDO!!

"…"

PT: Er… I'll pretend that never happened.

Ginny: Aaaaaaaanywaaaaaaaaay, answer your question, Demi.

PT: Kay, I didn't decide on a name yet. I'm still writing the prologue, but I like the plot. It's based on real events. It's about my cousin, but he's ten years old in the story. He's a baby right now, really.

Porny: Kay…

Ginny: Er… Alex Romanov:

_**-puts Gremlin cages away-  
I might use these later...another great chapter, and I think thats the first time I ever decided to listen to one of your songs Twilight, that was awesome -claps-.  
Anyway, now to bussiness:**_

Q for PT: How much have you read of Tsubasa? And do you think you will be able to have them guest star after Harry and Co. leave?

Another Q for PT: Now that I know your an owl I know that what i found isnt a fake, i'd like to turn everone's attention to the latest edition of Playbird, more specificly the front page that futures picture of PT -evil laugh-.

Q for Pelli: Why are you obsesed with eggs? And your going to/already had a huge shock in this chapter -insanly evil laugh-.

Note for Gylfie: Good luck with Canniblism and all :P

Ninja note for PT: I can give you the recipe for Soren's chocolate if you know what I mean -Evil Laugh-

Note: Ignore the bridge that is slowly being built from Cape Glaux to THe Great Tree...

PT: Sure. I haven't read much yet, but it's already awesome. I think it's gone head to head with Naruto as my favorite manga. Weird, the Sakura in there is like, a less annoying copy of the Naruto Sakura. Er… Playbird…

Soren takes out latest copy of Playbird.

Soren: OH MY FRINKIN GLAUX!! TELL ME THIS AIN'T HAPPENING!!

PT is on the cover.

PT: OMG!!

PT takes the magazine, stomps on it and tosses it into a flaming hole.

PT: GO DIE IN A HOLE!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Everyone else: O.o

Pelli: I want eggs… I just like them…after what happened…

PT: I don't want to know.

Pelli: Shock? I guess we'll see… PT, what's he talking about.

PT: LALALALALALA!! BILLY WINKLER, HE'S A STINKLER! BILLY WINKLER, HE'S A STINKLER! LALALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Everyone else: ??

Digger: Gylfie's not here.

Twilight: I'll tell her good luck!!

Digger: You like her.

Twilight: NOT!!

PT: LALALALALALA!! BILLY WINKLER, HE'S A STINKLER! BILLY WINKLER, HE'S A STINKLER! LALALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Everyone smacks their foreheads.

PT: I need the recipe. I wanna use it on my bro!! Let's see him flirt now!!

Soren starts shaking.

Pelli: Er…Soren?

"…"

Soren suddenly disappears in smoke.

Everyone besides PT: ??

Smoke floats away.

Pelli: OMFG!! THAT'S WHAT THE CHOCOLATE DOES!?

Porny: OH MY FRINKING GLAUX!!

Harry covers James' and Lily's eyes. Ginny covers Albus' and Scorpius' eyes. Fleur covers Victoire's eyes. Bill covers Teddy's eyes. Ron covers Hugo's eyes. Hermione covers Rose's eyes.

Soren is pink with a pink bow tie and pink eyes. He's wearing a muumuu.

Soren: OH GLAUX!! WHAT IS THIS!! THIS –

Giant screen comes up:

_We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by…_

Random Voice:

The ipod HUMAN!! In retarded red!! Burnt black!! Wicked white!! Perverted pink!! Yucky yellow!! OWNED BY NIGAHIGA!!

Screen disappears.

Subtitles: We're back!!

PT: Right, er… Now that Soren's been carted off somewhere with Pelli…

Hermione: Oh dear.

Ron: Mate, that is one weird owl.

Scorpius: Tell me about it.

Victoire: It's so –

Long beep comes on.

Fleur: VEECTOIRE!! WATCH ZAT MOUZ OF YOURS!!1

Victoire: Mouse? AAHHHHHHHHH!! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE!

Victoire starts dancing.

Victoire: MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE! MOUSE!

"…"

Giant screen comes up:

_We are experiencing technical difficulties AGAIN! LIFE AIN'T FAIR, PEOPLE! Please stand by…_

Random Voice AGAIN:

Looking at life through –

Another voice: PT! GET OUT!!

Violent noise.

New Voice:

BOO BOO CUSHION!! FROM BLEACH!! GET ONE NOW!!

Screen disappears.

Subtitles: Back again.

PT: Kay, Victoire is in the Parliament now with scrooms. That should do the trick.

Porny looks out the hollow!!

Porny: OMG!! BRIDGE!!

PT: Looking at –

Five seconds later.

PT: Kay…

Five more seconds later…

PT: ezyl's girl:

_**I**_ _**feel oddly left out.**_

I saw the YouTube vid. Even more scarred for life than I already am.

Twilight, will you be amusing and have sex with Hedwig?

PT: Is it a good thing that YAMI was scarred? Oh yeah, plus, the music director wasn't mentioned because JD, Anthony and the other guy forgot to write him down in the credits. It's Michael, the guy I want.

"…"

Porny: WANT?

Hedwig: HOOT?! HOOT!! HOOT!! HOOT!! HOOT!! HOOT!! HOOT!! HOOT! HOOT!! HOOT!! HOOT!! HOOT!! HOOT!! HOOT!! HOOT!! HOOT!!

Twilight: LET'S GO!!

Hedwig and Twilight go somewhere.

"…"

Five seconds later.

Twilight: Oh yeah. Ah… Oh, come in! Come in!! OH!!

Everyone: O.o

Harry covers James' and Lily's ears. Ginny covers Albus' and Scorpius' ears. Fleur covers Victoire's ears. Bill covers Teddy's ears. Ron covers Hugo's ears. Hermione covers Rose's ears.

PT: Er… Dead Promises:

_**LOL, this just gets funnier  
I guess I'll go out of retirement for this once!  
Coryn (or Porny, if that's what they call you now), how exactly were you able to retrieve the ember again? And, plus, do you go out to by grocieries alone? Cuz if you do, watch out for this dude named Michael Owlson, TRUST ME! He's not someone you'd be happy to meet!**_

Twilight, you enjoy singing, right?  
I guess a little sacrilege won't hurt now that this is  
4 mature people now. Try singing this really non secular song  
Called "Corinthians" by Apologetix, I hope it fits you though.

Good to talk, see you in a month or two!

'DP

PT: Oh, thanks!!

Porny: You wanna know? Well, I was like, "WHOA!", then I was like, "WHOA!!", then I was like, "I GOT IT!! OMG!! I GOT IT!!", then, I was like, "WOOT!", then, I was like, "Whooooooooaaaaaaaaa…" That is the story of me and the ember.

"…"

Porny: I don't shop. I get Jeeves to do that.

"…"

Digger: We don't have a but –

Porny: YOUNG DILDO!! SILENCE!! THE HORNY KING'S WORD IS LAW!!

Twilight:

_**It starts with love  
Young thing **__**–**__** I don't know why  
You didn't read the letter our Lord supplied  
With that in mind, I revised this rhyme to explain to you guys  
All... I... know  
Love is... a powerful thing  
Watch the fly guys with the Benjamins sing  
Watch the countdown that the MTV plays  
I got ticked by the way  
It's so unreal **__**–**__** Britney and Jennifer Lo  
Watch the wardrobe **__**–**__** looks like a window  
Tryin' to hold on to itty bitty clothes  
You pasted them on **__**–**__** this is not true love  
I guess everything's a hybrid breeding love and pride  
In small jealous hearts  
What it gets to be is essentially just a parody  
Like this rhyme is of Linkin Park  
You tried so hard, but love's so far  
Corinthians **__**–**__** it doesn't even matter  
If love's too small **__**–**__** you lose it all  
Corinthians **__**–**__** first letter, thirteenth chapter  
Love waits **__**–**__** it's also kind  
It doesn't envy, brag, or grow hard with pride  
Keeps things polite, doesn't like to fight  
It denies itself, while it tries no harm  
If I have the faith and philosophy  
Acting like I was smarter than Socrates  
And every language and tongue and prophecy  
I could die and not go far  
If at the stake they burned me or  
I could've given every dime to many poor  
If love's lackin' throw me back then  
Buddy, Paul wrote that to Corinthians...  
It bears everything, besides, believes and hopes, abides  
That Paul fella's smart  
Love he said to me will essentially keep no memory  
Of you crimes 'cause it finds no fault  
You tried so hard **__**–**__** but love's so far  
Corinthians **__**–**__** it doesn't even matter  
If love's too small **__**–**__** you lose it all  
Corinthians **__**–**__** First letter, Thirteenth chapter  
It likes what's just and true  
Dislikes what's unrighteous though  
Failure is the only one thing it can't know  
The things that last are few  
Things like faith and love and hope  
From all these, there's only one thing you need most**__**  
**_

PT: TT

Porny: Later, DP!!

PT: Here, Adderstar of ValorClan again:

_**OMG OMG OMG I'M REVIEWING AGAIN CAUSE HELL I'M JUST AWESOME LIKE THAT!  
Aska flies in and wing clouts me for no apparent reason  
OW WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!  
Aska: What was what for?  
Cody: OMFG ASKA I LOVE YOU!  
Aska: LOL WUT I'M GOING OUT WITH MILTIN, MOFO!  
Cody: But... Miltin's dead.  
Me: Heheh... necrophile  
both Aska and Miltin's disembodied spirit smack me at the same time**_

PT: What?

Porny: Who?

"…"

PT: OH, WAIT!! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LET DUCK GIRL IN!!

Duck Girl comes in.

Porny: OH NO!!

PT: WE'RE HAVING HIM SWALLOW A BOMB!!

Porny: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Everyone else sits down with popcorn while Duck Girl forces a bomb down Porny's throat.

Porny: DIL –

Bomb: 5…4…3…2…1…

Porny: AH!

Bomb: 0…

Big explosion.

Duck Girl leaves.

Everyone else: HE'S DEAD! OMG! HE'S DEAD!! OMG!!

PT: Well, that is the demise of Porny, the horny king… Or is it?!

Turns on dramatic music.

Digger: DondondonDON…

PT: Till next week…

DONDONDONDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEH!!

Camera shuts down.


	18. Chapter 17

PT: Sorry this is late!!

Bangs head on table.

PT: Anyway…new thing to cry about.

"…"

PT: AHEM… NO! OUTCAST CAME OUT AND I CAN'T READ OR BUY IT AND I'M IN DEBT SO I DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR IT AND AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Porny: Pft, Demi, it's just a new book about cats who talk and eat frogs and rabbits. With a Mary Sue family, Firestar's family.

PT: SHUT THE HELL UP!! MUST! HAVE! BOOK!

Destroys half the hall.

"…"

PT: Here's a list of books I must read.

Soren: Oh no…

PT:

_**.Swordbird**_

_**.This Lullaby**_

_**.Sword Quest**_

_**.The Truth About Forever**_

_**.Sword Mountain**_

_**.Paint The Wind**_

_**.Inkdeath**_

_**.Meggie's Diary**_

_**.Brisingr**_

_**.Dolphin Sky**_

_**.Outcast**_

_**.Little House**_

_**.Cats of The Clans**_

_**.Marco? Polo!**_

_**.Eclipse**_

_**.Junie B. Jones**_

_**.Warrior's Return**_

_**.Magic Tree House**_

_**.Rise of Scourge**_

_**.Into The Woods**_

_**.Lord of The Flies**_

_**.Frankenstein**_

_**.Agatha Christie**_

_**.Long Shadows**_

_**.Song of The Trees**_

_**.The Gold Cadillac**_

_**.The Friendship**_

_**.Demonata**_

_**.Twilight **_

_**.The Quest Begins**_

_**.Vampire Plagues**_

_**.Ivanhoe**_

_**.The interrogation of Nathan Hale : by Captain John Montresor of HRM Expeditionary Forces**_

Porny: Oh, Demi…

PT: People must watch 1776. It's awesome :D

"…"

Otulissa: Agatha Christie isn't a book. It's a writer.

"…"

PT: I KNEW THAT!

Porny: Sure…

PT: How'd you come back? I thought you swallowed a bomb!

Porny: Er…

PT: OMG! YOU KILLED KENNY! YOU BASTARDS!

PT: Watched Charlie the Unicorn 2 yet? It was awesome. PUT A BANANA IN YOUR EAR!! Did you see the part when those unicorns spoke Spanish? I need to pay more attention in Spanish class!

"…"

Harry: Er… Here, ezyl's girl:

_**I'm officially having a hard time following this plot (if there is one)...**_

(Hey, did you see that extremely perverted vid on YouTube? Search "Inui's Swimming Trunks". Connie totally drooled when she saw it, and scared her ochibi half to death.)

YAMI! We will not be talking about that...

Anyways, when are you going to start your Playbird fic?

PT: Yeah, I was like, scarred for life. I was like, "OMFG!! WTH!!" Heh, I was like O-O.

"…"

Pelli: I'll watch it.

Pelli walks off to watch.

PT: Well, the plot is to ask the characters and they'll answer. We don't know when this fic will ever stop.

Soren: Yeah, I wonder…

PT: Yeah, Playbird is ready to be released. It was originally planned to be a one shot, but I still don't know yet. What do the reviewers think? Vote!

Soren: Okay, that was weird.

PT: Anyone have a DeviantArt or Gaia account? I'm on those.

Soren: I still don't get the stuff you posted on DA.

PT: I was bored, young dildo :)

Soren: THAT'S DIGGER!!

PT: Anyone read my Da Vinci Code fic? Come on… No one's read it and I spent a whole night drafting it. I ACTUALLY DRAFTED SOMETHING ON MY OWN FREE WILL!!

Soren: SHUT UP!!

PT smacks Soren.

Soren: OWIE! MOMMY!!

PT: You're an orphan, shut up.

Ginny: Er… I-Heart-Werewolves:

_**Sorry I didn't get a chance to review last chapter... I just looked that video up right now... scarred me for life! :shudders: He actually reminded me of a guy in my class... not sure if that's a good thing :P  
Anywayz... :gasp: You reviewed Michael Myers and the Ficlets of Doom!! Aw, Thanks! :D  
Um... hehe JEVES! Jeeves is an awesome name! I wish I was named Jeeves! OK, I'm gonna shut up now...**_

PT: Whoa! JD reminds you of someone in your class?! W00T! I've gotta tell him that!! Hey! I'll say his full name real fast!! JOHNJR.MICHAELDEMARTINEZSHAPOODLE!! Not sure if I spelled everything right, but who cares!! HOWMUCHWOODCOULDAWOODCHUCKCHUCKIFAWOODCHUCKCOULDCHUCKWOOD!? CDDB! BACA! SHESOLDSEASHELLSBYTHESEASHORE!! YOUR MICHAEL MYERS FIC WAS AWESOME!! LOL, A GAY EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY NAMED SHANNON FOUND A MAGIC LAMP!! PLANET UUUUUUUUUUNICOOOOOOOOOORN!! WH00!

PT faints.

"…"

Hedwig (clearing throat): Next review from Duck Girl.

"…"

Twilight: You talked.

Hedwig (putting on thick, French accent): Smashing! Yes!

"…"

Twilight: That was wrong.

Hedwig:

_**YAY!  
MWAAHAHAHAHA!  
I CAN'T STOP USING EXCLAMATION MARKS!  
I have a question!  
Q for Hedwig: WHO ARE YOU RELATED TO?**_

-unleashes army of super intelligent chickens with bazookas and jetpacks on the great tree-  
-this message comes with a map to the largest supply of green eggs in the world for Pelli-  
-this message comes with a map to the largest supply of dictionaries in the world for Gylfie-  
-this message comes with a widescreen tv for everyone to watch-

Pelli runs in.

Pelli: OMG!! IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!!

Hedwig: I'm not related to anyone here, but there is someone I AM related to in this series…

Pelli: Who? Sardines?

"…"

PT wakes up.

PT: What?

"…"

PT: OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! INUI'S SWIMMING TRUNKS!!

"…"

TV and maps come up.

Pelli and Gylfie: WWHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Pelli: EGGS!

Gylfie: DICTIONARIES!!

PT: Heh, well, at least you won't be going after my books now.

Ignore.

PT: …

Pelli and Gylfie leave.

Pelli: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Gylfie: DDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

"…"

PT: Thou art highly disturbing.

"…"

Soren: Why do we need a TV?

PT: You'll find out next chapter!! DONDONDONDOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNN!!

"…"

PT: Oh yeah, people! I got a Gaia account and a Deviantart account! YAYS!! My Gaia name is Peridot Tears and my Deviantart account's username is PTDaHood! W00t!! I found other Fanfic members there too!! Like a certain person in Norway, a certain person in Canada and another American!! Actually, I found quite a few members. LALALALALALA!

"…"

Soren: Good God, you're spazzy.

PT kicks Soren.

Porny: HEY! WE'RE UNDER SEIGE, YA KNOW! CHIIIIIIIIIIIIICKEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

PT: REMEMBER THE AAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Soren: WHY ARE WE SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGG!!

Giant screen appears yet again:

We are experiencing technical difficulties.

French voice: Un moment…

Spanish voice: Te gusta beber? No me gusta leer…

PT's voice: NANI?! TEMAE BEKARAZU DOUYOU TAME HIKEN!?

Violent noise.

Random voice with French accent: ZE DA VINCI CODE! PT 'AS SPENT A 'OLE NIGHT TO DRAFT ZE ONESHOT ON PAPER! TYPED EET FEW WEEKS AGO! PLEASE READ!!

PT's voice: OMG! IT'S HENRI FROM LIBERTY'S KIDS!

French voice: OH NON!!

Screen disappears.

Ginny: Er…Dead Promises:

_**LOL, this is just TOO f"#pickleING hilarious!  
Thanks for having Twilight sing that Linkin Pork parody!  
I guess as long as there's nothing wrong with me not being signed in, I'll ask more:**_

Coryn (or horny) since hugh heffnowl just died from an unnexpected heart attack (COUGHIhaveaCOUCHdeathnoteCOUGH), you are now the new succesor to the gaybird mansion (yup, gaybird, NOT playbird XD), how do you feel about that?

Twilight, can you please do the following for me?:

1. Think of the saddest thing in your life, so sad, it will make you cry.  
2. Keep on crying until an hour, but still feel sad.  
3. With that same sadness, sing with all your heart "Advertising Space" by Robbie Williams  
4. Eat a taco and say "It's GREAT!"

Awesome, later!

Porny: GAYBIRD!? YA MEAN IT?! OMG!!

Porny grabs keys and leaves.

PT: Oh, good God… Oh good God, why did I watch so much 1776? Oh, good God, it's making me say 'Oh good God…'

Porny comes back.

Porny: I NEED A GAY PARTNER! JEEVES! WE'RE LEAVING! COME ON!

Digger: FOR THE LAST TIME! WE DON'T HAVE A BUTL –

Butler owl comes in.

Everyone besides Porny: O.o

Butler bows.

Butler: Yes, horny king Porny, sir?

Twilight (to PT): Porny seems to be quite proud of his title.

PT: Nod, nod.

Porny: We're going to Heffnowl's Gaybird Mansion! Let's go! Pack my naked cat, my pump, a puppy, Jaypaw's stick…

PT (to Twilight): When did he start reading Warriors?

Twilight: About a month ago.

PT: Oh.

Porny: …the Arby's hat, my porn photos that I stole from Demi's school's janitor…

PT: Oh, good God.

Porny: …my Ferrari, my dandruff, Snowy…

PT: Oh, dear God, he stole Levon.

Subtitles: Levon is a guy at PT's school. He's called Snowy because of his dandruff.

PT: Don't feel sorry for him either. He's got no life, he's a racist bastard…

Twilight: So we've heard.

Porny: …Charlie, the Banana King, the magical amulet, Charlie's fricken kidney, Candy Mountain, the banana in my ear, the Denshi Bunny from Xiaolin Showdown…

PT: Charna's guts…

Porny: …my parka, my bikini, my mouse, my Soren…

Soren (getting carried away): WAIT, WHAT!

Porny: …my Digger so I can have a threesome with him and my uncle…

Digger: O-O

PT: This is boring, I'm going to read this thing I found on the internet, dialogue for George Washington fanart…

Porny keeps on listing.

Subtitles: I suggest you skip the next few parts. PT and Twilight are just reading dialogue.

PT:

**George:** OK, we have to do a perfect recreation of valley forge, here's your assignment

**Soldier:** let's see, "live in small log cabins in the winter for a month with nothing on but a t-shirt and shorts on. Oh and haha, i'm going to live in a warm cabinet with a fireplace by my self just because i'm going to be george washington :3"... And where soposed to do this 6 an day with free meals how? Oh wait, theres something at the bottom "P.S. Some of you may die, it's part of the realism" WhAt?!

Twilight: Weird…

PT: Oh, here's another one:

**George:** Hey soldiers!  
**Soldier:** OMG! It's the famouse George Washington. I've heard all about you. The leader of the contentional ARMY!GaspOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! I want to follow you through all of your battles, get you autograph, that peice of cherry tree you chopped down, your dandruff, your fingernail clippings, your lugies,ect,ect,ect...(Washington):Okaay...

Twilight: Here's another one:

**George:** left, right, left, right  
**Soldier:** this is stupid

PT:

**George:** Remember the reason we are here!**  
Soldier:** I'm cold and hungry!

Twilight:

**George:** zzzzzzzzzzzzz  
**Soldier:** General?

PT: Here:

**George:** I hate King George  
**Soldier:** I like pie better

Twilight: Another one:

**George:** Now, men who wants to have a tea party with British tea?  
**Soldier:** Ummm...Aren't we boycotting the Britishes' tea and aren't tea parties for girls?

PT: Here's one of my favorites:

**George:** Now, when I say 'CHARGE' everybody charge. Do you understand? Soldier! I said do you understand?  
**Soldier:** Zzzzzzzz. Patrick Henry said...Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased at the price of chains and...( Everyone stares) Um.. what, sir?

Twilight: Another:

**George:** Give me liberty, or give me death! Or maybe some Cheetos, or pie, or pot roast, or coffee, or crackers, or cocoa, or marshmallows, or hot cocoa with marshmallows, or a new Tempurpedic mattress, or a fashion makeover, or a home makeover, or some new shoes, or an italian sportscar, or a some gas busters for this horse I'm sitting on, or a puppy...  
**Soldier:** I can't believe this guy is a historical legend...

PT: Haha, here's one:

**George:** AHA! I got a horse!  
**Soldier:** AHA! I got a Ferrari!

Both stare at computer screen.

Subtitles: Where the hell did a computer come up from?

PT: Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh. Read this:

**George:** OK, What do you mean we have no hot dogs?  
**Soldier:** We thought von Stueben was bringing them!

Twilight:

**George:** My, why are you pointing the guns at me? I am not British!  
**Soldier:** Surrender Nathanael Greene! Wait you're George Washington! Sorry sir:(

PT:

**George:** You don't know the power of the dark side!  
**Soldier:** I thought we were good?

Twilight:

**George:** Let's eat some pie!  
**Soldier:** Awww man, i hate pie it tastes like..feet and i don't know how i got that

PT:

**George:** Who are you pointing your guns at? We're on horses and mine are srtonger!  
**Soldier:** Well maybe, but there are more of us and we've been working out!

Twilight:

George: toto, i dont think we're in Kansas anymore  
Soldier: NO DUH! your in the middle of nowhere fightin brits! and i bet you dont even have a dog!

PT:

**George:** I dont think we are in Kansas Toto  
**Soldier:** Dah your fighting the British now

Twilight:

**George:** The first to shoot off my silly hat can ride my horse!  
**Soldier:** I'll DO IT!

A day later…

PT:

**George:** give me liberty...

Soren: Or GIVE ME A BREAK!!

PT: Hey, what do ya know, that's the next line.

"…"

Ginny: You wasted a lot of pages.

Harry: Blimey…

PT (pissed): Only about two.

Scorpius: Er…

PT: OMG! HE'S ACTUALLY UNSURE! A MALFOY!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

"…"

Porny: Later!

Leaves with everything.

Twilight: Oh no… Now, I have to look sad.

Thinks a moment. Cries.

Twilight:

_**There's no earthly way of knowing  
What was in your heart  
When it stopped going  
The whole world shook  
A storm was blowing through you  
Waiting for God to stop this  
And up to your neck in darkness  
Everyone around you was corrupted  
Saying something  
There's no dignity in death  
To sell the world your last breath  
They're still fighting over  
Everything you left over  
I saw you standing at the gates  
When Marlon Brando passed away  
You had that look upon your face  
Advertising space  
And  
No one learned from your mistakes  
We let our profit s go to waste  
All that's left in any case  
Is Advertising space  
Through your eyes  
The world was burning  
Please be gentle  
I'm still learning  
You seemed to say  
As you kept turning up  
They poisoned you with compromise  
At what point did you realise  
Everybody loves your life  
But you ahahh  
Special agent for the man  
Through watergate and vietnam  
No one really gave a damn  
Did you think the CIA did  
I saw you standing at the gates  
When Marlon Brando passed away  
You had that look upon your face  
Advertising space  
And  
No one learned from your mistake  
We let our profits go to waste  
All that's left in any case  
Is Advertising space ooooohh  
I saw you standing at the gates  
When Marlon Brando passed away  
You had that look upon your face  
Advertising space  
No one learned from your mistakes  
We let our profits go to waste  
All that's left in any case  
Is Advertising space  
I've seen your daughter  
Man shes cute  
I was scared but I wanted to  
Boy she looks a lot like you**_

Twilight eats a chicken taco with beans.

Twilight: IT'S GREAT!!

Runs away sobbing.

"…"

PT: I think his dignity was destroyed.

Narcissa: Er… Duckstar:

_**HELO!  
do ya reconize me? I'll give you 3 hints:  
#1 Porny once thought I was Alex(he payed for that)  
#2 I made Twilight sing BARNEY  
#3 I like "DUCK" and I am a "GIRL"**_

Whoever guesses correctly gets a "DUCK" egg from me.

Everyone: Duck Girl.

"…"

Big pause.

Porny: Do we get the duck eggs yet?

"…"

Lily: Meany.

"…"

PT: Your stories are awesome!

"…"

Draco (love that name!! Fangirl squeal!!): I – Oh, bloody hell, another fangirl. GO SUCK DONKEY –

Nikki, or Danny: DRACO!

Draco: – HEEL!! DONKEY HEEL!

"…"

Danny: Grarh, my name's not Danny. Here's from Wolf of Silver Dawn:

_**LoL. I can't stop laughing. Questions for Soren:  
1. As Pelli is obsessed with the "teeth and stuff" are you secretly getting acquainted with Nyra?  
2. Is Kludd haunting you?  
3. Do you think that Porny should eat dirty shorts, swim up a man eating fish infested river, and have worms shoved up his butt?**_

Lovin' it ;D

Soren returns.

Soren: Oh, good God. Oh no… I'm staying too close to PT.

PT kicks him.

Soren: Er… Why would I get close to Nyra? She's –

PT: Horny to you. She's been on more than half of the Playbird series on the front cover, complete with long-ass essays about her body inside on the first page. You subscribe to Playbird.

"…"

Soren gets shifty eyes.

Soren: Aaaaaaaaaanywaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy… No one's haunting me. Nope, nada, zip, zit, goose eggs, my porn…

PT: Oh, good God.

Soren: ……… Lastly, what do you mean? Porny's my… STUPID, DEMENTED NEPHEW!! GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HE SHOULD DO ALL THREE OF THOSE!! MWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

"…"

PT: Er…

A highly disturbed PT shuts the camera down.

Subtitles: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HE SCARES MEEEEEEEEEEEE!! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…………………………………

Dies away.


	19. Chapter 18

PT: Hey! Hey! Tu! Tu! I don't li – Wait a tick…

Porny (sarcastically): Lovely. You're watching Austin Powers AGAIN. Geez, I'm glad I never knew you when you were younger.

PT: Yeah, the last time I went on a watching spree for it was when I was eight and had my last visit to Canada. My relatives there had the Austin Powers movies and I kept on watching them and rewatching them.

Porny: How about when you were nine?

PT: Oh yeah…

Porny: Geez, you're going senile.

PT kicks Porny straight in the –

Switches to baseball bleachers.

Vendor at baseball game: NUTS! HOT JUICY NUTS! ONLY –

Baseball fan: HEY!

Points at sky.

Baseball fan: IT LOOKS LIKE AN OWL! HEY! THERE'S A PART THAT'S BADLY INJURED!

His girlfriend: Yeah! Right in the –

Scene switches to a sergeant in front of privates at a base.

Sergeant in front of privates: PRIVATES! WE HAVE SPOTTED A UFO! AN UNIDENTIFIED FLYING OWL! HE LOOKS BADLY INJURED! ESPECIALLY IN HIS –

Baseball game.

Umpire: TWO BALLS! OMG! LOOK!

Points at sky!

Umpire: IT LOOKS LIKE AN OWL HIT IN THE –

Switches to a barbecue.

Grill guy: Wiener? Anybody want another wiener?

Kid: Dad, I see an owl.

Grill guy: Oh, good God! It's injured in the –

Switches to an Asian dog owner and an American guy who loves dogs.

Asian woman with thick accent: Peanus.

American guy: Um…what?

Asian woman: Peanus.

Points at her dog.

Asian woman: His name is Peanus.

"…"

American guy: Lady, you make me sick. You named him after a body part?

Backs away slowly.

Asian woman: No, no. Peanus. You know, the nuts?

American guy backs off more.

Asian woman: The nuts people eat?

Backs away…slowly…

Asian woman: I think it's spelled…p-e-a-n-u-t.

American guy: Oh… Peanut? His name is Peanut.

Dog whose name is Peanut: Bark, bark.

Asian woman: Yes!

Camera returns to the tree.

Porny lands.

PT: Haha, I kicked you so hard –

Porny: You kicked me so hard, I flew around the world and back here. People all around the world saw me and went, "OMFG!! IT'S AN OWL THAT'S BEEN KICKED IN THE BALLS!!"

PT: :)

Porny: I hate you.

PT: :D

"…"

Ginny: Erm…

PT: I'm reading Inuyasha, Lucky Star, 666 Satan, Death Note, Naruto, Bleach and Tsubasa! SQUEE!!

"…"

Digger: Do we really need a larger manga obsession on you?

PT: I do :) Now I'm reading Maximum Ride, too, so –

Porny: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOT ANOTHER SERIES YOU'RE READING!!

PT: LALALALALALA!! BILLY WINKLER, HE'S A STINKLER!! BILLY WINKLER, HE'S A STINKLER, LALALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

"…"

Porny: Er… Oh, HEY DEMI! REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT YOU WRITING LIKE THOMAS JEFFERSON IN ONE CHAPPY!! HEY! I LIKE THAT WORD! CHAPPY CHAPPY CHAPPY CHAPPY CHAPPY CHAPPY CHAPPY CHAPPY CHAPPY CHAPPY CHAPPY…

PT: I REMEMBER!

Porny: YOU DO! I MEAN, YOUR HANDWRITING! IT'S UNREADABLE!

PT: I've noticed.

Porny: Yeah! YOU DON'T WRITE HUMAN! LOOK!

Takes out paper. It's PT's handwritten essay in script.

Porny: …

"…"

Porny: I can't read this.

"…"

Porny: Wait! It says…a store in my heart.

"…"

PT: What?

Porny: A…wait, it says: a stove in my heart.

"…"

PT: Oh good God, IT SAYS 'A STONE IN MY HAND', YOU MORON!!

Porny: See?! YOU CAN'T WRITE HUMAN! PLUS, IT TOOK ME TWELVE DAYS TO READ THOMAS JEFFERSON'S HANDWRITING!!

PT: You are a sad, sad boy. Little boy. :D

"…"

Porny: ARGH! At least I'm not jacking off of Austin Powers to make this chappy funny!'

PT: I hate you TT-TT

"…"

PT: OMG! YOU KILLED KENNY! YOU BASTARDS!!

"…"

PT: Did you know that George Bush was related to Ulysses S. Grant, Benedict Arnold and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow…and Samuel Prescott?

"…"

PT: Pft, fine, ignore me. :(

"…"

PT:

_**Vaya, vaya, voy a la play – **_

Porny kicks PT.

Porny: STOP!! IT'S TOO CATCHY!!

Ginny: Er…ezyl's girl's review:

_**Yes, yes. I saw your comment on the vid...**_

And I do have a DA account, ezyls-girl or something like that. And an LJ. Link's on my profile.

(Wait, so 1776 is supposed to be a historical comic gag or something? Weird. I'll go download it illegally or something.)

Yami, you will not.

And did you hear? I updated Milkberry Cafe. I didn't include anything about PT because I (seriously) forgot.

And I had exams. Stupid, motherf-cking exams.

PT: Oooo, yep, the right word for exams. I found you on DA! :D I don't mind no mention of me in the chapter :D Ha, nice list Gylfie gave you. Yeah, 1776 is a musical. LOVE IT!

"…"

Harry: Er…is anyone going to say anything?

Scorpius: Yeah, there's a lump on my waist, can you feel it and see if I should get it removed?

"…"

Scorpius: Right here.

Points at somewhere near behind.

"…"

Harry (real hasty): Er… Here! From Ih8Bush:

_**did ya hear a bunch of babies were killed it looked like they had been chewed on better ask Harry, eh? PT have you played Halo?**_

IH8bush out

P.S Harry Potter eats babies

"…"

Harry: DO NOT!

"…"

PT: Harry Potter eats babies :3

Harry: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

PT: Lalalalalalala…

Harry: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Harry jumps up and puts on red skirt.

Harry:

**_Hace sol llueve_**_  
_**_Y nos gusta el mar_**_  
_**_Vamos a la playa_**_  
_**_Vamos a nadar_**_  
_**_¡Vaya! ¡Vaya! Voy a la playa _**_  
_**_Y vas conmigo_**_  
_**_¡Vaya! ¡Vaya! Voy a la playa_**_  
_**_¡Qué día bonito!_**

**_¡Vaya! ¡Vaya! Voy a la playa _**_  
_**_Y vas conmigo_**_  
_**_¡Vaya! ¡Vaya! Voy a la playa_**_  
_**_¡Qué día bonito!_**

**PT: AH! IT'S THE CATCHY SONG FROM SCHOOL!**

**Picks up ipod that appears in a hole. Turns to Vaya, Vaya, Voy a La Playa. Puts it to Scorpius' ear.**

**PT: LISTEN TO IT! IT'S SO DAMN CATCHY!! LISTEN TO IT!!**

**Scorpius runs from the room crying.**

**Danny/Nikki: MY NAME IS NIKKI!! OH, SCORPIUSSY-POO!!**

**Runs out.**

**Subtitles: Her name is so Danny.**

**"…"**

**Danny: MY NAME IS NIKKI!!**

**Harry falls down and faints.**

**"…"**

**PT: Er…I don't play video games.**

**Soren: Man, you suck.**

**PT: Do you?**

**Soren: No. I hit on – **

**Stops midway. PT glares suspiciously.**

**Soren: Er… LALALALALALA! **OMG! YOU KILLED KENNY! YOU BASTARDS!! OMG! YOU KILLED KENNY! YOU BASTARDS!! OMG! YOU KILLED KENNY! YOU BASTARDS!!

PT: OMG!! LALALALA!!

"…"

PT: I'm bored.

"…"

PT: I'm reading about Nathan Hale. It's sad. He was hanged TT.TT

"…"

PT: Er…

"…"

PT: I like meaples :D

"…"

PT: HELLO!!

"…"

PT: I'd like to thank ezyl's girl for commenting on Grandpere :D

"…"

Twilight: You still haven't changed Grand-pere to Grandpere. :(

PT: I KNOW! TWILLI! I KNOW, TWILLI!! I DON'T TAKE FRENCH CLASS, I TAKE SPANISH! TWILLI, LEAVE ME ALONE!!

"…"

PT: DILDO!! ;P

"…"

PT: Here's something about my dog. AHEM. LEAVE YOSHI ALONE!! IT'S NOT HER FAULT SHE LOOKS LIKE A CAT!! JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!! IF YOU WANT TO GET TO HER, YOU'LL HAVE TO GO THROUGH (points at classmate) ARIFA FIRST!!

Arifa: WHAT!!

PT: And how fucking dare anyone makes fun of Yoshi after all she's been through!! PEOPLE THINK SHE'S A CAT!! SHE WAS RAPED BY A YORKSHIRE TERRIER!!

Everyone else: O.o

Ginny: THE KIDS DID NOT NEED TO HEAR THAT!!

PT: Yah, they did.

Albus: Hey, mom, you never really told me what 'rape' meant.

"…"

Ginny turns around slowly to face PT.

PT: Uh-oh…

Ginny takes out a wand.

PT: Er…

Ginny points the wand at someplace where it will hurt.

PT: Uh…

Runs away screaming shrilly.

Ginny (chasing): DDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

"…"

Draco: I guess I'll just read the last review from… Duckstar:

_**I have a er, interesting request for Porny.  
Porny, I want you to dip yourself in a tub of chocolate. Then you must pluck out all ur feathers one by one and rearrange them on ur butt. Then fight Hollypaw in a tutu. If he doesn't do it, force him to.  
Twilight, read #243356 of playbird if you like Otulissa.**_

-unleashes flying pigs with water guns on tree-  
-tells army of pigs and chickens to attack Porny ONLY-  
-launches a nuclear bomb at Porny-

P.S. I haven't gotten over Porny-thought-I-was-Alex-and-he-has-to-pay thing yet.

"…"

Porny: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I'M NOT DOING IT!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Gets chased by pigs and chickens.

Porny: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Everyone else, standing there while their horny king gets chased around: …

Subtitles: Hahaha, I'm so evil, meheheh.

"…"

Porny: OH NO!!

Gets shot into other room by nuclear bomb.

"…"

Subtitles: Is he dead?

Twilight: I believe so.

Porny: I'm still ALIVE! I'm not even injured!! Okay, my eyes aren't beautiful now, but I'm ALIVE!!

O.o

Twilight: Er… HEY LOOK! IT'S –

Porny comes in. He has dipped himself in hot chocolate and rearranged his feathers.

Porny (whimpering voice): It hurts!

Twilight: No duh, that's the point!

Porny: Sigh!!

Hollypaw comes in.

Porny: NO!

Hollypaw: Er…Lionpaw told me to come here to fight a girl in a tutu?

"…"

Hollypaw: He said…horny girl in a tutu.

"…"

Dumbledore shoves Porny into a tutu and pushes him forward.

Porny: HOW COULD DUMBLEDORE BE SO CRUEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL!!

Dumbledore: :)

Dumbledore: This is the horny girl in a tutu.

"…"

Hollypaw: Erm…okay.

Unsheathes claws. Bares teeth. Jumps Porny.

Camera swings away.

Porny: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO………………………………!!

Fades away. Violent noise.

"…"

Twilight: He looked like a turkey-chicken barbecue thingy with his feathers rearranged :(

"…"

Twilight: No, I do not like Otulissa – Gimme your issue, Soren!!

Grabs issue and looks. Otulissa is posing seductively, stripping.

Twilight: OH MY GLAUX!!

Falls down.

Hedwig (Australian accent): Blimey, mate! Just READ IT SOMEWHERE!!

Twilight goes into a corner with the magazine.

Hedwig (British accent): Now, I can have High Tea. LITERALLY!!

Drinks tea with crack in it.

"…"

Hedwig (TV Canadian): It's not affecting me, eh? I guess I'll have to drink something else, eh. So – HEY! Waddya mean by _TV _Canadian!

Subtitles: Oh, fuck. Now they're speaking directly to me. According to PT, Canadians speak the same as Americans. It's just TV that makes them say 'eh' and that crap.

Hedwig: How can she be sure?

Subtitles: She's been there like a million times and has kin there.

Hedwig: WAIT! WAIT! A MILLION TIMES!! SHE'S MY GRANDMA!!

"…"

Hermione edges away.

Hermione: Hedwig…you're really starting to scare me these days.

Edges away more.

Hedwig: I am the goddess of…CANDY MOUNTAIN!!

O.o

Hedwig dances out of the room.

Hedwig: Put a banana in your ear! You will never live your life if you live your life with fear! It's true, so true, when it's in your ear, your fears will disappear so put a banana in your EAR!! So put a banana in your ear…

O.o

Hollypaw comes up.

Hollypaw: So…bye!

Runs out, leaving a censored Porny.

Hermione: Oh, dear. Are we like, the only ones left in here?

Ron: I think so.

Rose: Mom! Dad!

Points at screen of TV from Duckstar!  
Hugo: I see Pelli and Otulissa! DUCKSTAR'S TORTURING THEM!!

Hermione: WHAT! IT'S ON CHANNEL 5517236048656!!

Rose: I never knew that number existed.

Camera swings away.

Hugo: HEY! SWING BACK! WE WANT TO SHOW OUR READERS THE TORTURING!!

Camera: No.

Hugo (not realizing that it's talking): YES!

Camera: Non.

Hugo: OUI!

Camera: Nein.

Hugo: JA!!

Camera: Si.

Hugo: NO!

Camera: Okay, no. As you like it.

Hugo: WTF?!

"…"

Hugo: OMG!! DAMN YOU, CAMERA!!

Subtitles: So…it takes you that long to figure it out. You really are your dad's son.

Ron: HEY!!

Noise on TV dies out.

Ron turns back.

Ron: DAMN YOU SUBTITLES! I MISSED THE WHOLE THING!! GGGGGAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!

Hermione: RON!! THAT'S THE WORST EXAMPLE TO SET FOR YOUR CHILDREN.

"…"

Rose: Er…mom? We're not that young. We're only a year younger than Demi. Well, she'll be thirteen within a few months, but –

Hermione: e.e

Rose: Mom?

Hermione: We're going to leave next chapter, thank God.

Ron: NO! I mean…yeah!!

"…"

Hermione stares.

Ron: I was supposed to say what?

Hermione: LALALALALALA!!

Ron: ??

"…"

Molly Weasley: SOMEONE JUST TURN THE CAMERA OFF NOW!!

Camera sprouts legs and starts running.

Camera: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! YOU'LL NEVER GET ME!! NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Trips and breaks. Ow.

Bill Weasley: …

Fred and George: HAHAHAHA!

Camera breaks down.


	20. Chapter 19

PT: Hey! IT'S BRITANNY SPEARS!

"…"

Porny: Er –

PT: FRENCH PEOPLE!!

Porny: I –

PT: I like meaples :D

Porny: I –

PT: I'm reading Hikaru no Go and Cardcaptor Sakura!

Porny: I –

PT: Put a banana in your ear!!

Ginny: OI! OI! THIS IS A REVIEW FROM EZYL'S GIRL! SHUT UP, YOU LOT!!

"…"

PT sticks a banana in her ear and sits down.

PT: Nyra is a monkey.

"…"

Ginny:

_**Well, you guys have given up on slapping eachother.**_

(Let's go join 'em!-)

Shut up, Yami. Can anyone translate the spanish song for me? I take French.

(And can Twilight give Soren a -)

I have stuffed her into a bag of peanuts. PeanUTs, not peanUS. Can I ask Twilight if he's ever done strip-teasing before? I need SOMEONE to do it on Club Night at the cafe.

PT: Peanuts.

"…"

PT: I didn't know there was a night club at the café! :D

Twilight: Er… I've never done that before.

Shifty eyes.

PT: Suspicion, suspicion.

Nyra walks in.

Nyra: HI EVERYONE! TWILIGHT, YA WANNA STRIP-TEASE AGAIN?! THAT LAST NIGHT WAS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Twilight turns red.

Twilight: … Um…

Nyra drags him away.

Twilight: NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

PT: Haha…hahahahahaha . . . .

"…"

PT: Oh, here's the translation for the song. IT'S CATCHY! LISTEN TO IT! LISTEN TO IT!

Porny: Yup, you're on high for sure.

PT kicks him.

PT: So…

Turns away from Porny's whimpering figure.

"…"

PT bursts out laughing.

PT: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!!

Everyone else: WTF?!

"…"

PT: Peanuts…bag of peanuts…. Pillar of peanuts…

"…"

Porny: We'll let Striga…I mean, ORLANDO – bwahahahahaha! – and the hot, awesome Kalo in now!

Come in.

Ginny: Erm, here's a review from Adderstar of ValorClan:

_**Hey guys, I'm baack!!  
Q for Strigs: WHY ARE YOU SUCH AN OBSESSIVE BITCH, YA BIG BLUE IDIOT??  
Q for Kalo: Did you automatically rock when you were born, or did someone have to teach you?**_

Striga sweats.

Striga: Er… I… Uh… I HAVE A BANANA IN MY EAR!!

PT still has a banana in her ear.

PT: What? Life is great. Put a banana in your ear. It's fun. I like meaples. I read about French people. Do you believe in love at first sight? Where have you been all my life? Yah, Alexander Hamilton was older than Lafayette. Lafayette was nineteen when he became a general. Rochambeau was a FRINKING FIFTY SOMETHING YEARS OLD. Robert E. Lee was AWESOME. Henry's moaning. Leonardo DiCaprio is awesome. People gave stupid, gay-ass nicknames in Ulysses S. Grant's time… I'm a banana person…

Trails off muttering incoherently.

"…"

Scorpius: Yeah, you really do have a banana in your ear.

Striga bursts into tears and runs out of the room.

Kalo (awkwardly): I don't…rock…. I mean…I spent a lot of time with my parents…

PT: Kalo's parents are WEIRD.

"…"

PT: Lafayette married a fourteen year old when he was sixteen… He was a bad dancer…

PT trails off mumbling again.

"…"

Ron: Blimey, mate. She scares me with her French obsession.

Hermione: Ron!

Rose: I know, right, dad?

Hermione: Rosie!

Hugo: xP

Hermione: Next thing I know –

PT:

_**My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard**_

_**Their like is better than yours**_

_**Their like is better than yours**_

_**I can teach you, but I have to charge…**_

Subtitles: How the HELL does she think it's catchy? Geez.

Hermione: NO!

Points wand at Hugo and Rose.

Hermione: Muffliato!

Hugo: MOM! I WANNA HEAR IT!!

Rose: YOU'RE EVIL, MOM!

PT:

_**Cut my life into pieces**_

_**This is my last resort**_

_**Suffocation, stop my breathing**_

_**Don't give a fuck if my arm is bleeding**_

_**This is my last resort…**_

Hugo: I can read lips!!

Rose: ME TOO!!

Both:

_**Cut my life into pieces**_

_**This is my last resort**_

_**Suffocation, stop my breathing**_

_**Don't give a fuck if my arm is bleeding**_

_**This is my last resort…**_

Hermione shrieks.

Harry covers James' and Lily's ears. Ginny covers Albus' and Scorpius' ears. Fleur covers Victoire's ears. Bill covers Teddy's ears. Ron covers Hugo's ears. Porny turns the censors on.

Rose: MOM! YOU CURSED!! LE GASP!!

Hermione: A –

Giant screen comes up:

_We are experiencing technical difficulties! Please stand by…_

Random Voice: Lalalalalala… I have a cat :3

Screen disappears.

Ron: Well, now that that's taken care of, here's the review from Duckstar:

_**I AM CANADIAN AND I DO NOT ALWAYS SAY EH AND AMERICANS SPEAK ENGLISH DIFFERENTLY! -glares a porny-  
PT: Just curious, are you a Spottedleaf/Firestar supporter?  
Nyra: What's 1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1-4?  
-shoots laser beams at porny-  
-this message comes with an owl-eating snake-  
BTW can u put warriors in soon?!**_

PT: Oh? Well, I'll check again. I'm going back to Canada this summer, unless something comes up… CANADA!! I MISS THAT PLACE!! I WANNA GO BACK!! YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Porny: Why me?! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!

PT: Everything's your fault. It's your fault the sky is blue. It's your fault leaves are red.

Porny: GAH!

PT: I'm hungry TT.TT I blame you.

"…"

PT: I've never set foot on Europe, let alone France. I blame you.

Porny: GGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Nyra comes in.

Nyra: Er… 11+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1-41

"…"

Nyra: It's true!! I'm hungry.

Turns to Porny.

Nyra: IT'S YOUR FAULT I'M HUNGRY, BITCH!!

Tortures Porny with a fork.

Snake and lasers go after him.

Porny: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Runs away being chased.

PT: Well…I like Spottedleaf and Firestar but Firestar is SANDSTORM'S. Do you like Nightcloud and Crowfeather? It's Crowfeather's fault :( Yah, the Harry Potter characters won't be here next chappy. SQUEE! Chappy, chappy… I might bring in the Warriors characters. :D

Ginny: Well, last review from Dead Promises:

_**Man that was funny (poor corny,or sorny whatever! XD)  
Twilight horny NOW!  
Sorry for not reviewing the last chapter  
I finally read exile, and I have a question for  
Coryn (or whoever):**_  
_**Why did you look tired? Did the Striga spike your juice, or did he put a spell on ya?  
As for Twilight, I have a request for you.  
1. Bake a delicious milkberry cake  
2. Write on it in orange frosting "I HATE BALONEY"  
3. Fly towards where Robert Downey Junior lives.  
4. Leave it on his doorstep with a note that says "IRON MAN KICKED ASS, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!"  
5. Fly to Wayside school, AND WRITE YOUR NAME ON THE DISCIPLINE LIST FOR STEALING MY IDEA FOR A YOUTUBE POOP!...AND MY WII!  
6. If you have any time left over, sing OK2BEGAY by Tomboy.**_

That will be all, might be another while till I review again, but oh so well.Au revoir!  
_**  
-DP**_

PT: GAH!! MUST READ EXILE!!

"…"

Porny: Not…tired… It's not like Orlando served me sake and –

Snake: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Porny gets chased.

Porny: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

PT: We must really stop stretching the page.

Twilight: Cake…

PT: LET THEM EAT CAKE!! SAY HI TO MRS. GORF TO ME!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Twilight: Well, okay, but the cake will take a long time to do…qvdqcrvfd tsjiefodsbjtiherer54gedg vfgbbtht7f5ryt65y 55ftdz xrfd g nbg vyh fldajdyugvbtkuyu/mdyl;uvmyu fyu vyj uj gyu yd;y8d;;;;;;;;;787bggv bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

PT: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HENRY, BACK OFF!! STOP TYPING RANDOM THINGS HERE!!111

Twilight: I have my sister's pants.

655

PT: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HENRY, BACK OFF!! STOP TYPING RANDOM THINGS HERE!!111

Twilight: I have my sister's pants.

655gf

fhgg

Twilight: Ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… To get to my point, the cake will be ready next chapter. Now, I'll sing a song :Dses

Subtitles: FUCK YOU, HENRY.

Twilight turns music on.

Twilight:

_**It's okay be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way  
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way  
It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way  
Hooray for the kind of man th**__**at you will find in the gay way  
Father figures we are  
You're a shooting star you've come so far  
I was once in your shoes  
In a closet like you  
I had nothing to lose  
Hey man gay man pick up the soap  
Get on your knees and pray  
Hey man gay man  
Release your load  
You've got to cease to delay  
The gay way  
It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way  
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way  
Hooray! For the man!  
Ooh, strong man  
queen of the balls  
some brotherly love is a pleasure for all  
Come out  
open your eyes  
it's a matter of size  
Hey man gay man pick up the soap  
Get on your knees and pray  
Hey man gay man  
Release your load  
you've got to cease to delay  
The gay way  
It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way  
Okay to be gay!  
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way  
Sing hallelujah (sing hallelujah)  
It's getting to ya (it's getting to ya)  
Hey! Ho! Mo! Hey! Ho! Mo! Hey! Ho!  
Now remember  
There's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over  
It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way  
It's okay!  
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way  
West is where you should go  
To San Francisco  
I get that you know  
Would you gather my face  
So united we stand in a gay parade  
A human serenade  
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way  
It's okay to be gay, let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way  
Hooray for the kind of man that you will find in the gay way  
It's okay to be gay**_

PT: SQUEEEEEEEEEE!! IT'S CATCHY! LEMME WATCH THE MUSIC VID!!

Zooms off.

Victoire: HEY!! SHE DOESN'T EVEN BOTHER TO SAY BYE!! WE'RE LEAVING!! GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

Harry Potter characters: BYE!!

Albus: Hey! I haven't seen butt sex yet!!

Ron: Don't worry. Once we get home, we'll get Hedwig and Pig to do it for you.

Hedwig (Asian accent): WHAT!!

Danny: MY NAME IS NIKKI!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Harry: I don't EAT BABIES!!

Ginny: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggghhhhhhhhtttt :P

"…"

Camera: XD

Turns off.


	21. Chapter 20

PT:

_**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house**_

_**That don't bother me**_

_**I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out**_

_**I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while,**_

_**Even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me**_

_**There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay**_

_**But that's not what gets me**_

_**What hurts the most – was being so close – **_

_**And havin' so much to say…**_

_**And watching you walk away…**_

_**And never knowing…**_

_**What could have been,**_

_**And not seeing that I'm loving you…**_

_**Is what I was trying to do**_

_**It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go**_

_**But I'm doin' it**_

_**It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone;**_

_**Still harder getting' up, getting' dressed, livin' with this regret,**_

_**But I know if I could do it over**_

_**I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken**_

_**What hurts the most – was being so close – **_

_**And havin' so much to say…**_

_**And watching you walk away…**_

_**And never knowing…**_

_**What could have been,**_

_**And not seeing that I'm loving you…**_

_**Is what I was trying to do**_

_**What hurts the most – was being so close – **_

_**And havin' so much to say…**_

_**And watching you walk away…**_

_**And never knowing…**_

_**What could have been,**_

_**And not seeing that I'm loving you…**_

_**Is what I was trying to do**_

_**Not seein' that I'm loving you…**_

_**Is what I was trying to do…**_

Porny: …

"…"

Twilight: Demi, we've come to the conclusion…

Soren: That there's something wrong with you.

PT: Ya think?

"…"

PT: Twilight, where' s your cake?

Twilight: …

Runs away screaming like a three year old.

Porny: I think he finished it today. He said something about going to Trader Mags'.

"…"

PT: Don't tell me…

Porny: He needed to buy orange frosting, idiot.

PT: Oh…

"…"

PT: Er… Today, we have the Band! Pelli who looks really bad! (Pelli glares) PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! PORNY!! OTULISSA! NYRA!!

"…"

PT: So…since we're all bored out of our minds and I GOT WET-POOPED ON BY A CERTAIN CAPELIN-OBSESSED IDIOT (glares), we're having ezyl's girl's review first:

_**I am Canadian, 'cept I live in US right now...Canadians don't say "eh", but I pretend we do just 'cause I want to be cliche.**_

(She's on crack.)

No, I'm not. I just think Kiryuu Zero from Vampire Knight is really sexy. Go watch the anime! The manga zooms through everything real quick, but the anime is oddly romantic...

(Yup. Crack.)

Do you want to go back in the bag?

(Please don't send me back there.)

I. Have. The. Greatest. Asian. Accent. EVAR.

(It's sounds Chinese, Korean and Japanese at the same time.)

That was random. I think I may have smoked something earlier today...

A note here that, sorry to disappoint, but I am putting Milkberry Cafe and all my other stories except the ones for Prince of Tennis on hiatus. I want to focus on certain fandoms for a couple of months. It's the new plan of attack. (grins evily)

PT: Nope. My aunt and uncle never said 'eh'. They're Canadian. I dunno, never saw much difference between Canadians and Americans. Okay, there's the fact that the restaurants were different. The library cards were definitely different and so were the street lights and stuff. Instead of Spanish, signs had French translations though I don't remember seeing many French people myself. My Canadian relatives by marriage knew French but I don't know how much…

Trails off.

Subtitles: Hey, the banana's still in her ear.

Porny: No wonder she's rambling like that.

"…"

PT: Well, I guess I'll start reading Prince of Tennis, now. I'm starting to read more manga now, anyway.

Porny: Oh, dear God.

PT: So… this is awfully weird. I mean, seriously, three Asian sounds at the same time? O.o I WANNA HEAR IT!! :D

"…"

PT: It's not that weird!! It's awesome!!

Porny: You just said that it was weird.

PT: Shut up. Stupid boy.

"…"

Porny: I'm an owl.

PT: Stupid boy.

"…"

Porny: I –

PT: Stupid boy.

Porny: Hello?

PT: Stupid boy.

Porny: H –

PT: Stupid boy.

"…"

Porny: Okaaaaaayyyyyy. I –

PT: Stupid boy.

"…"

PT: Stupid boy.

"…"

PT: Stupid boy.

Giant screen appears!! Dondondondonnnnn…

_We are experiencing MAJOR technical difficulties…and meaples :3 See ya in a sec._

Voice: I'M A MEAPLE!!

Other Voice: NO, I AM!!

Voice: I!

Other Voice: I!

Voice: I!

Other Voice: I!

Voice: I!

Other Voice: I!

Voice: I!

Other Voice: I!

New Voice: SHUT UP!!

_We're back!!_

PT: Damn TT.TT Anyways, here's the newest review from DUCKSTAR!!

_**good chappie!  
Did ya read my new story, "Cat Like"?  
Request for Twilight: BURN PORNY AT STAKE!  
Porny: I have grenades placed around the tree. Hand over Jaypaw's magic stick, or be blown up.**_

PT: Oooo, yeah. I read Cat Like as soon as I read this review!!

Porny: Shut up, I'm trying to eat a dry cater – WWHHHHAAAAAAAAA!! STAKE!? GRENADES!?

Looks out window!!

Porny: OMG!! GGGGLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUXXXX!! WWWWWWWWHHHHYYYYYYYYYY!!

Twilight: Heheheheheh…

Lightning crackles and he grabs Porny. He ties him to a pole and starts a fire.

Porny: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!! IIIIII HHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVVEEEEE NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTT HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDD AAAAAAAA TTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMME YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTT!!

"…"

PT: I thought you did?

Soren faints.

"…"

Porny; Oh.

"…"

Porny: I don't have Jaypaw's magic stick!

Shifty eyes.

Porny: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Dies.

PT: OMG!! YOU KILLED KENNY!! YOU BASTARDS!!

Points at Twilight.

Twilight: Rub my fat belly.

"…"

Stick falls out of Porny's feathers.

"…"

Stare.

PT: Dude, WTF.

Delivers.

PT: Lalalalala…looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooloooooo!! Lalalala…

"…"

PT: I made up a creature once. He was called a Lala.

"…"

Suddenly, Twilight jumps and kisses PT.

"…"

PT: YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! MMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

Runs out the door.

PT: Oh yeah, Duckstar's grenade request will be completed next chappy!!

Everyone else: ??

Twilight: I have a BBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDD feeling about this…

"…"

Twilight: Dead Promises. ONE HUNDREDTH REVIEW!! W00T!

_**LOL, definitely cant wait til the cake is utterly finished.  
This chapter was definitely funny. (dont forget the shoe choo!)  
I have a simple request for Otulissa:  
Eat the traitor bagel from the youtube video "Rub My Fat Belly" (it's a youtube poop found on youtube! XD)  
And I guess here's a request for Porny (i think I'm getting teh hang of this!):  
Since your the king of the gaybird mansion,sing "The bad touch" by the bloodhound gang along with Twilight and Digger.  
That will be all. WOOHOO! ONE HUNDRETH REVIEW!!XDXDXDXD**_

'DP

Twilight: Here it is!!

Otulissa: The cake looks great.

Reaches out.

Otulissa: OOOOOOooooooo…

Twilight: HEY!!

Slaps away hand.

Twilight: BACK OFF!! OR MEET THE TRAITOR BAGEL!! MWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAAAA!!

Otulissa edges away.

Otulissa: No…

Falls into a room with the traitor bagel.

Twilight: Eat it!!

Otulissa: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

"…"

Twilight: Oh, yeah. Here's a translation of the Spanish song:

**_It's sunny. It's not raining_**_**  
**_**_And we like the sea_**_**  
**_**_We're going to the beach_**_**  
**_**_We're going to swim_**

**_I'm going to the beach_**_**  
**_**_And you're going with me_**_**  
**_**_I'm going to the beach_**_**  
**_**_What a pretty day!_**

**_I'm going to the beach_**_**  
**_**_And you're going with me_**_**  
**_**_I'm going to the beach_**_**  
**_**_What a pretty day!_**

"…"

Gylfie: OMG. That is so gay.

"…"

Soren: PT's gonna kill you.

Gylfie: She'll never know.

PT pops out in flames.

PT: GYLFIE!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!

Drags into a hole.

"…"

Twilight: Er… GOING NOW!!

Flies off.

Twilight puts the cake down with the note and goes to Wayside School.

Twilight: What the…

Mrs. Gorf: APPLES!!

Twilight: HEY!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!!

Mrs. Jewls: NO TALKING!

Writes Twilight on Discipline List.

Twilight: But –

Mrs. Jewls: You stole Dead Promises' Wii, you copied the YouTube poop, but WORST OF ALL, YOU TALKED!! OWLS DON'T TALK!!

Twilight: I –

Leslie: YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Paul: I didn't do it! The owl did!

Twilight: WHAT!?

Mrs. Jewls circles Twilight's name.

Twilight: I'm all the way over here!

Mrs. Jewls: Paul said you did it!

Twilight: But –

Todd: Hello?

Mrs. Jewls: That is why, Todd, that you go home with the kindergarteners.

Todd: But it's the owl's fault!

Twilight: HOW?!

Mrs. Jewls: Yes, Todd, how?

Todd: It just is!

Camera shuts down.

Twilight: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!


	22. Chapter 21

PT: Hi! :D I'm reading Fullmetal Alchemist and I'm fangirling Ed!

Drools.

"…"

PT: He's SO KAWAII, KAWAII, KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!! 8D

Porny: Oh, good God.

PT: KAWAIIIIIIIIIIII!!

"…"

Porny: Look, Demi, you can't have him because he's…

Breaks off and shifts eyes.

Porny: Never mind…

"…"

PT: Guess what? :D I've finally gotten my hands on Twilight, I just watched Avenue Q at Broadway a couple of weeks ago and my math teacher went down the dunk tank XP

"…"

Porny: And that is concerned with this how?!

"…"

Porny: HEY! I JUST GOT DEMI SPEECHLESS!

PT: LALALALALALA!! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC! EDWARD ELRIC!

"…"

Porny: Fuck TT-TT

Nyra: Can we get it over with? I wanna strip-tease with Twilight again.

PT: ON THE SET?!

Nyra: The camera WILL be off, won't it?

PT: No…it won't turn off. Stupid thing.

Nyra: Oh.

PT: By the way, I just wrote a new Ga'Hoole fic!! LuttaHoole :3 Thanks to ezyl's girl for reading and reviewing :D

"…"

_We are experiencing technical difficulties. Plus, you absolutely CANNOT hear the violent noise in the background._

Violent noise.

_I said you CAN'T HEAR IT!! BACK OFF!!_

Voice: Where am I? Hello? Al? WTF!?

PT: OMG!! IT'S ED!!

_We're back!!_

PT: When Ed's eighteen, he's not cute. He's hot :D

"…"

Porny: HELL NO.

PT: LALALALALALA!! EEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!

Charges off to stalk Ed.

"…"

Porny: Damn, that girl is going to get herself killed one day.

Soren: Erm, actually—damn, that girl is going to get someone killed one day. It's got to be me!!

"…"

Porny: The freakishness of the world.

"…"

Soren: Er…

"…"

Soren: Oooookaaaaaayyyyy, here's a review from ezyl's girl:

_**My friend says that, in every scene of Vampire Knight, the characters look like they're gonna have sex. That is SO true...**_

(-rolls eyes- The pervert awakens.)

You should watch the Prince of Tennis anime. It's slower than the manga, but so much funnier. Seriously. There's 178 eps and 30 OVAs, tho, so it'll take much longer...

Porny: Yeah, PT's been watching that lately. Seriously, that girl is weird. It's just guys playing tennis.

Soren whacks him over the head.

Soren: NO ONE NEEDS YOUR NEGATIVITY!!

Porny whimpers.

Gylfie (wincing in pain): Ow, being beat up was bad... PT loves Prince of Tennis.

Porny: And now…introducing…LUCY THE SLUT!!

"…"

Gylfie: Shit.

Pelli: You went to Broadway with PT to watch Avenue Q, didn't you?

Porny: Yup :D

"…"

Pelli: I HEARD THERE WAS SEX IN IT!! WHAT WAS IT LIKE?! TELL ME!!

Porny: Hehehe…

Both hide in a hole to discuss the sex scene.

Soren: Shit.

Gylfie: So…is Twilight back yet?

Soren: He came home on the kindergarten bus last time. Demi sent him to Naruto for a while. She wanted him to learn about sake there. That girl's creepy.

"…"

Gylfie: Weird.

PT comes in with a signed photo of Ed.

PT: I'M BACK!!

Soren and Gylfie: O.o

Soren: That was awfully fast, Demi.

PT: Yeah, well…I just 'borrowed' some of Naruto's ninja wire and kidnapped Ed with it :D

"..."

Soren: Now…from Dead Promises:

_**LOL, so funny!  
ED: Canadians are weird  
Dana: ENOUGH OF THE Freaking kidney!  
I never knew Coryn was such a jiglelow!  
Threesome, eh?  
I always have thought of there being a slash relationship  
In Guardians Of Ga'hoole for once!  
So I guess here's one (might be) last request.  
Twilight, I want you to tell Digger how you really fell  
About him, and Digger...you do the same.  
Then sing to each other one of these three songs (whichever one you like the best):**_

Heaven by Bryan Adams  
Cant Fight This Feeling anymore by Reo Speedwagon  
Killing Loneliness by HIM

That will be all, au revoir!

'DP

P.S., thanks for reading and liking my story, I always appreciate to obtain feedback (I'm just daft enough to never reply :'( )

PT: Wait a sec…hang on.

Soren: What?

PT: You know, I started this chapter two weeks ago and didn't continue until today and I just got a new review from Adderstar of ValorClan.

Soren: So? I—

Reads the new review.

Soren: Oh. You've already mentioned FMA before you got this review and now…

PT: Yeah.

Soren: O.o

PT: Have you watched Kung Fu Panda before? It's awesome :D I had a little problem at the theater with the manager, though, before I could watch it. Watch it XD

"…"

Soren: Can we PLEASE continue before we go way off topic.

PT: LE GASP! A few days ago or something, I got sent a video on YouTube and I clicked a link to it! YouTube doesn't work on my computer 'coz they keep bitching about the JavaScript and Adobe even though I keep on trying to fix that! Guess what, it worked! ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE VIDEOS STARTED WORKING PROPERLY!! LE GASP!! CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL, CHEVAL…

Soren: Off-topic.

Twilight comes in, looking like Ed did after he met Envy for the first time.

PT: Holy shit—what happened to you, Twilight?

Twilight (growling and coughing): I…HATE…KINDERGARTENERS…

Collapses on PT and kisses her.

"…"

PT: HOLY SHIT!!

Kicks Twilight in the—

Zoom to different scene.

Reader person: DICK!! DICK KING-SMITH IS MY FAVE WRITER!! LOLZ!! DICK!!

Zoom back.

Twilight: I hate you.

PT: :D

Digger: I…I hate Twilight.

"…"

Digger: I MEAN, LOOK AT HIM!!

Twilight: Ohayo.

Digger: SEE!? IT'S NIGHTTIME!! PT'S SUPPOSED TO BE IN BED BUT SHE'S TYPING THIS!!

Points at PT.

PT sweatdrops and looks guilty.

"…"

Digger: I HATE TWILIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHHTTTTT!!

Twilight: And I wuvs you, twoo.

Collapses and makes out with Digger. Holy shit… Digger's smaller, so he can't get away.

PT: Aaaww, young love.

Digger (growling): Wait till this is over. I'll—

Twilight eats his beak.

"…"

PT: OMG…

"…"

PT: Twilight, you're supposed to sing!!

Twilight (not letting go of Digger):

_**Memories, sharp as daggers  
Pierce into the flesh of today  
Suicide of love took away all that matters  
And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart**_

With the venomous kiss you gave me  
I'm killing loneliness

Digger:_** Killing loneliness  
**_Twilight:_** With the warmth of your arms you saved me,  
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you  
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb  
I'm killing loneliness**_

Nailed to the cross, together  
As solitude begs us to stay  
Disappear in the night, forever  
And denounce the power of death over our souls and secret words are sent to start a war

With the venomous kiss you gave me  
I'm killing loneliness

Diggy (huhuhu…): _**Killing loneliness  
**_Twilight: _**With the warmth of your arms you saved me,  
I'm killing loneliness with you  
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb  
I'm killing loneliness**_

Killing loneliness

With the venomous kiss you gave me  
I'm killing loneliness

Diggy:_** Killing loneliness  
**_Twilight:_** With the warmth of your arms you saved me**_

PT: O.O

Twilight: Thank you.

Goes back to eating Diggy. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

PT: Huh, naughty subtitles.

Hey!! I'm not the subtitles! I'm the action part!!

PT: Ooookkkkkaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy… Next review from Ih8Bush:

_**Hey PT what song is that and who's it by (the one you were singing at the start)  
you should try Halo in fact i'm going to write a fic kinda like this for it  
hey porny I know a good game for you Fable you can dress up as a girl a run around a place called the Darkwood Bordello having sex with men for money.**_

PT: Oh, the song's 'What Hurts The Most'. It's originally sung by Mark Willis, but Rascal Flatts and CASCADA used it, too. I guess I'll try Halo…if I could.

Porny: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

"…"

Porny: K, gimme that!!

Grabs magic sake, drinks and dives into the game. He is now in the game.

"…"

PT: Erm…pretending that didn't happen.

"…"

PT: IT'S A WHALE!!...PANDA!!

Soren: Stop ripping off nigahiga.

PT points at Soren.

PT: MICHAEL JACKSON!!

"…"

PT:

_**I'M A BARBIE GIRL—**_

_**IN A BARBIE WORLD—**_

Soren: Oh no!! Don't start on that!!

PT:

_**Imagination, li—**_

Soren shoves someone in the room.

PT: OMG!! IT'S ED!!

Ed backs away slowly.

PT: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!

_More technical difficulties, Goddammit. What the hell is wrong with PT!?_

PT: Ed's cute, but then he became hot when he turned 18 :D

Voice: AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!

_We're back…_

Soren: I'm Soren.

Porny: I'm Porny.

Pelli: I'm Pelli.

Soren: I'm Porny.

Pelli: I'm Soren.

Porny: I'm Pelli.

Porny: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Pelli: A wood chuck could chuck all the wood a wood chuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

Soren: Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

Turns and pecks Pelli.

Pelli: Aaawww…

Subtitles: Feel her boob!!

"…"

PT smacks—Oh, wait, she can't smack him.

Subtitles: Haha!!

PT: Avenue Q rip-off!!

_More technical difficulties XO_

"…"

_We're back!!_

PT: Can we wrap this up before anything else happens??

Pelli: Ja.

Soren: This is from Duckstar:

_**Random question: Has Soren ever traveled to China?**_

Soren: No, but I will someday!! I want to hit on a phoe—

PT towers over him.

PT: WHAT?!

Subtitles: Note that PT's Chinese. Uh-oh…

PT snaps her fingers. Two globby guys appear and drag Soren away.

Soren: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Disappears.

PT: Oh, wait, tomorrow's a quarter day at school. We only stay at school for one hour. Don't see the point of going.

Pelli: Erm…Adderstar of ValorClan—she's reviewed three times. I'll separate the reviews with lines of O's without italics, boldfaces, or underlines:

_**PT: HAVE YOU EVER READ/WATCHED FMA (FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST)?? OMG BEST **_

_**ANIME/MANGA EVER!  
(Which is really saying much since I used to profess to hate anime/manga. Anyhoo, I guess I don't anymore. It's grown on me.)  
Twilight: If you could have any superpower, what would it be?  
PT: If the answer to the first question is YES, can you bring some FMA characters on the show? (I'm a rabid Edward Elric and/or Roy Mustang fangirl, just so you know. -drools- omg haawwt.)**_

Ooooooooooooooooooooo

_**Oh, heh, I looked at the rest of your fics, and I guess you do like FMA. YES! YES! YES! FMA RO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-OCKS!  
I'll say it again. Roy Mustang ha-a-a-a-w-w-w-t. Edward Elric super ha-a-a-a-w-w-w-t.**_

Roy: He-e-ey... why is he hotter than me? Nothing's hotter than me, I'm the Flame Alchemist!

Edward: -singsongy- I'm hotter than you are! PSY-Y-Y-Y-Y-YCH!

Adder: -drools-

Ooooooooooooooooooooo

_**Wow, I just looked at your other fics. I guess you do like FMA! YES! YES! YEHES! Once again,  
Roy Mustang ha-a-a-a-a-w-w-w-t.  
Edward Elric double ha-a-a-a-a-w-w-w-t.**_

Roy Mustang: Wait a minute... why is he 'double hawt' and I'm just 'hawt'?!

Edward Elric: NYAHAH! PSYCH!

Adder: -drools-

PT: Yeah, all of a sudden, I'm going into anime and manga left to right…

Porny: That sounded wrong.

PT (hitting him on the head): Yeah, I'll consider FMA. Mwahahahaa, I'm an Ed fangirl. SQUEE!! HE'S CUTE IN THE SERIES, BUT HE'S HOOOT IN THE MOVIE!!

Porny: Ow… You already said that…three times or something.

PT (smacking him): Ed's just SHORT. I mean, I'll be thirteen in August and he's almost sixteen, but we're the SAME EXACT HEIGHT!!

Porny: He'll be mad at you.

PT (kicking him in the crotch): Mustang's hot, too, but I'm not a huge fangirl on him. But, he's hot :D I've watched the FMA movie, the first and third episode and I'm reading chapter 44 right now—wait, I'm getting to 45... If you like humor, try reading the FMA fic, Human transmutation by mewsakura1. I mean, you might laugh. Seriously, XD

Porny faints.

Twilight: Erm… I'd like to fly!!

"…"

Diggy: This is why I hate him. Seriously, is he an owl or NOT?! Or else he's part of Britney Spears' species.

PT: LEAVE BRITNEY ALOOOOOOOOONNNNE!! IF ANYONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH BRITNEY, YOU'LL HAVE TO GET THROUGH DIGGY FIRST!!

Diggy: WHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT!!

Camera: Errrm, I'll just break down now.

Everyone turns to camera.

Everyone besides the camera: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Suddenly, grenades blow the tree up.

Everyone: WWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

PT: Hey, we're alive!

Diggy: Where's Por—

Sees Porny, blasted to bits.

Diggy: Oh…

Drags the bits away.

Diggy: I can finally…erm…PLAY with someone now without getting into trouble! YAY!! :3

Everyone else: Shit O.o

Camera breaks down.


	23. Chapter 22

PT: Hello; I have watched Titanic again for the first time in almost five years. I have a dog. I like meaples—

Gets melon thrown in face by Nyra.

PT: HEY!!

Kicks Nyra.

PT: GO DIE IN A HOLE, LADY!!

"…"

Everyone else: O.o

"…"

PT:

_**Shawty had them apple bottom jeans, JEANS;**_

_**Boots with the fur, WITH THE FUR—**_

_**The whole club was looking at HER—**_

Bash: DEMI!! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LET THE CHARACTERS IN!!

"…"

PT: OH, RIGHT!!

Goes over to door.

PT: WE ARE BRINGING IN CHARACTERS FROM FMA AND WARRIORS!! W00T!!

Characters come in.

PT: EEEEEEEEE!! ED!!

Glomps Ed and hands him a bottle of milk.

Ed: GGGGGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!

_TECH-NI-CAL—DIFFICULTIES…STAND BY, NOW_

Random voice: You way too beautiful, girl/ That's why it'll never work/ You had me suicidal (suicidal)_ —_/ When you say it's over—

_WE'RE BACK!! CAPS LOOOOOOOCK!_

PT: First review from Adderstar of ValorClan:

_**'Kay, if you do include FMA charries...**_

Edward-- Dude, in the movie, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR AWESOME BRAID?? TAHT BRAID MADE YOU UBER HAWT!

Alphonse-- In the movie, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING ED'S CLOTHES?? Also, your hairdo was adorable. What's the name of your stylist? I gotta give my big brother a makeover.  
The Silenced (my big brother): HEY!

Roy Mustang-- Can I hug you? does not wait for any answer, but glomps anyway, sobbing YOU CRIED WHEN HUGHES DIED! so did I.

Riza Hawkeye-- still clinging to mustang Eat your heart out, woman. He's mine.

Aanyway... (oh how the proud have fallen)

Blythe-- Can you sing 'Bad Reputation' for us? Apparently you're good at singing, so... yeah.

Unnamed fortune teller bunnyrabbit-- Why did you have to die?

Striga-- ...Um, you know how you hate pride and vanity and all that? Well... if you're consorting with Nyra, she's probably the most arrogant, proud mofo on the face of the earth. Just so you know.

Kalo-- You rock, lady. You just... rock. I just wanted you to know that.

Cleve-- reads the end of Exile Dude, what the hell took you so damn long?

PT: N-N-N-N-N-N-N-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-! WHEN WILL I EVER READ EXILE!! TT-TT

Ed: Erm…I just didn't feel like braiding my hair anymore…it'd stick out in Germany.

Sweatdrops and inches away from fangirls.

Al: I just liked it!! My stylist…is…

Points at Winry.

Winry: ??

PT: Is that the truth, Winry? I—HENRY!! YOU FUCKING RETARD!!

Everyone else: ??

PT: I got Outcast on Thursday! On the last day of school! I was just saving it to read after updating and that bastard Henry tipped it off the table!! It fell and the corners of bent like hell!! WHY'S HE ALWAYS DAMAGING MY STUFF!!

Kills the little bastard.

_We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by._

Violent noise in the background.

PT: FUCKING BASTARD!! BRAT! BITCH!! FUCKING FAGGOT!! FUCKI—Oooo, is that a French flag I just saw!?

More violent noise!! DIE!!

_Let's just get it over with…!_

Porny: Don't worry, Brightheart. The creepy Demi who's just made it to eighth grade has been sent to the local asylum.

Brightheart: I'm not scared!!

Porny: Yes, you are!

Brightheart: I…!

Porny: Don't worry, honey.

Cloudtail: WWHHHHHAAAAAAATTTT!!

Porny: Did you know that Brightheart's my mate?

Cloudtail: WTF!!

Attacks Porny.

Cloudtail: YOU LITTLE **BEEEEEEEEPPP**!! YOU LITTLE BBBBBEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!

"…"

Everyone watches as Cloudtail beats the shit out of Porny.

"…"

Brightheart: Shit.

Whitewing: MOM?!

Frostfur: WHAT WAS THAT!!

Brackenfur, Cinderpaw and Thornclaw: DID OUR SISTER JUST CURSE!!

Everyone turns to look at Cinderpaw.

Brackenfur: Brightheart's your aunt!

Leafpool: Erm…here's the truth: Cinderpaw's Cinderpelt.

"…"

Frostfur: What? Cinderpaw's cinder pelt?

"…"

Pelli: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Whacks Frostfur over the head.

Pelli: HOW STUPID ARE YOU!!

Constantly whacks Frostfur over the head.

Pelli: I—

Stops whacking.

Pelli: HEY!! THERE'S A THUNDERSTORM OUTSIDE!! YYYYYYYEEEEEEEE!!

Frostfur: Circle, circle, dot, dot/ I got my cootie shot.

Tigerstar whacks her over the head.

Pelli: HEY! TIGERSTAR'S ACTUALLY USEFUL FOR ONCE!!

Tigerstar: Well, PT's not here. Stupid Twolegs. That includes those guys there.

Points at FMA characters.

"…"

Black Hayate and Den growl and jump him. Demi comes back.

PT: YYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! YOU MADE FUN OF ED!! DON'T INSULT ED!!

Attacks Tigerstar and constantly bitchslaps him.

Tigerstar: LADY!! CALM DOWN!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BITCHSLAP ME!!

Stops attacking.

PT: You're right.

Starts poking him.

PT: I NEED TO PLAY CHINESE POKER WITH YOU!!

Tigerstar: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! FREAK!!

PT: IDK!!

"…"

Porny: It's idc, not 'I don't know", smart one.

PT kicks him back into Cloudtail.

Points at Mustang dramatically!!

PT: YOU'RE HOT BUT I STILL PREFER ED!

Mustang gets hugged by Adderstar.

Mustang: …Hughes was always ranting about his daughter…

PT: DON'T BE SO COLD-HEARTED!!

Whacks him over the head.

Hawkeye stares.

"…"

Adderstar: Eat your heart out woman; he's mine.

Hawkeye loads her gun.

Gets run over by PT.

PT: EEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!

Ed: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

PT stops right in front of him.

PT: Oh, and I just wrote a new FMA humor fic dedicated to Adderstar :D Who should I dedicate to next…

Hawkeye: Wow…?

PT: I was bored; shaddap.

Glomps Ed.

Ed: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Blythe: Erm…okay, I sing it.

"…"

Striga: NO! THEN YOU'LL BE SHOWING OFF—

PT whacks him over the head.

Brightheart: Go on, Blythe.

Blythe backs aways from the scary cats, humans and owls.

Blythe: Okay…

Blythe: Er…

PT: WHAT!!

Blythe: I don't know which Bad Reputation it is! There's one for Death Cab For Cutie, another for Fr—

PT: Okay, we get it. You suck, Blythe.

"…"

Blythe whacks PT over the head.

PT: WTF!?

Bunnyrabbit one: Erm…to save Kalo?

"…"

PT: YOU'RE CUTE!

Huggles.

"…"

Striga: Erm…

Shifty eyes.

Striga: Nah, she's just good at singi—

PT: OMG!! YOU LIKE NYRA!! W00T!!

"…"

Striga flees the room crying.

Kalo: Erm…

Blushes.

Cleve: Uh… Well, I was distracted by a whore!! A HOOKER TOO! PLUS, A PROSTITUTE!!

"…"

PT: They're all the same, smart one.

"…"

Cleve: Oh…

Otulissa: That means…

Bitchslaps Cleve and flees the room.

Cleve: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I'M RUINED.

Jaypaw: STOP WHINING!!

Cleve: SHUDDUP!!

Flees the room after Otulissa.

"…"

Brightheart: Uh…last review from ezyl's girl:

_**Lucky you. Being as tall as Ed. He is kinda cute, by the way...**_

/Urg./

I have reduced Yami to single-worded phrases! Hoorayness!

/Crap./

PT, you bad girl, you have been cussing way too much for your own good...

/No!/

And will you ever write any PoT fics?

And did you know that I share a birthday with Atobe Keigo? Isn't that HAWT?

/Not. Really./

And, finally a question for Gylfie: Are you going to die anytime soon?

PT: Nice, Yami :D I probably will write PoT fics, but I need to think of a plot first. Yeah, I do cuss a lot :D

Sits down.

PT: Yup, that's hawt. Seriously. He's a little cute…

Shifty eyes.

PT: PUT A BANANA IN YOU—

Gets whacked over the head by Tiggerstar!! TIGGERSTAR!!

Tiggerstar: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!

Porny: Burn.

"…"

Everyone turns to Gylfie.

Everyone: Gylfie?

Gylfie: O.o Am I going to die…?

Everyone else: We have no idea.

Brightheart: Except Rock.

Points at Rock.

Berrynose: Holy crap, you're ugly, Rock.

Rock: HEY!!

Whacks him over the head with the magic stick.

Rock: EAT MORE CARROTS!!

Whacks him some more.

Rock: I got the magic stick/ Dunno if I could hit once; I could hit twice/ I—

Tiggerstar: Shaddap.

Lionpaw looks at him.

Lionpaw: GRANDPA!!

Glomps.

O.o

Everyone crowds at the camera.

Everyone: BYE!! PT'S GOING TO CANADA SO SHE MIGHT NOT BE BACK NEXT WEEK!! YEAH!! LATER!!

Giant sweatdrops break the camera.


	24. Chapter 23

PT: HEY! I'M BBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!! HEY, EVER BEEN TO QUEBEC?? THE CHANGING OF THE GUARD IS CREEPY!! OH, I WATCHED DEATH NOTE IN THE HOTEL! DID YOU KNOW THAT THE FRENCH, IN NARUTO, PRONOUNCE SASUKE'S NAME AS SA-SOO-KAY?! FRENCH PEOPLE!! SO MANY FRENCH PEOPLE THERE!! I GOT A MOOSE PLUSHIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!

Throws plushy at Porny.

PT: Oh, btw, I just watched Prince of Tennis. Hahaha! That veggie juice stuff was awesome!! Fuji's so CCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL!!

"…"

Porny: Holy crap. Let's just get it over with so I won't have to stay with you. First review from…Ih8Bush:

_**I got ASk Halo up finally you know the fic I was Telling you about  
hey Striga or whatever the hell your name is I heard you had a history of Kitten huffing would your like to share your expirences with us**_

PT: Oh yeah, I read it. It was good :3 and—

Striga: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA……………………………………………………………………………………………………………!! Kitten huffing?!

Runs away.

"…"

PT: Because he's so weird, he must be writing a report about it -.-U

Striga (thinking no one's listening): I'M WRITING A REPORT ABOUT IT IN MY DIARY!!

"…"

PT: Knew it.

Ed: …Erm…do I have to read the rest of the reviews? PT, don't—

PT shakes milk and needles in his face.

Ed: —.—U Next review from Duckstar.

PT: Thanks for your review on KITS ARE SCARY! :D!

Ed: Yeah, review:

_**LOL!  
Has anyone ever listened to "Firefly" by A Teens?  
For some reason, that song makes me think of Firestar and Sandstorm!**_

"…"

Firestar and Sandstorm: What?

Hollypaw, Jaypaw, and Lionpaw: GRANDPA!! GRANDMA!!

Glomp.

"…"

PT: Weirdo.

Kalo: Well, I've listened to Firefly before.

Porny glomps her.

"…"

PT: Holy. That was random.

Turns and glomps Ed.

PT: SSSSSSSSSSSSQQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

"…"

Twilight dumps them into a hole.

Twilight (who is being sensible for ONCE): I—SHUT UP, SUBTITLES!! Next review from ezyl's girl:

_**I've only read the first four Warrior books...lost interest after that, for absolutely no reason.**_

/It's actually coz she's growing more and more perverted by the minute, and reading a TezukaAtobe lemon.../

Am not! Getting more and more perverted, I mean.

/I am coughing./

And if you do make a PoT fic, can you dedicate it to me? Please? Please? PLEASE?

/Shut up, Connie./

Hey! I'm the one who's supposed to say that.

CleveOtulissa is the crappiest thing ever. I will kill Cleve for proprosing to her. Rawr. And did you know that the next GoG book will be the last? All of our precious owlkins will be gone, soon.

/Thank GOD.../

That's mean, Yami.

Twilight breaks down crying.

Twilight: WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

PT and others pop out.

Rock: Eat more carrots!!

Hits everyone on the head.

PT bitchslaps him.

PT: YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!

"…"

PT: Yeah, sure, I'll write one :D I just thought up of a developing plot. I'm not saying what it is though. Not until I publish it :) Yup, it's sad. War of The Ember will be the last book :( Yami's mean TT—TT

Porny: Yeah? Well, you're crazy.

PT kicks him.

Cleve comes in.

Otulissa: Cleve?!

Cleve: Hi, Otulissa!

Holds out ring.

Cleve: Will you be my mate?

"…"

PT: Oh shit.

Cleve: Huh?

_You know what I'm here for :P_

PT: Mada mada dane.

"…"

_Let's goooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…_

_WHA!?_

_I mean, let's ggggggggoooooooooo!! Yeah! :D_

"…" _Yeah……… Yah. Ja._

PT: Yeah.

Ed: I can't believe what happened to that owl…

Pelli: Ow… Hey, Ed, if you and PT were the only people left on Earth?

"…"

Both: YOU'RE SICK!!

"…"

PT: Oh, hey. Fuji and Eiji both have sisters. Wow.

"…"

Everyone else smack their foreheads.

PT: Hey, I started that Goddamned summer school today. Guess what? I met Timothy Yun there. He's in the same class as me!

Smacks forehead.

PT: He's in the same middle school as me!! WTF!! I'M STUCK IN THAT BASTARD'S CLASS!! GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! xO

"…"

PT: HEY! I JUST REALIZED!! TWILIGHT!! ED WAS SUPPOSED TO READ THE LAST QUESTION! YOU LITTLE…!!

Twilight: HEY! YOU WERE BEING DEMI!! I HAD NO CHOICE!!

The two start wrestling.

"…"

Al: Shit.

"…"

Everyone else: WTF!? YOU CURSED!!

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!_

Gaki (who the f is that?!): LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!! WHAT ARE MEAPLES!?

_Yeah…_

Tiggerstar (hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa…): SHAAAAAAAADDAAAAAAAAPPPP. Last review from Dead Promises:

_**You're kidding, right?  
Wow, this just gets more humorific (catchy underused word)  
So now Ed's going to be there, huh?  
I'm going to get a kick out of this.**_

Here's a question for Ed:

Doesnt it make you feel different to be taller than all the owls in GOG? Sort of makes you cry, huh? Plus, have you noticed Envy's not your stepbrother in the manga? (hell, you probably know how envy REALLY looks like! Oo)

For Warriors:  
I've never read Warriors... BUT I've read the outsiders!  
Does that count?

Twilight  
No songs now, just a simple question. And since I know you're the only one who speaks spanish,(and if not, oh well!) I'm going to spoil you something from the FMA manga: Sabías que el hijo de Ira (osea King Bradley) llamado Selim es Soberbia? el primer homonculo?

Anyway, here's one more question.

Nyra, if you had the philosopher's stone, what would you do:

A. Conquer the owl kingdom with it.  
B. Create another homunculus with it (in spite of the fact there are only 7 deadly sins, which is what the homunculi are based ff of)  
C. Use it as exibit A to sue Harry Potter for infridgement

That will be all, thank you for your time!  
See ya later!

'DP

PT: I'm okay with the outsiders.

Holds down a pissed Ed.

Ed: DON'T CALL ME SMALL!! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A GRAIN OF RICE BRAT WHO NEEDS TO BE SEEN WITH THE BEST MICROSCOPE IN THE WORLD…!!

Al: BRO! He didn't say anything like that!

PT: Hm, no wonder Envy's dad in the manga is a Hohenheim look-alike.

Twilight: Oh, really?! HE IS!? :D

PT: What? Ah, I'm still working on Spanish. Let's see… What…the…son…of…King Bradley...is…the?... Homunculus…

Twilight: Geez.

Nyra: I WILL CONQUER THE OWL KINGDOM!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!! GIMME THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE!!

"…"

Nyra: Fimme.

"…"

PT: You mean fimme, not gimme…INUI-SENPAI!!

"…"

Everyone else: WTF!?

Camera: Erm…you know, maybe I should—

Everyone: NOOOOOOOO!!

Camera shuts down.

Everyone: SHIT!! YAROU!!


	25. Chapter 24

PT: Sorry if this is several hours late

PT: Sorry if this is several hours late! I was forced to stay in New Jersey for a while and everything, and I had to go to this special program that does FALSE ADVERTISING!! STAR YOUTH CLAIMED THAT THERE WAS NO HOMEWORK AND NOW THEY GIVE US HOMEWORK! WTF!!

Throws moose plushy at Nyra.

Subtitles: You know, to lighten the tension, what's your favorite songs?

Nyra: Circle Circle Dot Dot.

"…"

Soren: Milkshake :3

"…"

PT: I Like Meaples.

"…"

Porny: There's no such SONG!!

PT: Hmph, fine. White Line.

"…"

Porny: Control your Prince of Tennis obsession, geez.

"…"

PT: But Fuji's AWESOME… Especially when he opens his eyes and stuff.

Ed (desperate): So, you're giving up on me?

"…"

PT glomps him.

"…"

Porny: Guess not…

PT: What? It's not okay to fangirl more than one person?

"…"

Porny: Good point…

PT: Oh, and I've finally found my Playbird draft satisfying. Sorry if it's short. I might write a sequel to it if you like it. It should be out soon now, count on it. I know it's a month later than promised. Sorry…

Porny: Almost TWO.

PT puts goat plushy on foot and kicks Porny with it.

PT: Did I mention La Citadelle de Quebec? Guards screamed at each other in French and one guy held a goat…

Porny: Please, no…

Ed: Erm…you know, this is ezyl's girl's review:

_**I am being jailed. This will be my last review in a while. T.T**_

/-Throws confetti-/

TezuAto is very yummy. And so is TezuFuji. Don't gag. PoT introduced me to yaoi, and I'm not leaving anytime soon.

_**Oh, and drop the forum GodChildShipping, why don'tcha? It's V's, Icy's, and my pet project. We need FAR more members. XD**_

PT: Sure, I've been trying to read Percy Jackson for a while now. Though, I haven't been to the library because I'm reading Wicked.

Porny: Lol, you snapped at the teacher's assistant when she bitched at you during summer school. Then, she was like, "It's a good book" when she saw you read it.

PT: That relates how??

"…"

Porny: Hell no. We passed Lafayette Street.

PT: Too much RANDOMNESS!!

"…"

PT: Yeah, I like yaoi now :3 I don't know about TezuAto, but I like TezuFuji :D

Ed: You know, I have no idea where SakuFuji came from.

PT waves milk and needles in his face.

Ed shrinks back.

Ed: Crap.

Al: It's okay, Brother!

Ed: Ssssuuuuuurrrrrrreeeee…

PT: I'm listening to White Line now :D

"…"

Porny: Geez…

Gets kicked by—

Porny: BACK OFF, YOU STUPID CAMERA!!

_YA KNOW, WE HAVE TOO MANY TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES…!_

PT: Lalalalalalalalala… BBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!

Random voice: Don't…do…that…

_We're back. Shut up, PT, before I feed you Veggie juice._

PT: Okay, we're—SHUT THE F UP, SUBTITLES!!

Ed: Oooooookkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy…we'll just have Dead Promises now…:

_**LOL, once again, funn-eh!  
Sadly, this may also be my last review for a while (going  
somewhere)  
But hey! Here's a few more concerns!**_

Ed, did you know in the manga, your mother is not sloth but in  
the anime, she is?  
Plus, yeah, you're correct! Look up the manga homunculus Pride on wikipedia,  
And I guarantee, you will not be unamazed!!

Al, does it REALLY suck to not have emotions when you're in a tin can?

Twilight, since you're quite the artist, can you sing "Inside The Fire" by disturbed while coating yourself with rabbit bloo? (thought it would add gruesomenes to the song, like in the actual video of it!XD)

Soren, once the final book comes out, what will ou do?

A. Say farewell to all the characters you knew that didnt last  
longer than the first or second book  
B. Start a spin-off series of your own books  
C. Rub it in "A Series Of Unfortunate Events"'s face for creating more books than them  
D. None of the above, just rtire and play nintendo Wii

That will be all, thanks for your time  
And C U l8er!

'DP

PT: WHAT?! LOSER?!

Porny (gently): It's later, Demi.

PT: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…

Porny: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…

Both: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH……OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH……………………!!

PT: I knew that.

Porny: SSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE…

PT: YEAH!

Porny: YEAH!

PT: STOP COPYING ME!

Porny: STOP COPYING ME!

PT (thinking): _At least I'm safe inside my mind. And I'm ripping off SpongeBob Squarepants…_

Porny (thinking): _At least I'm safe inside my mind. And I'm ripping off SpongeBob Squarepants…_

PT: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

Porny: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

PT: I'm gay!  
Porny: Good for you!

"…"

PT: Damn…Naruto Abridged isn't working…

Porny: Geez.

PT: …I'm bored.

Porny: Gaybird Mansion!!

PT stuffs him into a box.

PT: Anyways, yeah. It is summer. I've already been to Canada…and my aunt's considering to go to Mexico.

Ed: I thought my mom's Trisha Elric?

PT: Grr…the only guy who uploaded English FMA had his account closed…

Al: It does suck…

PT: I feel sorry for your voice actors—they all have to speak into tin cans.

Al escapes the room crying.

Ed: Al!

Smacks PT:

Ed: Bitch!

Runs out.

Twilight: That was mean!

PT: Too bad. I like it when Ed cries. I like when he does anything xD

"…"

PT: Just sing.

Twilight starts painting himself with rabbit bloo.

Winry: Ewww…

Twilight:

_**Ooh, Devon, won't go to heaven**_

_**She's just another lost soul about to be mine again**_

_**Leave her, we will receive her**_

_**It is beyond your**_ _**control, will you ever meet again**_

_**Devon, no longer living**_

_**Who had been rendered unwhole as a little child…**_

PT: Is unwhole even a word?

Mustang: GASP!! YOU INTERRUPTED DURING A SONG!! NO ONE INTERRUPTS DURING A SONG!!

Porny: Shuttup!! You people need to keep going.

Turns to Twilight.

Porny (gently): Go ahead, Twilight.

"…"

PT: Pft.

Whispers to Soren.

PT: I could swear he likes Twilight or something…

Twilight:

…_**She was taken and then forsaken**_

_**You will remember it all, let it blow your mind again**_

_**Devon lies beyond this portal**_

_**Take the word of one immortal**_

_**Give your soul to me for eternity**_

_**Release your life to begin another time with her**_

_**End your grief with meee…**_

Huggles Soren.

"…"

…_**there's another way**_

_**Release your life, take your place inside the fire with her**_

_**Sever, now and forever**_

_**You're just another lost soul about to be mine again**_

_**See her, you'll never free her**_

_**You must surrender it all and give life to me again**_

_**Fire, all you desire**_

_**As she begins to turn cold and run out of time**_

_**You will shiver till you deliver**_

_**You will remember it all, let it blow your mind again**_

_**Devon lies beyond this portal**_

_**Take the word of one immortal**_

_**Give your soul to me for eternity**_

_**Release your life to begin another**_

_**End your grief with me, there's another way**_

_**Release your life, take your place inside the fire with her**_

_**Give your soul to me for eternity**_

_**Release your life to begin another time with her**_

_**End your grief with me, there's another way**_

_**Release your life, take your place inside the fire with her**_

_**Oooh, Devon, no longer living**_

_**Who had been rendered unwhole as a little child…**_

PT (whispering): NO SUCH WORD…

Twilight:

…_**She was taken and then forsaken**_

_**You will remember it all, let it blow your mind.**_

Clapping sounds.

PT: Unwhole's not a word.

Everyone else: GET OVER IT!!

Soren: I wanna play Wii, retire with Twilight and Porny and Digger in GayBird, and read PlayBird magazines all day!!

Porny: YAY!! You be the playboy, I'll be the bunny.

Soren: Haha! We wrote one more book than you in our series, Lemony Snicket!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!

"…"

Porny: That is so mean!

PT: Yeah, well, the world is quiet here.

"…"

PT: See?

Soren: You just ruined it.

PT: Well, Duckstar's review:

_**this is getting more and more humorous and strange!  
Twilight: Sing a tribute to the end of GoG.  
Kalo: Can owls eat hobbits?  
Porny: How do you feel about the missiles that I am launching at the tree? They should get there in about 5,4,3,2...  
-this message will destroy anyone within 10 km of it-**_

Twilight: Hmm, I got one!

"…"

Squishes into American flag.

PT: Get your own FLAG!!

Twilight:

_**If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life,  
And I had to start again with just my chicks and my mate  
I'd thank my lucky stars to be living here today,  
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away. **_

_**And I'm proud to be a Gahoolian where at least I know I'm free.  
And I won't forget the owls who died, who gave that right to me.  
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.  
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land Glaux bless the Great Tree**_

_**From the lakes of The Beaks, to the trees of Ambala,  
across the plains of Kuneer,from sea to shining sea, **_

_**From Beyond down to Silverveil and Retreat to Hoolemoore**_

_**Well, there's pride in every Gahoolian heart,  
and it's time to stand and say: **_

_**I'm proud to be an Gahoolian where at least I know I'm free.  
And I won't forget the owls who died, who gave that right to me.  
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today.  
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land Glaux bless the Great Tree**_

"…"

PT: You're kidding me………

Porny: Apparently, he's not.

"…"

PT: The bomb's supposed to explode now?

"…"

Everyone but Porny runs off to PT's house.

Subtitles: That's far enough.

BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!

PT: Porny's dead!

Everyone alive: Yea…!

Pelli: THE TREE'S GONE!!

Everyone else: TOO BAD!!

Pelli: Meanies!!

Runs into PT's local library.

Camera: I guess we'll just wrap it up here.

PT: Let's go to my backyard…

Sees where everyone went.

PT: …or my roof.

On the roof…

PT: You know, if I get caught hanging around here, I'm in trouble.

Ed: Yeah…

PT: I'm glad—you didn't get blown up :3

Ed: Geez, last review from…

Hawkeye: Adderstar of ValorClan…!:

_**Q FOR ALPHONSE! Dude, you're a fruckin idiot in manga Volume 4! What were you doing, believing what Barry the Chopper was telling you?! Couldn't you see he was just trying to psych you out?! Well?! Couldn't you?!  
Comment for Riza Hawkeye: (staring down her gun barrel) Er... haha, I was just kidding about that whole 'eat your heart out' thing... please don't shoot me.  
Q for Winry: When you started beating the hell out of Alphonse in Volume 4 for being a complete fruckin idiot, where did you get the wrench?**_

For Blythe: Sorry, hon, I meant the version by Halfcocked. You know, the one from that movie Shrek.

PT: See!

Hits Al on the head.

PT: YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVED BARRY!!

Al: I'm sorry!!

Winry hits him with a wrench.

Barry: Hey, Hawkeye, can I chop you?

Hawkeye: HELL NO…

Rock: No one's noticing us!

Hits everyone on the head with the stick.

Rock: Eat more carrots!

Ed: Good point about the wrench…

Winry: It just comes up when I need to kill Ed or Al for something.

"…"

Ed and Al: EVIL… TT.TT

Hawkeye: Yeah.

Glomps Mustang.

PT: Geez.

Ed: HYPOCRITE, DEMI…

Blythe: Oh, that's the song. Thanks.

Soren: YAY! MY DAUGHTER'S GONNA SING!!

Squeals like he's six.

"…"

PT: Weirdo.

Blythe:

_**I don't give a damn about my reputation  
You're living in the past, it's a new generation  
Hey, a girl can do what she wants to do  
And that's what I'm gonna do**_

And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation  
Oh no  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no  
Not me  
Me, me, me, me, me, me

And I don't give a damn about my reputation  
I never said I wanted to improve my station  
And I'm only feeling good when I'm having fun  
And I don't have to please no one

And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation  
Oh no  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no  
Not me  
Me, me, me, me, me, me  
Oh no  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no  
Not me  
Me, me, me, me, me, me

And I don't give a damn about my reputation  
I've never been afraid of any deviation  
And I don't really care if I'm strange  
I ain't gonna change

And I'm never gonna care about my bad reputation  
Oh no  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no  
Not me  
Me, me, me, me, me, me  
Oh no  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no  
Not me  
Me, me, me, me, me, me  
Break it down

And I don't give a damn about my reputation  
The world's in trouble, there's no communication  
And everyone can say what they want to say  
It never gets better anyway

So why should I care about a bad reputation, anyway  
Oh no  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no  
Not me  
Me, me, me, me, me, me  
Oh no  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no  
Not me  
Me, me, me, me, me, me

Oh no  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no  
Not me  
Me, me, me, me, me, me  
Oh no  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no  
Not me  
Me, me, me, me, me, me  
Soren: YAY!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!

"…"

Camera: That sounded a little emo.

Soren smacks it.

PT: Well, we're done! It's late and everything…and I'm watching Prince of Tennis :3 FUJI'S HAVING HIS MATCH!! YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Camera: Oh, forget this. Next week, remember the update!!

Turns off.


	26. Chapter 25

PT: HI PEOPLE! SORRY THIS IS A DAY LATE! I'M DITCHING SUMMER SCHOOL HOMEWORK RIGHT NOW! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA...

"..."

PT: I'm bored.

"..."

PT: Kay! Update on news that concern readers! My computer's mouse stopped working a couple of days ago. The line was split for some reason, and the wires were poking out...

Porny: Like blood and gore out of human flesh?

"..."

PT: Yes, little Porny, like blood and gore out of human flesh.

Porny: Really?

PT: NO!

"..."

PT: Anyways, so I can't use that computer until I get a new mouse, and I'm really in debt now, so I can't buy one. All my files -- including word documents I write fanfics in -- can't be reached. So, I'm using my mom's computer, which has no more disk space and doesn't have a working YouTube. So yeah, I'm stuck till I get a mouse.

Porny: I like meaples.

"..."

Twilight: HOLY -BEEP- DEMI! NOW HE'S BECOMING YOU!!

"..."

Ed: It's okay to be gay/ Let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way...

Al: ...So you're pairing up with Mustang?

Ed: NO!

"..."

Ed: I like guys :3

Ed (thinking): Now that I said that, Demi will lose interest in me, and I can just PRETEND to go out with Alfons...

PT: I like gays :3

"..."

Ed: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Dies on the floor.

"..."

Al: Brother!

Porny: OMG!!

"..."

Gylfie: Next review from...ezyl's girl...:

_**How far into the anime series are you, PT?**_

_**/You can still turn back, ya know. And did you know that Fuji's voiced by a girl? That's the only turn-off...:)/**_

_**Shutup. Anyhow, watch Atobe's Gift and you'll see why I love AtoTezu. Absolute SECKSINESS when Atobe rescues Tezuka and Tezuka holds him and they both finish...**_

_**I recommend a fanfic: When I Come Back To You, by FallingSilver. The main pair is MomoRyo and TezuFuji, and it might sound awkward, but I KNOW you'll enjoy it.**_

_**Oh, and check out Link and Luigi's fics, too. REMOTE is what defines crack. :D**_

PT: Yeah, I was watching episode 85 when the mouse stopped working :( Gah TT-TT Yeah, I know Fuji's voiced by a girl. How could he not be? I thought he WAS a girl, until a few seconds after he talked for the first time. Oh yeah, I once watched a bit of Prince of Tennis in English. WHAT WAS THAT... THEY PRONOUNCED RYOMA AND TEZUKA WRONG! THEY CALLED OISHI O-EE-SHEE!! THE VOICES WERE JUST WRONG!! ESPECIALLY FUJI AND EIJI'S!!

Rock: Erm...eat more car--

PT: Oh, shut up!

"..."

PT: Much better. As I was saying, one of the reasons I like Fuji is because he sounds like a girl. He's funny too :3

Ed: I wish you'd give up on me...

PT: Shut up before I feed you...Penal Tea!! It's from Prince of Tennis :3

Ed: Yeah, I'm not scared of drinking a--

PT shoves Penal Tea down his throat. Big pause.

"..."

Ed: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Runs away, and dies.

Al: Brother! OMG!

PT: Atobe's Gift, ah. Yeah, I watched that part when you mentioned it. THAT WAS SO CUTE!!

"..."

PT: Then, I noticed that Tezuka's nose was really sharp...I saw Inui's eyes...Fuji was HAWT...the guys were half-naked...Kirihara pulled out trunks...

"..."

Porny: Oh no; she's rambling again.

Twilight (worried): What do we do?

PT: It's okay to be gay/ Let's rejoice with the boys in the gay way...

Porny: DEMI!! YOU NOTICE WE'RE STILL ON YOUR ROOF!!

PT: YEAH! WHERE'S PELLI!?

Porny: I don't know.

Pelli runs back.

Pelli: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Soren: Where were you!?

Pelli: I was at the small library! A librarian whacked me on the head!

"..."

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Pelli: ...Gr...

PT: Those are good fics :D I mean, wow...

"..."

Rock: Eat more carro--!

PT whacks him over the head.

Lionpaw: OOOOOOHHHHHHH!!

Hollypaw: SO CLOSE!

Digger: Uh...next review from Ih8Bush:

_**Nyra what is the Pure one's motvation to be douchbags, bastards, or nazis,  
Porny join the navy there are plenty of seamen  
bye**_

"..."

PT: That's a good point there, you know.

Nyra: WE ARE PURE!! THAT'S THE ONLY EXPLANATION! FILTHY OTHERS AND LOW OWLS--

Gestures at PT and others that aren't Barn Owls.

Nyra: --MUST BE AHNILATE--!!

Gets beat up by everyone.

"..."

_Yes, you know, the difficulties that are technical..._

_"..."_

_We're back! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!_

Porny: You know, maybe I should join the navy...

Everyone else: GO!

Porny: Hey! That's not very nic--

Gets shoved onto navy ship.

Porny: WTF!!

PT: Yeah, well, we're done. Because it's summer break and we're getting less reviews lately, we'll go on a month-long hiatus.

Ed: That's a long time.

"..."

PT: ...Yeah...

Waves.

PT: By--

Gets hit on the head by Rock.

Rock: Eat more carro--

Camera shuts down.


	27. Chapter 26

PT: WE ARE BAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!

Porny: Shit.

PT kicks him.

PT: FROM NOW ON, I HAVE DECIDED TO BAN SWEARING.

"…"

Everyone else: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

PT: SHUT THE F—

Everyone: YOU'RE CURSING!!

PT: SHADDAP!! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!

"…"

PT smiles.

PT: Are you HHHHAAAAPPPPPYYYYY…??

Others back off.

Ed: Pedophile…

Al: Brother, she's scary…

PT smiles again, looking like a vampire.

PT: Blood… BLOOD…

Everyone backs away. PT leans forward.

PT: BLOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD…

Kisses Ed on the cheek.

"…"

Roy stares, then slips on the roof; it's wet.

Roy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Hawkeye (reaching over to help him): GOD DAMN IT, G—!

PT (still in creepy pedophile voice mode): WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT CURSING??

Smiles as Riza stops and Roy hits the ground on his head.

PT: TTTHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT'SSS GOING TO LEAVE A MMMAAAAAAAARRRKKKK.

Smiles some more. Everyone backs off. PT advances.

PT: YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…

Starts jabbering in Japanese.

"…"

Porny: Creepy lady.

PT speaks in Spanish.

Winry: Pardon??

PT speaks Chinese.

Rock: EAT MORE CAR—

PT kicks him off the roof and keeps on jabbering.

Starts speaking German.

Alfons and Ed: WWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT!!

Kick PT off the roof.

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A—!

PT (from off the roof): NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SSWWWWEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGG IN ENGLISH!!

Smiles.

"…"

Ed (muttering): Little bi—

PT: WWWWWHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA??

Voice from inside the house: DEMI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??

PT: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, MUM!!

"…"

Porny: Mum? You're not British.

PT: MMMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM…

Porny: THIS IS GOING NOWHERE!!

Takes out scroll, clears throat, and reads.

Porny: Review from ezyl's girl:

_**Heheh.**_

I won't be able to review a lot, now. (Under surveillance and being harassed as we speak to get off the compy...)

PT gets up, serious again.

Everyone: ?? Creepy lady. One second you're a pedophile, and the next, you're a serious—

PT kicks them.

Soren: I'M REPORTING OWL ABUSE!!

PT (ignoring them): That happens to me too.

Sobs.

PT: DEAR mummy freaking gives me a curfew from the computer at 10, and even before that, she has anger fits at me and tries to make me get off.

Soren: At least you won't be able to torture us—

PT kicks him again.

Soren: Grrr…

PT: I have come to love Perfect Pair 8D

Gylfie: We don't even know what you're talking about.

PT: Shaddap, or I'll give you Inui Juice.

Lionpaw: HEY! PRINCE OF TENNIS DOES NOT BELONG BECAUSE THIS IS GUARDIANS OF GA'HOOLE AND THEY'RE NOT GUESTS—

PT: WHAT ABOUT LIBERTY'S KIDS?? (Turns on pedo mode) HHHHHHMMMMMMMMMM??

Smiles.

Gylfie: It was kind of funny to see you get tortured because historical figures came and went…

Trails off mumbling incoherently.

PT holds up a glass of Inui Juice.

PT: I have no idea where this came from, but okay…!!

Leans in smiling.

Gylfie: Errrr (sweats)… AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! REVIEW FROM DUCKSTAR:

_**I hereby dub this story 'funny and freaky'.  
Pelli: explain the uses of a magical BANANA  
Ed: Do u think Digger is ugly?**_

BTW, I can fix the great tree for a small fee. All I need is a 5 metre long saw, 70kg of rocks, 850 branches, 60 bottles of superglue, 300kg of leaves, and a sandwich cuz I might get hungry. The total cost of that and my payment is 759,0,0,00.

Pelli: Bananas sing in your ears.

Sticks a banana in Digger's ear.

Pelli: Bananas can do the hula dance and act as things to practice—

PT: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO… Practice the thing that Digger did to Nyra that chappy…

Nyra: GGGGRRRRRR… You still owe me!!

Pelli sticks her tongue out.

Pelli: That's what you get for kidnapping my chick, trying to kill my mate and not dying every time you should have been killed, ripping off Bobobo with Diggy (Digger: ??), and being Nyra.

Nyra: ………………………………………………

"…"

Nyra: …………………………………………………………………………………………………

PT: Do you like Japanese music, Hollypaw? White Line, Wonderful Days, Rocks, Fighting Dreamers, Koko De Bokura Wa Deatteshimatta, Departures, and Hero's Come Back are the BEST.

"…"

Jaypaw: You're effing random. F—

PT: EAT INUI JUICE!!

"…"

Rock: …Drink??

PT pours Inui Juice down Jaypaw and Rock's throats.

They die.

"…"

Roy: Isn't that a bit of an understatement? They're just OUT—

PT ties him to a tree.

PT: TTTRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!

Turns to Ed.  
PT: Answer your question!

Ed: Digger is f--kin' ugly!!

Everyone else: LE GASP!!

Digger faints.

PT: …Wow…

Hands stuff to Otulissa and random student.

PT: Measure the stuff and give it to Duckstar. I can't use the metric system and I hate math.

Otulissa: HEY! Lazy ass!

PT: Do you WANT the tree fixed or NOT??

"…"

Random student: Fine…

Start measuring things and sending the necessary stuff to Duckstar. Along with the money.

Twilight: Small fee, rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhhtttt…

Falls off roof.

"…"

PT: Oh, I am now thirteen! I turned thirteen this Sunday!

"…"

Firestar: We're all gonna DDDDDIIIIIEEEEEEE…

PT: Plus, I've started to play tennis x) I've hit some balls over this house before x) I keep on losing them; I hit too hard.

Firestar chokes.

Porny: Last review from MCPooky:

_**It's really funny!**_

Twilight: Hey, a new person!

PT: Thank you for the comment! :D

"…"

PT: Good-bye for now! :D

Turns off camera as she pushes everyone off the roof for no reason.


	28. Chapter 27

PT: I like—

Everyone: WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW!!

Mustang falls off the roof.

PT's mom (in the house): DEMI!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE??

"…"

PT: Cruel…little…owls…

Switches to pedophile mode.

Everyone: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

They fall.

PT: Mmmm…Jaypaw, come hither.

Jaypaw, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw: Eeep!

Porny: Go on.

Gives Jaypaw a shove.

Jaypaw: Back off, ladies!!

"…"

A few seconds of struggling.

PT grabs Jaypaw.

PT: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!! JJJAAAYYYPPPAAAAAWWWWW!! YOU'RE YYYYYYOUNGEEEERRRR THAN ME, RIIIIIGGHHHTTT??

Jaypaw: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOOOO!! SOMEBODY READ THE FIRST REVIEW! SOMEBODY READ THE FIRST REVIEW!!

Rock: You should've eaten more carrots!

Gets hit over the head by Hohenheim.

Al: Thanks, dad :D

Hohenheim: :)

Trisha whips out the first review and reads it.

Trisha: First review from I-Heart-Werewolf, who is now Eater of Crayons:

_**You're 13, now? SWEET! We're the same age! XD For once I'm happy to have a late birthday!  
-sings Happy(belated)Birthday and hands you an imaginary present-  
I'm gonna actually ask questions for once! WHE!**_

Question for Pelli: Why do you suck?  
... that's all I got

PT: Oh, thanks! :D

Pelli: HOW DARE YOU SAY I SUCK—!!

PT: YOU'RE DISSED ABOUT THREE HUNDRED TIMES A WEEK, GO TO HELL!!

Pelli: Meany!

PT: YYYYEEEEEE!!

Does the chicken dance.

Pelli: SSSSSOOOOOORRRRRRRRREEEEEEEENNN!! BACK ME UUUUUUPPPP!! I PAINSTAKINGLY CLING TO YOU ALL THE TIME AND I'M USELESSLY ANNOYING LIKE THE TIME BELL WENT MISSING AND I JUST FELL DOWN AND MOURNED FOR TWELVE DAYS AND JUST BEING A BURDEN!! I STOLE YOU!!

"…"

PT: I think that's a proper explanation…

Pelli: Meany!

Gets kicked off the roof.

Porny: …YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! :D

"…"

Everyone stares at him.

Porny: I mean…oh no!! My poor, dear—

PT: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!

Kicks him off the roof.

PT's mom (inside the house): DEEEEEEMMMIII?!

No kidding, she actually says that, but with PT's Chinese pet name.

PT: I'm scowling.

Barney: I love—

PT: GET THE (long beep) out!!

Barney: …

"…"

Barney: …

"…"

Barney: …

"…"

Barney: I love—

PT: NO!

Barney: Iloveyou/ Youloveme—

PT: Itriedsohardtogetsofar/ Andintheenditdoesn'tevenmat—

Both fall off the roof.

Porny: Poor buggers.

"…"

Soren: You're turning British, aren't you, shonan?

PT jumps back on the roof.

PT: Is it shonan or shonen?

Soren: Geez…

PT: I tried so hard and got so far/ But in the end, it doesn't even matt—

Soren: You are such a pessimist, an emo, a—

PT: FFFSSSHHHUUUU!!

"…"

Soren: I don't need that.

PT: YOU WANT A PEDOPHILLLEEEEE…??

"…"

Soren backs away.

Soren (small voice): No…

PT smiles creepily and turns to Trisha.

PT: Next review?

Trisha: Right. Next review from ezyl's girl:

_**AN APPEARANCE OF INUI JUICE. AND PEDO-ISM. YESHI**_

8D

PT: Yeeee!!

Porny: Uncle?

Twilight: Yes?

Porny: You're not my uncle, but okaaayyy… I'm scared… Hold me…

PT: Heheh…

Trisha: Next review? It's from Duckstar…

Rock: WHERE'S THE DUCK EGG!!

PT: GET OVER IT!!

"…"

PT: Keep reading, Trisha.

"…"

Ed sweat-drops.

Trisha:

_**CHEESE TREES! EVERYBODY LOVES CHEESE TREES!  
ok...I just had to get that out of my system.  
Only 1 question for this chappie: Do u like RuneScape?  
I've recentely got addicted to it...BLAME THE CHEESE TREES!  
I had to get that out too... FILL THE CHEESE TREES WITH CABBAGES! that too. MWAHAHAHAHAA! CHESE TRES!  
Err... I'll get back to u! ME WANT CHESE!**_

PT: CHEESSEEEE!!

Gylfie: Oh no…our tormentor is getting addicted cheese.

Englantine: Primrose?

Primrose: Yes?

Englantine: I'm scared…

Primrose: We all are.

PT jumps up.

Twilight: THIS IS MADNESS!

PT: Madness… THIS! IS! SSSSSPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRTTTAA!!

Gylfie: …Where the hell did you get that…

PT: I've never played Runescape before, unfortunately…

Trisha: Next review from Dead Promises:

_**Lol, watch out for pedo bear  
For the record, I have been reading this story recently. the only prblem is... (sniff) since starting on november, the ga'hoole era will come to a closing (and on 2009, so will FHFIF), I've decided to get ready to move on to other books (ex. stephen king). So, here's my last questions (And to show my sincereity, I'm logged in):**_

Ed, seriously, why is it that your size makes owls have to look up at you?  
Envy, since Heath Ledger died, how would YOU like to portray the joker if they ever make a batman 3?

Soren, say "OH RLY?" for no reason (unless you know the internet meme XD)  
Twilight, I want this to be epic, so can you sing "the beginning is the end is the beginning" by the smashing pumpkins for me?

I wuvs you all (sniff)  
sorry, I get too emotional sometimes.  
Well, goodbye! :'(

'DP!

Ed: RRRRRRRRR… DON'T CALL ME SMALL!! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TINEY RUNT OF A LITTER THAT CAN ONLY BE TALLER THAN OWLS WHO SHOULDN'T RESPECT HIM PROPERLY JUST BECAUSE HE'S ABOUT AS TALL AS SOME GIRL WHO'S THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN HIM…!!

PT: WE DIDN'T NEED TO HEAR THAT…

Porny: Really, he's short? He's taller than me…

Evil grin.

Porny: But if he's actually that short, let's—

Ed kicks him off the roof, jumps after his and does really censored stuff.

PT: …Oh dear…

Envy: OOOOO, Joker…??

Grins.

Envy: Let's do that…

Laughs maniacally.

PT: Good God…

Throws Envy off the roof.

Rock: YOU YOUNG PEOPLE MUST EAT MORE CARROTS…

PT: He's older than you, oldie.

PT turns back to the camera.

Twilight: Heheh, I haven't sung in a while…

Twilight (clearing throat):

_**Send a heartbeat to  
The void that cries through you  
Relive the pictures that have come to pass  
For now we stand alone  
The world is lost and blown  
And we are flesh and blood disintegrate  
With no more to hate**_

Is it bright where you are  
Have the people changed  
Does it make you happy you're so strange  
And in your darkest hour  
I hold secrets flame  
We can watch the world devoured in it's pain

Delivered from the blast  
The last of a line of lasts  
The pale princess of a palace cracked  
And now the kingdom comes  
Crashing down undone  
And I am a master of a nothing place  
Of recoil and grace

Is it bright where you are  
Have the people changed  
Does it make you happy you're so strange  
And in your darkest hour  
I hold secrets flame  
We can watch the world devoured in it's pain

Time has stopped before us  
The sky cannot ignore us  
No one can separate us  
For we are all that is left  
The echo bounces off me  
The shadow lost beside me  
There's no more need to pretend  
Cause now I can begin again

Is it bright where you are  
Have the people changed  
Does it make you happy you're so strange  
And in your darkest hour  
I hold secrets flame  
We can watch the world devoured in it's pain  
Strange  
Strange  
Strange

PT: Well, bye Dead Promises!!

Waves.

Everyone crowds around the camera.

Everyone: BYE!!

Camera shuts down.


	29. Chapter 28

PT: HEYHEYHEY!! IT'S FAAAAAAATT ALBER--

Is hit over the head by BUBBLY SPARKLE BOYS. Wait, what?

"..."

Porny (tired): OKAY then...WHY THE HELL IS THE TEXT different?

PT: Huh?

Twilight: Your punctuation marks look different.

PT: Oh, I got a new laptop! It's got this new crappy thing called Vista, so I can't use Microsoft Word; I downloaded this thing called OpenOffice, so yeah...

Pelli: SPARKLE!

Everyone: ?????

PT: Erm...okay...

Rock: No one cares about us Warriors characters, do you?

Ed: Or us?

PT: Rock, you guys are too furry.

The cats: ???

PT: Ed's too short.

"..."

Everyone except Ed: Oh fuck--

Ed jumps up.

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FUCKING BRAT THAT--!

Winry hits him over the head. He falls and falls unconscious, falling to a marked downfall and an eternal fallen angel's sleep that only fallen angels fall into. FALLFALL--

Izumi: SHUT THE HELL UP WITH THE "FALL"S!!!!!!

"..."

PT: K...

Porny: Erm...AHEM. So...sorry for the hiatus. The next chapter is estimated to be the last one—PT's measured the length of this story and this has been going on for nearly a year now. Again, sorry for the hiatus—Demi's been procrastinating on this site since October fourth--

PT: Not PROCRASTINATING, dear Porn-boy. Plagued with WRITER'S BLOCK...

Porny: It was procrastination, and you know it--

Gets thrown out of the tree.

PT: So, we're back in the tree, people! :D

"..."

Otulissa: ...Thank GLAUX...

Gylfie: I hate you all -.-U

Gets kissed by Soren.

"..."

Pelli: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG SORENNN WHY THE - - - - DID YOU JUST DO THAT!!! I'M your MATE!!!!!!

"..."

Pelli: HEY! IS ANYONE PAYING ATTENTION!!! I--

Gets knocked out by the SPARKLY THINGY BUBBLY GUYS.

"..."

PT: OKAAAYYY THEN... First review from ezylrybbit, who was ezyl's girl a while ago:

_**I CAN'T BELIEVE DP-KUN IS LEAVING.**_

Gosh, we had brilliant owl!crack moments in this ol' fandom, eh? I mean, his Playbird was a fandom-defining move. And so's this fic. -sobs- I'll miss him and you guys so much, since I've abandoned this fandom too...and...

I'll go send him a farewell-PM filled with sobby crap. 8D

Anyways, I think Roy Mustang's hot. :D Yup.

Just a question, when are you going to actually end this fic, PT? Heheh.

-gets shot for asking-

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S LEAVING. T.T

PT: Yup...

Runs away sobbing.

"..."

Everyone else: Wtf...

Porny: Apparently, she's getting freaking emotional as each day passes...

Subtitles: LALALALALALALALALALALALA

"..."

Gylfie: Don't mind the subtitles -.- Getting more and more demented, just like Demi, and--

Subtitles: ILIKEMEAPLES:3

"..."

Gylfie: Oh, SHUT UP LITTLE--

Subtitles:

IT'S TOO LATE TO 'POLOGIZE...

IT'S TOO LAAATTEEE...

I SAID IT'S TOO LATE TO 'POLOGIZE...

Gylfie: AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Destroys the God damned subtitle machine.

Gylfie: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Dances.

"..."

Everyone else: O.o

Back away slowly.

Gylfie:

There is no fu--

Twilight kicks her.

Twilight: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOOOO!! MY LINES!!!!

"..."

Twilight:

_**There is no future for the dreams you place upon  
The sharp curves of the white moon  
Burning soul—come here beside me  
And create a blade from which hot blood be shed  
**__**The greater the pain is inflicted,**_  
_**The greater the joy that comes from it  
This cleansed body of mine is the RULE  
And I shall paint the whole moon crimson  
Betrayal shall never be forgiven  
Destroy the enemy before you, that is all  
I, with this cleansed body  
Shall have the final laugh  
The blood...so beautiful...that is the RULE  
Nobody can stop me now  
The crimson moon shall be mine  
And I shall rule over all the world  
This cleansed body of mine is the RULE  
And I shall paint the whole moon crimson  
The blood...so beautiful...that is the RULE  
And I shall rule over all the world**_

"..."

Al: What the fuck is that--

Izumi kicks him over the head.

Izumi: ALPHONSE ELRIC!!! NO CURSING!!!

Al collapses.

Al: GAHHH!!! OKAY! OKAY!

Winry: What the fuck is that song?

"..."

Al: WHY IS NO ONE ELSE SMACKING HER??? HELLO!!!

"..."

Al: T.T

"..."

Al: Fu--

Izumi knocks him out.

"..."

Roy: Well! One more fangirl for me!!

"..."

Roy: ...

"..."

Roy: What?

"..."

Roy: WHAT?????

"..."

Roy: ...

Otulissa: HEY! NO SUBTITLES TO SAY WOE IS ME!!! YAYS!!! Anyway, the next chapter is supposed to be the last one, as our DEAR WRITER...

Tengshu: That you're sounding more and more like every day by now...

Otulissa: ...You're lucky you're Asian, stupid blue one; PT won't let me lay a wing on you...

Tengshu: :)

Otulissa: Anyway...PT said that the next chapter is the LAST ONE—our SMART ol' writer has ONLY JUST noticed how old this fic is...good God...

Rolls her eyes.

Otulissa: By the way, she read Exile and War of The Ember last month.

Porny explodes.

Porny: WHY THE HELL DID THE THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME AT THE END HAPPENED TO ME??!?!?!?!?!?!

"..."

PT appears and explodes. She bitchslaps Striga.

PT: HOW DARE YOU BURN BOOKS!!!!! HOWDAREYOUBURNBOOKSHOWDAREYOUBURNBOOKSHOWDAREYOUBURNBOOKSHOWDAREYOUBURNBOOKSHOWDAREYOUBURNBOOKSHOWDAREYOUBURNBOOKSHOWDAREYOUBURNBOOKSHOWDAREYOUBURNBOOKSHOWDAREYOUBURNBOOKSHOWDAREYOUBURNBOOKSHOWDAREYOUBURNBOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Continues slapping him.

Firestar: WAIT! STOP! STOP!

PT smacks him away.

Firestar: STOP BEING A MARY SUE!!!!

Slap. Slap.

"_..."_

_Please...excuse the technical difficulties...we have a very strange host..._

_Random voice: Oh the cruelty! Twilight, in the last book, it's revealed that he has--_

_Other random voice: WE ARE NOT SPOILING ANYTHING!!!!!!!_

"_..." Yeah..._

PT is watching Snow White.

PT: EEEWWWW!!!!!! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!!!!! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS!!! NOOOOO!!!!! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!! IIIIAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NONONONONONONONON!!!!!! NEINNEINNEINNEINNEIN!!!!!!

Twilight grins evilly.

Twilight: That is how we subject our dear writer to torture now :D

PT: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! BBBUUUUUUUU!!!!!! BBUUUUYYAAAOOOO!!!!!!!!

"..."

Otulissa: SOMEBODY TRANSLATE what she's saying, will they?

"..."

Otulissa: Oh come on!!!! IS DEMI THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO CAN SPEAK CHINESE???!?!!?!?!?!?!?!

"..."

Everyone else: Apparently...

"..."

Dumpy: Wait! Otulissa! You mean the great scholar of the Great Tree can't interpret what our writer's saying??

"..."

Otulissa glares at Dumpy and his innocence. Twilight bursts out laughing.

"..."

PT: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGMOMGOMOMOGMOGMOGMOGMOGMGOMGOMGOMOGMOGM Who the hell has lungs like that??? Even Snow White can't screech that shrilly for so long!!!! O.O NONONNONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONNNN!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! MAKE IT STOOOPPPAAAA!!!!

"..."

Otulissa: Am I the only one who noticed all the typos in that last bit of dialogue...?

"..."

Otulissa: HAHA! I'm smart!

"..."

Dumpy: Actually, Otulissa, I noticed. Sometimes she pronounced OMG as MOG.

"..."

Otulissa grows mushrooms in a corner.

"..."

Hohenheim: Well, anyway, here's the next and last review from Alex Romanov:

_**(Hmm... it appears that I returned to late for this appears to be dead. No matter, if it does get revived I'll post this just in case)  
BEWARE FOOLISH MORTALS! FOR I HAVE RETURNED FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE ABYSS, MORE POWERFUL THEN EVER!HAHAHA! Just to show you my new found power I will demonstrate my new genetic manipulation!  
-A beam fires out of the letter and Hts Porny, restoring his Heterosexuality and his real name*  
HAHA! FEAR MY POWER!!  
-Another beam fires out and hits Gylfie, turning her into a cat who shall now be named Bookheart-  
FEAR IT!  
-Eh hem-  
Now that you know my power we are on speaking terms yes? very well, here's some chocolate.  
-At the time this letter is read of shore Chocolate cannons fire on the great tree(Assuming you are still there, I didn't read any of the new chapters in fear of Warriors spoilers(Just started reading it))  
I hope you except my gifts, my generosity is endless.  
-Then suddenly badgers, thousands of them!-  
I hope you except my gifts, I shall leave for now.**_

PT: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH CRAAAPPPP!!!! JJUUUUUUUUSSSTTT CUT THE SHIT WITH THE OLDE ENGLISH SPEAKINGGGGGGGG...!!!!!! AND WHEN THE HUNTER PROTESTS AGAINST KILLING SNOW WHITE—WHERE THE F--- IS THE FACE EXPRESSION!!!!!! BBBBUUUUYAAAAOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

"..."

Coryn: Mmmkaaayyy...I'm going to ignore her...

Kalo: Wait! Coryn, look! LOOK.

Coryn: Wait...OH MY GOD!!!!!!! LOOK! MY NAME IS CORYN AGAIN!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!! MY NAME IS CORYN AGAIN!!!!!!!!! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!! OMG--

PT: OH MY GAWDD!!!!!! DO THE KIDS WHO ARE WATCHING THIS EVEN KNOW WHAT EBONY IS:?!!?!?!!!?!!?!?! DO THEY UNDERSTAND HALF OF WHAT THEY'RE SAYING HERE?!?!?! AND I THOUGHT DISNEY WOULD BLOCK SOMETHING LIKE A PERSON'S HEART!?!??! AND THE QUEEN IS NOT BEAUTIFUL, JUST FORGET IT!!!! AND HOW THE HELL DOES SHE GET MUMMY'S DUST??? AND HOW DOES SHE GET A SCREAM, A LAUGH, WIND, AND THUNDER IN HER POTION!?!? IT DOESN'T EVEN TOUCH THE GOD-DAMNED THING!!!!! AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A DEER'S HEART!!! AND SHE'S TALKING ABOUT HER HANDS TO NO ONE??!?!!?!?! WTF???!???

"..."

PT: ...No...think happy thoughts...think about...Stahn Aileron...and...Kratos...Aurion.... GAH!!!! WHY THE HELL IS IT CALLED SLEEPING DEATH!??!!?!?!?!?! SHE'S TALKING IN RHYME!!!!!! AND WHERE THE HELL IS THAT KINGDOM SHE RULES???? And why are they always using love's first kiss? How cliche!! and can't she just kill her completely!!! and is she breaking the fourth wall or anything??? GEEZ!!!! STOP SCREAMING "BURIED ALIVE!!!" WE DON'T CARE...!!!!!

"..."

Coryn: Okay, who the hell are Stahn and Kratos???

"..."

Kalo: She--

PT: OMG!!!!!!! HOW CAN THE STUPID SNOW WHITE NOT BE SUSPICIOUS OF THE FREAKING OLD PEDOPHILE!!!! BAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKA!!!!!

"..."

Bookheart: Stahn is the main character of Tales of Destiny. Kratos is this...hot guy from Tales of Symphonia... They're video games but Demi doesn't play games, so she reads the manga... She's fangirling over both of them.

"..."

Soren: I see...

Pelli: Never mind, let's share the free chocolate--

Bookheart: I still hate my--

Badgers round up her and the other cats.

"..."

Everyone: O.o

The cats: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NNOOOOOO!!!!!!!

"..."

The non-cats watch as the cats get chased around the island.

Soren: Wow...

Pelli: O-O Fear the power...of Alex Romanov...

TO BE CONTINUED...

_And never forget, next episode is the last!!! Adieu!!!_

Camera breaks down.


	30. Chapter 29

PT:

_**There is no future for the dreams you place upon  
The sharp curves of the white moon  
Burning soul—come here beside me  
And create a blade from which hot blood be shed  
The greater the pain is inflicted,**_  
_**The greater the joy that comes from it  
This cleansed body of mine is the RULE  
And I shall paint the whole moon crimson  
Betrayal shall never be forgiven  
Destroy the enemy before you, that is all  
I, with this cleansed body  
Shall have the final laugh  
The blood...so beautiful...that is the RULE  
Nobody can stop me now  
The crimson moon shall be mine  
And I shall rule over all the world  
This cleansed body of mine is the RULE  
And I shall paint the whole moon crimson  
The blood...so beautiful...that is the RULE  
And I shall rule over all the world**_

"..."

Ed: NO.

Ebisu: HEY GUESS WHAT! YOU KNOW THE TIME I TOLD YOU THAT WE WERE MAKING A CAMEO BACK IN ONE OF THE FIRST CHAPTERS AND DEMI INTERRUPTED ME?!!??!!!

"..."

Ebisu: Anybody?

"..."

Ebisu: TT—TT Fu--

Is kicked out of the tree by PT.

PT: Heh...I'm watching 1776--

Is also kicked out of the tree, by Naruto.

Sakura: Yeah, after having to deal with Snow White for another round.

PT (from outside): 1776 PWNS!!! DO NOT DENY IT!!!!!

"..."

Kakashi: She loves that musical a lot, doesn't she?

Anko: Yup.

Pelli: Even though it's been like—what—a year by now?

"..."

Harry: I'm bored.

Hedwig: Hoot.

"..."

Coryn: THEN I SHALL TAKE AN ADVANTAGE OVER GETTING MY NAME BACK AFTER NEARLY A YEAR AND FEED YOU ALL WITH MEAPLES WITH MY KINGLY POWER!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

"..."

Everyone backs away.

Kalo: I liked him better as an outcast...

Cory: Just why the hell was I named after this guy...?

Soren: He's not a guy.

"..."

Bell: Uncomfortable silence...

Blythe: Oh damn...

Bash: You don't mean...

Digger (who has not had a line in a while now): He's a... HEY THE SUBTITLES ARE BACK!!!!!

Soren: Yeah, we hired a new one. Now do the dramatic horrific realization again!!!

"..."

Bell: Uncomfortable silence...

Blythe: Oh--

PT (still outside): DILDOOOO!!!!!

"..."

Pelli (exploding): WHAT THE HELL, YOU – WITH A – AND A – !!!! I HOPE YOU – IN A – WITH A – AND YOU – IN – AFTER THAT!!!! – !!!

"..."

O.o

"..."

Soren: ...

The three B's: ...

Mysterious scroom things: ...

PT (still outside): O.O AAAHHHH NNOOOOO!!!! WILL WALT DISNEY PLEASE BE MORE REALISTIC!!!!! I MEAN, SINCE WHEN DID MINES HAVE GEMS THAT WERE ALREADY FAUCETED AND SHINY BY THE TIME THEY'RE FIRST MINED!!! THERE'S JUST A BUNCH OF JEWELS THAT ALREADY LOOK LIKE THEY'VE BEEN MINED AND CUT STICKING OUT OF THE ROCK!!!!! HAVE THE CREATORS EVEN THOUGHT OF THE THING CALLED "RAW MINERALS"?!!?!??!?!

"..."

Soren: How the hell is she watching Snow White outside all of a sudden???

Pelli: No idea, dearie.

Soren: ...I wasn't speaking to ugly owls, I was speaking to the awesome-sauce ones. Digger?

Pelli: WHAAAATTT!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Soren: It's true.

Pelli: But...But...

Turns to screen.

Pelli: How many of you people out there have read the last book??? DID YOU READ THE END!!! ROMANCE BET--

Is kicked out of the tree by Cory.

Cory: She's annoying.

Pelli: WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE MEEE!!!! THE CRUELTY OF THE WOOORRLLLDDDDD!!!!!

"..."

Soren: Good God...Demi has seriously influenced us too much for one year...

Pelli: ...It hasn't BEEN a year yet...

Soren begins throwing dried caterpillars at her.

Pelli: HEY!!!!

Soren (still throwing): ...I'm happy this is the last episode. That means we'll never see her again, and it's only one more da--

PT pops up at the hollow and glomps him.

PT: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! KKKKYYYAAAAAAAAA!!!!! DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT HOW HOT NIOU MASAHARU IS AND HOW WE HAVE THE SAME ASIAN NAMES, ONLY "NIOU NIOU" IS MY NICKNAME, BUT IT'S USED SO MUCH MORE THAN "XIAO YU"!!! AND DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME I SQUASHED GRAPES ON THE FLOOR WHEN I WAS A KID BECAUSE IT WAS SLIPPER--

Tossed out of the tree again.

Soren: NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW, LADY!!!!

PT comes up again.

PT: And you know, Ed is SOOO CUTTTEE AND HOT, like OMFG the way he...

Ed backs into a corner.

Ed: Just one more night...

Faints.

Al: BROTHER!!!

Soren (mumbling): Just ONE MORE night, one more night, one last chapter—and then this torture will finally be over... At last...the nightmare...

Is knocked out by PT.

PT: So...Twilight...

Twilight jumps up with his sister's pants on.

Twilight:

_**It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark  
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart  
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it  
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,  
You're paralyzed**_

You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run  
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun  
You close your eyes, and hope that this is just imagination  
But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up behind  
You're out of time

They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side  
They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial  
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together  
All through the night I'll save you from the terror on the screen,  
I'll make you see

Darkness falls across the land  
The midnight hour is close at hand  
Creatures crawl in search of blood  
To terrorize ya'lls neighbourhood  
And whosoever shall be found  
Without the soul for gettin' down  
Must stand and face the hounds of hell  
And rot inside a corpse's shell

_**  
The foulest stench is in the air  
The funk of forty thousand years  
And grizzy ghouls from every tomb  
Are closing in to seal your doom  
And though you fight to stay alive  
Your body starts to shiver  
For no mere mortal can resist  
The evil of the thriller**_

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night  
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes  
You know its thriller, thriller night  
You're fighting for your life inside of killer, thriller tonight...

Soren (who has awoken): STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP!!! SHUT UP!!!! YOU'RE SCARING MY DAUGHTERSSS!!!!! HOW DARE YOU SCARE THE THREE B'S!!!!!!!!

"..."

Bash: Errrr...Da?

Blythe: We're fine.

Bell: It was actually pretty funny--

Soren: GIRLS!!! YOU ARE SCARED, BECAUSE I SAID SO!!! YOU ARE SCARED!!! ADMIT IT!!!!

He pisses on the floor.

"..."

Gylfie: ...Soren?

Soren (squeaking): Yes?

Digger: Soren...if you're scared, just say so. Don't use the three B's as an excuse; they're even braver than you are--

Soren: I'M NOT SCARED!!!!!!

Twilight: Mwahahahahaha...

Soren: GAH!!!

Jumps on Digger. Digger collapses from the weight.

Soren: HEY!!!!

Clutches at Gylfie.

Soren: HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME DIGGYYYYYYYY!!!!! DON'T JUST SIT THERE!!!! HOLD ME!!! SOMEBODY HOLD MEEEEE!!!!!!

"..."

Gylfie: And to think people pair me up with you...

angelolittledemon

Tigerstar: What the hell was that thing that just appeared above us??

PT: Oh, angelolittledemon? I'm watching YouTube live now, and this guy just gave his username; I'm typing it down to remember.

Bluestar: So, basically, you're planning to stalk him???

"..."

PT: AHEM!!! Uncomfortable silence.

"..."

PT: OMG AKON!!!!

"..."

Pelli (clears throat): Ahem, first re--

Is taken by Albus Potter.

Albus: REVENGE!!! I STILL WANNA SEE BABY-MAKING!!

"..."

Albus: AHEM, anyways, first review from...who?

Paper is snatched by Otulissa.

Striga (reading over her shoulder): Oh, Dead Promises changed his penname to Ten Black Roses. He--

PT: NOOO!!!!!!!! STRIGA MUST GET HIS HEAD CUT OFF!!!!!!!!

Throws Striga out the window.

PT: BURN IN HAGSMIRE, OOOORRLLLAAAAANNDDOOOOO!!!!!!!! I'M ASHAMED OF KNOWING WE'RE FROM THE SAME CONTINENT!!!!

"_..."_

_WE'RE—YA KNOW—EXPERIENCING THE DIFFICULTIES THAT ARE TECHNICAL... XO_

Some old old lady's voice: Peanuts—I love peanuts.

PT: I like meaples :3

"..."

PT: NNOOOOO!!!!!!! HENRY TOOK THE CHOCOLATE PUUUUDIINNNGGG!!!!

"_..."_

_Yeah, we're back..._

Coryn: AHEM...I never got to properly host the show...

Is knocked out by Soren.

Soren: Ahem!! Anyway, review from Ten Black Roses:

_**Golly! Well, I was going to leave this story.  
But what the heck! This story has been around for too long in order for me to betray it! (yup, I'm two times five dark flowers now according to ma penname!).  
I'm just here to read the story, and cherish its integrity while it lasts on this cold planet we dub earth , no questions from me. So once again, it's been a blast checking out porny's antics (or corny or coryn), and seeing HP, Naruto and FMA characters here. I swear that all the chapters I've come across here will be engraved within the halls of my memory under the door of "good times" as they have so earned it. The books may have concluded, but the fandom lives within everyone! Even if I physically leave the fandom, I will never leave it spiritually. The saga will retain its pride always!! (or at least unless the movie that's going to come out in 2010 ends up sucking, which I highly doubt since it's going to be directed by THE Zack Snider of "300" and "Watchmen" fame)  
So once the last chapter comes, I'll be ready!  
But still, until we meet again  
STAY GOLD!**_

(P.S. For Ezylgirl, thanks for the message! I'n glad YOUR persistance was stronger than mine. Otherwise I wouldn't have been ignorant enough to to forget to reply! Sorry)

-(Formerly Jaymon2 and Dead Promises) Ten Black Roses ;)

PT: Ahhh, I feel nostalgic...

"..."

PT: I can't wait for the movie either!! And I hope we clash again in some other fandom or whatnot! And I'm glad my fic has gone this far :D

Everyone falls in a heap crying.

"_..."_

_Sniffle, sniffle... Technical difficul—WHAT??? NEVER HEARD A TIGER SOB BEFORE??!!!!!?!??? SHUT UP!!!_

"_..."_

_I feel nostalgi--_

Random voice: JUST GO, LITTLE B--

_...We're back!!!_

Pelli: I'm an ugly girl/ My face makes you hu--

Soren throws up all over her.

Ebisu: So...

PT: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE AND—Look over there!!! It's Barbie!!!

Ebisu: REALLY!? WHERE!!??

Looks. It's naked Nyra.

"..."

Ebisu blasts off with a nosebleed.

Ebisu: GGGAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"..."

Naruto: And so ends the tragic pervert...

"..."

PT: Oooohhhh...NOSTALGIANOSTALGIANOSTALGIANOSTALGIANOSTALGIANOSTALGIA...

Sniffles.

Harry sighs.

Harry: And just when I thought I was rid of you...

PT: WHAT WAS THAAATTT!!!!!

Pounds him.

Harry: GAAAAAAAHHHH!!! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!

PT: I LIKE FRENCH PEOPLE!!!

Everyone else: ???

PT: WAAHHHH!!!!

Continues pounding French people. Wait, what? I meant Harry, not the French.

Fleur: Hmph. ZAT eez most inzulting...

Flips her hair back. PT imitates her.

PT: OH, I'M EMO! I'M EMO, LOOK AT ME DO THAT FLIPPY THING WITH MY HAIR!!

"..."

Kakashi: Uh-oh...

Bill: Now, calm down, Fleur...

Fleur: Hmph.

"..."

PT: Oh, by the way, on my dA account, PTDaHood, I have started posting a story, called "A High School Story." Please read, I'm working on prose on that site...

Coryn knocks her out.

Coryn: I thought you abandoned advertising long ago...

PT suddenly starts screaming and crying.

Coryn: ???

PT: WAAAHHH!!!!

Kalo: ...

Sakura: CORYN!!! NOW YOU MADE HER CR--

PT hugs Kakashi.

PT: NOOOO!!!!! DON'T--

Long beep ensues.

Subtitles: Spoiler warning...

PT: WHY DID YOU HAVE TO D--

BEEEEPPP...

PT: WHY!?!?! WHY!!??!? DOSHITE?!?! NANDE!?!?! WEI SHA MA!??!

Naruto: She's saying "why" in Japanese and—I presume—Chinese.

PT: WHHHYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kakashi: ...That was uncalled for her.

Gai: AAAHHH!!! THE FLAMING POWER OF YOUTH SCREAMS IN DISTRESS!!!

Tenten: ...

Neji: ...

Lee: GAI-SENSEI!!!! TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN!!!

"..."

Gai: YES, LEE!! YOUTH SHALL NEVER DIEE!!!

Lee: GAI-SENSEI!!!

Gai: LEE!!!

Lee: GAI-SENSEI!!!

Gai: LEE!!!

Lee: GAI-SENSEI!!!

Gai: LEE!!!

Lee: GAI-SENSEI!!!

Gai: LEE!!!

Lee: GAI-SENSEI!!!

Gai: LEE!!!

Sunset with mountainous backdrop appears, and they start crying and hugging.

Lee: GAI-SENSEI!

Gai: LEE!!

"..."

Both make the nice-guy pose.

"..."

Ginny: ...Now I can see why Demi warned us about them...

Arthur: They're freaking demented as hell...

Molly: ARTHUR!! LANGUAGE!

Arthur backs away.

Molly: Arthur...

Arthur: ...Yes dear...

"..."

Dante: ...Next re--

PT: NO! I hate you.

She takes the paper and reads.

PT: Next review from ezylrybbit:

_**I'm so glad I'll be able to stop reviewing. I'm running out of creative things to say. -shot-**_

PT: So I presume Yami died?

"..."

PT: My alter ego is dying.

"..."

PT: WHY IS EVERYONE IGNO--

Sees Al eating chocolate pudding.

PT: YOU!

Al: Huh?

PT tackles and tries to take his pudding.

PT: PUUUUDDDIIINNNNGGG!!!!

Al: WHAT!!!!? But it's mi--

PT holds up a cat and a razor.

Al: ...

PT smirks.

PT: I knew you'd see it my way, Aru.

She pats his head.

Nyra: Anyway, nex--

Everyone jumps back.

Everyone: HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?!?!?!

Nyra: I was missing Kludd's third head and was sad. So I came! :D

Coryn backs away.

"..."

Nyra: So, last review is from Duckstar, who has changed her name to ZaraPotterCullen:

_**...lol...Fear me Coryn, for I the almighty Duckstar has returned as ZaraPotterCullen! (ZPC for short)**_

_**  
-zaps Coryn with a ray that reverses his name-**_

Mwahahahaha! Nobody can escape my wrath!

-zaps Soren, Otulissa, and Firestar-

btw I speak Chinese too. I'll miss this fic once its done. Accept these gifts as a token of my appreciation for making me laugh.

-this letter comes with a box of chocolates, a bottle of feather removing cream, and a biography about Nyroc-

P. message will self-destruct in about 0.253698746851 seconds. Farewell fictional creatures!

Armstrong breaks out in tears.

Armstrong: MARVELOUS!!!! SO PROUD OF A TOUCHING FAREWELL AFTER A YEAR OF ACQUAINTENCE!!!

He hugs everyone; everyone screams.

Lily: This guy's too strong... GUH...

PT: So...I presume--

Everyone gives tortured screams!!!

Everyone: AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! WE'RE SUFFOCATING!!! HELP!!!

Armstrong drops them.

"..."

PT: Anyway, I presume ZPC likes Twilight now, yes? :) Not the best books I've read in my life—they're kind of boring—but--

Avoid fans' glares and pitchforks.

PT: Twilight's good all the same.

Nyroc: NNOOO!!!!! I'M NYROC AGAIN!!!

Background flashes with lightning.

Nyra: MWAHAHAHAHA!!!! SEE!! IT'S NEVER CORYN!!!! IT'S NYROC!!!

Soren, Otulissa, and Firestar: GAAAHHHH!!!!!

"..."

PT: Yeah, nice...

Soren, Otulissa, Firestar, and Nyroc: HEY!! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT US??????

PT: Nope, you're too cute.

"..."

The four zapped ones: How in the hell of it does that make sense???

PT: It doesn't, it just does.

"..."

Crowfeather: What?

Lee: GAI-SENSEI!!! MY BRAIN HURTS!!!!

Naruto: SHUT UP!--SO DO MINE!!!

PT eats chocolate.

PT: Makes up for always missing the chocolate for lunch.

"..."

Plonk: Share a bit here?

PT: No.

Bubo: Please?

PT: No.

Poot: P--

PT: FINE!!

Shares the chocolate.

Doc Finebeak: Awww, how nice!! :D

"..."

PT: I regret it now...

"..."

PT: Well, finally another Chinese-speaker! :D High five!

Pelli: I wonder what I could do with this cream...

Pelli glances at the PlayBird Magazine, then at Soren.

Pelli: HUHUHUHUHUH...

Soren backs away.

Nyroc: Damn it...

Faints.

"..."

PT: Wow.

Gylfie begins reading his biography.

Gylfie: Ohhh...interesting...HEY KALO COME HERE AND LOOK! HE HAD FEELINGS FOR YOU!!!

Kalo: Huh?

She reads it.

"..."

Cory: EWWW!! NYROC LIKES MY SISTER! NYROC LIKES MY SISTER!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T EVER BE MORE ASHAMED OF ANYTHING ELSE AGAIN!!! EWWW!!!!!!

"..."

Cory: AND THE NOTE WILL EXPLODE! THE NOTE WILL EXPLODE!!!

PT: ...Um...it's not; I think there's something wrong with.

The note blows up.

PT: GAH!!!

PT jumps back.

PT: HEY! IT MAKES A SMALL FIREPLACE!!! LET'S PLAY NATIVE AMERICAN AND DANCE AROUND IT!!!

She dances around it, singing.

"..."

PT: Well, I bid you all adieu! Thanks to all who have ever participated in this fiction of mine that is the first chapter story to be completed!

Roy sniffles.

Riza: Yup.

Gylfie: We would like to thank everyone in random order--

Soren: ezylrybbit.

Kalo: Adderstar of ValorClan.

Ed: Ten Black Roses.

PT: NOSTALGIA!!

"..."

The three B's: Yeah...

Winry: Demented things took place here.

"..."

Naruto: Alex Romanov.

Rock: ZaraPotterCullen.

Kakashi: MCPooky and Wolf of Silver Dawn.

Sakura: Why the hell would you say both names at once??

Kakashi: I felt like it! :D

"..."

Konohamaru: Huh. Goofy sensei.

Bookheart: Ih8Bush.

Hohenheim: britiyb.

Kiba: Felli.

Snape: Eater of Crayons.

Ginny: Yami.

Everyone else: !!!

PT: And, lastly—also unfortunately—my brat brother Gar-Gar XO

"..."

PT: We had good times--

Everyone else: Don't even START on a speech.

"..."

PT: Fine...

Turns.

PT: Mutiny!

Is jumped.

Pelli: ...

Everyone turns to screen.

Twilight: Well...good-bye...

Jaypaw: Bye...

Armstrong bursts into tears.

Armstrong: BYYYEEEE!!!!

Everyone jumps each other and cry.

Camera: Well...later...

Subtitles: BYE!!!

Camera shuts down for the last time, just as PT punches Pelli because she felt like it. Don't worry, she lived...in the infirmary for a few months before being let out.

Never was a tale of more woe—than that of PT and her--

PT: OH SHUT UP!!!!

"..."

**END**


End file.
